Laney - 6 Months

It seems un-real to be half way through her first year!

 Newborn     6 Months

 

It seems weird that she actually had a well child visit:

Length: 27.25” (95%)

Weight: 16lb 5oz ( 59% This is actually and ounce less than last month)

*Dr. Do Nothing did comment that her weight gain has slowed and will slow even more as she starts to crawl and get around more.  She isn't concerned.  I on the other hand am a little, her weight gain didn't slow, it stopped last month.  Although she was comparing it to her 4 month weight of 15lb 3oz.

Diapers: Size 3, the huggies fit best now, but once she moves up in the weight limit we’ll have to switch back to pampers for the larger leg holes.

Clothes: Mostly 6 Month stuff.  Still fits some 3 month and already some 9 month.

Toys: We’ve gotten out the “bigger” toys.  She’s still loving the exersaucer and now the Jumperoo too.  She’s also very interested in her moving ball and the gumball machine toy.

Food: She is very interested in food.  We started her last month and now she eats sweet potatoes, green beans, plums and pears.  We only use cereal once in a while to thicken up a fruit that is overly runny.  She also had her first Melba toast that she did quite well with.

Sleep: Still waking up at least once a night to eat, some times twice.  And on a rare occasion Mommy gets a full night’s sleep.

She sits like a pro now and reaches for EVERYTHING, toys, food, your shirt, the back of the chair, anything she can get her hands on.

She is definitely interested in figuring out how to get around.  With her ball that rolls around on the floor with the lights you can see her mind working to figure out how to get to it.

Sure I play with this paper until Dr comes in!

At her well visit I informed Dr. Do nothing that I took her off the med that was supposed to make her stop spitting up and help her digest.  It wasn’t doing either and I thought it was pointless.  She agreed it was the right call.  She didn’t however say anything one way or the other about me giving her Miralax.  She, again, gave me a run down of the foods that would make her constipated and what wouldn’t.  See list above for all foods that promote healthy bowel movements.  It makes me sad to think that there are parents out there that need those things told to them several times, I just don’t happen to be one of them, thank you.  So until things become more get more regular I plan to keep with the Miralax.

Besides that she’s the perfect picture of health!

Until she puked all over last night :-(  And I don't just mean some spit up, I mean she covered my tank top wearing back, herself, and got some on the floor.  It took 2 receiving blankets to clean it up.  And it smelled horrible!  She was so scared and I felt so bad for her.  

She slept for a few hours and then woke up again.  She sounded like she may be sick again, but she moved around and farted *like a man* and was then happy as pie.  She ate and thought it was play time.  She lay there squealing with delight as I struggled to keep my eyes open.  She never had a fever over 100.2 and besides being clingy seems perfectly fine now.

She Pooped!

Finally!

And I would be lying if I said I wasn't glad she did it at the sitter's. If we are totally honest, I'd be happy if from now on she only poops while she's at the sitters, but I'm pretty sure that won't happen since I do like having her home.

I don't know how much it really helped her belly though. We still spent most of last night with a very uncomfortable baby. I know some of it is teething, the girl is chewing everything! But the way she throws her body around isn't teething. Last night it was so bad I had to put her on my bed and let her go cause I couldn't keep her on my lap, I was afraid I was going to drop her! After 10 or 15 minutes she got comfortable enough to fall asleep and I didn't bother her again. After eating in the night she had trouble getting comfortable again too. This morning she woke up with all sorts of gas out of both ends. I'm at a loss still. I'm going to keep up with feeding her plums and cereal for a few days and see if we can get her to poop a little more frequently. I'm also looking into a second opinion on her reflux. I'm really irritated by the way my pedi keeps just upping the dose of her meds.

Not that I want the 3 month supply and $70 worth of meds I just got in the mail to go to waist, but I want my happy little girl back.

Oh and she has started crying when I leave after feeding her and giving her medicine at lunch time during the day. Breaks my heart so much I can barely leave.

Here's my big girl yesterday riding in the cart rest for the first time!

Tummy Troubles

Saturday night I actually thought I was going to get some time to myself to blog *gasp* while not at work!  And I did, but I did it on my weight loss blog.

Sadly though the post that should have taken 15 minutes tops took me over an hour.

Starting Friday night I decided it was time for Laney to start sleeping in her own bed.  I don't need 2 girls that won't sleep alone in their room and I swore I wouldn't let it happen.  Well, at 5.5 months old I can see that I may have started a little too late.  But I have been making Laney take her naps in her bed for a few weeks now.  I even take her in and lay her down awake for her naps.  Once in a while I have to go in and have to rock to her to sleep, but that's better than her being in my bed.

