Here are some bullets on other happenings in my life:
- We finally bought our house and have moved! Not all the painting and such is done, but we are in, it looks decent and we are happy. And we even have our tree up! I'll post pictures some day.
- I almost lost my job a few months ago and this is why I haven't posted. My internet usage is monitored closely. Yeah it was my fault and I knew I was doing wrong, but I was trying to ease my anxiety of being back at work. Since then I've been back to the doctor a few times and I'm now in addition to my antidepressants I'm also on anti-anxiety meds. They seem to be helping though.
- I don't get much sleep these days and it's not because of Lillian. I have these crazy dreams that are constantly waking me up, and my anxiety of too much to do and not enough time. Both are things I just need to get used to. I talked to the doc this week and he said he could give me drugs to help me sleep and not dream, but the sleep wouldn't be any more restful because of the side effects of the meds.
- I've started thinking about baby number two, but I just don't know where I'm at yet. I'm very hurt that in a week it will be 8 months since my husband and I have had sex. And no, it's not for a lack of trying. I gave up back in August though when I said to him "we have the house to our selves for a few hours, lets go to the bedroom" he said "I have to call Shaun, maybe we can leave early" And just last month I surprised him and got a sitter and we went to dinner alone and talked and I told him that it was starting to bother me emotionally that we hadn't had sex. Yup still no sex and I'm really starting to feel down about myself. I'm almost to the point that I don't know if I even want to have sex just because I feel like he'd be doing it cause I'm upset, not because he wants to. I understand that he does a lot of physical labor all day, but shouldn't the thought of being intimate with your wife be enough to give you the energy for sex a leat once a month?!