So anyway, Friday night went great, she slept in there until 1am when she woke up for her nightly meds and feeding.  At this point I brought her back to my bed.  I do this so that I actually have a chance to fall back asleep before my alarm normally goes off (at 3:30am).

Saturday all was good, except she seemed to be having some trouble getting comfortable and was acting as if she was fighting sleep.  Now I learned with Lilli that if I laid her down before she was tired she would scream, talk whatever until I can in.  But Laney was tired!  Her eyes were all red, she was rubbing them and so on.  But she couldn't get comfortable.  Once she finally did, she slept for 2 hours.  She was pretty good the rest of the day until it was time for bed.  At her normal bed time of 8pm I took her into her room to feed her rather than laying in bed with mommy.  After eating it didn't take long for her to fall asleep.  Unfortunately within 20 minutes of falling asleep again she was awake and not going back to sleep.  She'd start to fall asleep and would all of a sudden throw her head back arching her back.  Then she'd try to curl right up into a ball or throw herself from side to side.  Most of the time with her eyes closed and a thumb in her mouth.  This went on until almost 11pm.  She managed to sleep until 2, but it took longer than normal for her to go back to sleep then and then she was up again from 4 to 5.  Sunday was filled mostly with eating, wanting to be held and some sleeping.  She actually did quite well at the outside birthday party we attended my niece.  Although I held her most of the time, she napped on my shoulder and didn't cry too much when I put her down in her seat so I could eat.  On the 15 minute car ride home she fell asleep and even stayed asleep while I got her out of her seat and in the house.  It wasn't until  gave her meds that she opened her eyes and sissy thought she needed "watch" her.  She has a very hard time understanding that no talking means NO talking.  So again last night I was up with little Laney until 11 with the same screaming, as Saturday night, only this time my alarm was going off at 3:30 am!

If you do not wish to read about my daughter's bowel movements you may want to stop reading now...

So here's my worry, I don't know if all this is reflux related or not.  Right now she is on 2 medications.  One for the reflux (twice a day) and one that is supposed to help her digest faster and not spit up so much (every 6 hours).  I think they are both technically working, but also causing another major problem.  She isn't pooping.  My poor girl is going 3 days without a messy diaper and even when they come they are not normal.  The last decent one was like paste.  As of right now the last one she had was Friday morning and that was more like a messy fart.  And the one she had yesterday I can't even count because it looked more like a booger came out her ass.  yes, it was even greenish and sticky.

And my poor girl can't get the gas out either!  I've tried rice cereal and oatmeal (both made with apple juice), I've tried not giving it to her, I've tried diluted apple juice and tonight will be plums (prunes are just dried up plums).  If this doesn't work I don't know what I'm going to do.

Time for Change

I need to make some changes.  Things feel so unsettled in my life right now that I'm not sure where to begin.

I know for one thing, Lillian and I both need to start eating healthier.  I've been feeling this way since Delaney was only a few weeks old.  Its a good thing I started running again when I did because I'm pretty sure I would have gained some weight back.  I'm holding steady around 214 right now and that just isn't acceptable.  Especially since I'm running a minimum of 6 miles a week.  I mean, its not much, but it is exercise!

Lillian and Delaney had their well child visits yesterday...

Delaney: 2 Months
Height: 24.5" (above 95%)
Weight: 13lb 6oz (above 95%)

As if they don't grow fast enough!  My friend had her baby girl 6 days before me (she was due the day before me) and she is only 21.5" and 9lbs something.  That's barely what Delaney was when she was born!  I won't lie, I'm jealous of her small baby.

Lillian: 3 Years
Height: 36.5"
Weight: 35.5"

This has her doctor a little worried.  Her BMI is increasing every visit and that isn't good.  When I looked it up on the Mayo.Clinic site yesterday I found that if you put her in as 3 feet she's considered obese and if you put her in as 3'1" she is over weight.  So basically for a 3 year old girl she is on the verge of being obese.  This broke my heart.

So besides getting our eating habits changed, I need to figure out a way to communicate better with my husband.  We have definitely been having a break down late and while we are calmly mentioning things here and there and some what resolving them, we really need to sit down and have a serious talk about things without be interrupted by a 3 year old.  Especially since I think this talk will help relieve some of my stress.  Especially when some of that stress is caused by the condition of my house.  IT IS A MESS!!!  Clothes (at least most of them are clean piles) all over, toys all over, just random stuff all over.  And I can't even tell you how bad the sheets on my bed need to be changed, but I haven't had the time.  It never even crosses my mind until it's time to go to bed!

And speaking of not enough time, I better get some work done.  I've had this window open for 2 hours now trying to get this posted!

The new bath routine includes both of them in the tub!

She's smiling a lot these days!

Sick Little Girl

My poor girl woke up in the night last night and cried out as she has been doing nightly for weeks now. Like most nights I rolled over and woke B up.  He met her half way between our room and her room and picked her up to go back to her room, when he all of a sudden realized she had puked all over herself.  My poor baby was scared.  He brought her to me who's first thought was "she isn't supposed to come into our bed" until he pointed out she was sick.  She was shaking and trying to find the words to tell me what happened.  "Mommy, my tummy hurts, I spit."  So after stripping her down, making sure the rest of her was clean, changing the diaper and attempting to take a temperature, I wrapped her up in towels and put her "Choo-Choo All Aboard" movie in (that's the Polar Express for those who are wondering).  Daddy was nice and cleaned up her bed and then slept on the couch so that mommy could stay with her.  She got sick 3 more times between then and 6am, but not nearly as bad as that first time.

It was very hard to leave her with daddy at 11:30 to come into work for a half day, but she seemed to be feeling much better and hadn't been sick since eating some frosted.mini.wheats.  She still wanted to cuddle with mommy though and I felt bad having to tell her no.  And just before I left she said her belly hurt and asked for ice.  It was too cute.  When I left her and daddy were cuddled up on the couch watching Home.Alone for the millionth time this season.

19 Week Depression

Today's post is going to be more on the serious side.  No one ever thinks that once they finally get what they've been praying for, for almost 2 years, that they would get depressed.  But the truth is, depression doesn't only happen during hard times or with the loss of a loved one.

 

To some one who's never been depressed before, it's a very hard thing to understand.  It's not something you can just "snap out of" or "get over".  Its typically this feeling of seclusion that keeps increasing until you realize that you are depressed.  Most times you find that while you are generally happy with your life, you feel unhappy and like nothing will make you happy.  That probably doesn't make sense to anyone who hasn't been there, but that's what it's like.

 

For example: Right now, besides still having to work every day at a job I don't like, my life is generally happy.  Problem is, I don't feel happy.  I feel like I'm going through the motions and that things are hopeless, even though I know they aren't and that everything is going to be fine. 

 

Most times it's hard to diagnose depression during pregnancy because most doctors will just blame it on the hormones.  I do think hormones make it so much worse.  

 

I feel bad for all those who try to help those who are depressed.  Hearing over and over again that they don't know what's wrong and that there is nothing you can do to help has to be discouraging and sound like they don't want help.  But the truth is, we really don't know what's causing these feelings and that if we knew what would make us feel better, we'd be sure to tell you.

 

REMINDER: Friday at 9:30 the poll for Gender and chance at a free hat closes.  Be sure to leave a comment with your vote!  Just voting doesn't tell me who voted.  I have 5 votes on the poll but only know what 3 people (Sunny, Jenn, PatchHats) voted for.  If you already voted, but didn't leave a comment, leave a comment now.

 



Losing Weight?

I wish I was referring to me actually losing weight, but alas I am not. I will weigh myself and do my weekly update in the next few days.  Can you tell I really don't want to?  Not so much the weekly update, but weigh myself.

Anyway, in the last 2 weeks I've had a few people ask me if I was losing weight.  Bless these wonderful women!  Although I looked at them like they were crazy, the truth is I probably have "lost" some weight since I saw them last.  I did lose 20lbs and even if I've gained 5 of it back already I'm still probably 15lbs lighter than the last time I saw them.  It makes me feel good to know that my body doesn't look as big as it feels.

Yesterday I decided that with approaching the 2nd trimester and the impending return of some energy, I need to start getting some exercise. 

I didn't mention last week with my golfing decision is that on Wednesday I started having sciatic pain, Thursday it turned into a lower back ache and by Friday I couldn't even stand up straight to walk.  This is a problem I've had before while not pregnant so I started doing my stretches and exercises to get my back into shape again.  In the beginning it was very hard to even get in the position to do the stretches, let alone actually do them.  By yesterday afternoon though I was at least able to go do my grocery shopping without too much trouble.  I did decide last night that I need to start sleeping with my body pillow again though to help with sciatic pain and back problems.  Which seems early to me because I didn't need them until I was about 4 months with Lillian.  Oh well, at least I don't need to go buy them this time!

Anyway, as I was saying, I decided to start my day off with some yoga this morning.  It's 30 minutes and not too strenuous, but I think it's perfect for now with my back and lack of energy.  Maybe I can get back to walking in a week or so.

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I had this written

In my head last night, about 2am.

When I got up to go to the bathroom for the 3rd time last night I had a hard time falling back asleep. So I lay there thinking about all the things I wanted to blog about, I even had it titled and a rough draft in my head. Do you think I can remember any of it now?

Remember when I mentioned in this post how I've always thought there may be an issue with my thyroid, but both my GP and OB said my levels were normal. Well yesterday my new NP (nurse practitioner) called and wanted me to get more blood work done. Turns out that calcium and the function of your thyroid are connected. She ordered the PTH Intact test. There is some good information here. I have had symptoms of both hyper- and hypo- calcemia. They are also checking my Vitamin D and calcium levels again. I'm so glad I finally have a doctor that is taking this a step further than just "oh everything is relatively fine."

Do you remember me talking about the MIL that irritates me? You know, the one who took sleeping Lillian out of her seat while I was in the bathroom the day that I brought her home from the hospital. Well I've just recently "gotten over" how inconsiderate she is (not really the word I want, but it's all I can think of at the moment. Anyway, she calls me yesterday and says "where did you get that mat for under Lillian's car seat?" Then she she tells me that she bought Lillian a car seat. Now I appreciate the fact that she doesn't want me to have to keep switching the car seat from our car to hers when she has Lillian, but don't you think maybe she should have discussed this with me before buying it. Here are my problems 1- it's used. Not to say it isn't in good condition, but I would really like to have checked it out before she spent $50 on it. 2 - it's a brand I've never hear of. That doesn't mean it isn't a good brand, but I need to know ratings and such. She justified this by saying "I looked it up online and it's normally $190." Umm hello, expensive doesn't mean safe.

If she had talked to me I would have told her to go to Walmart and get one like the one I have that was only $60 and has high ratings for safety and use. Then I was sitting there thinking "there is no way Lillian is sitting in it unless I install it". Which thankfully she asked me to do. I honestly don't even trust B to put her car seat in a car. He never seems to tighten it enough, I think he gets frustrated.

So I'm thinking of saying something to her like "wish you would have said something, you could have gotten a new one like mine for $60."

Well that's all I can remember now... Hope everyone has a great weekend!

4 Week Random Thoughts

Well, maybe they aren't quite random cause they are consuming my brain, but to you they will probably seem random.

Having experienced a miscarriage with my first pregnancy, taking 9 months to get pregnant again, and then 19 months to get pregnant a second time, well I'm sure you can imagine it's a whirlwind of emotions in me, or I was expecting it to be.

With my first pregnancy, I didn't know miscarriage was so common. And although we told everyone at 5 weeks I didn't feel like I was going to have a baby. It just didn't feel real to me. I don't know if it was subconscious or what, but I wasn't all that shocked when I lost the baby at 7 weeks. Something just didn't feel right.

With Lillian, it felt right. I had moments where I felt like the other foot was going to drop, but generally I felt like I was going to have a baby. Not physically, but mentally and emotionally. I feel that way this time too. I feel like I'm going to be having a baby. It seems real to me that in March (or if it's anything like Lillian in February) I will be bringing home a new member to our family.

What is getting me though is how I will feel if this does become a nightmare and not the wonderful dream it is right now. I'm feeling so much confidence in this pregnancy, even with an increased chance of miscarriage from the fluid, that if it does happen I will crushed, devastated, inconsolable.

Enough of that. I'm so happy and excited because I WILL be bringing home a baby (a boy I think) next year.

So for this pregnancy I have decided I'm am going to be active. I am going to keep my weight down! With Lillian I was so scared that exercising and such in the beginning was going to make me lose her that I didn't do it. Then by the time I thought it would be ok, I just didn't have the energy to get back into it. So this time, things are going to be different. Although I'm going to take a step back and only jog and walk, I'm going to continue to do my morning work outs paying closer attention to my heart rate and how hot I am. This morning I went 1.8 miles on the treadmill. I'm also going to make sure that what I eat is healthy, and not just carbs. I can tell already that the nausea I had with Lillian (which was all day) is going to be nothing compared to what I'm going to have this time. I'm pretty sure I've been having it since the day this bean started to implant and it's only starting to last longer. If anyone has good suggestions to for easy to bring to work snacks that are good for nausea, I'd love to hear them!

I guess I'll stop rambling now. I did weigh myself this morning and will update every week on how things are going.

Race Day!

I'm not really complaining here, although some might say I am, but the number of labs I've had done in the last year is just too much. Now I know it could be way worse and some people do have it way worse, so I'm not complaining, but let's be honest, who wants to have their blood drawn at all.

I honestly don't even know how many times in the last year I've been to the lab, but I can say that everyone in there recognizes me now and says things like "back so soon?" Yeah it's crappy.

I bring this up because I really appreciate the thoughts on what may be going on with me. Yesterday Jenn suggested that I could have a problem with my thyroid. And honestly I've always thought I may have a problem with it, but the at least 3 times its been tested in the last year, it's come back normal. The last of those times being back in May with my fertility testing. And normally I'd get a second opinion, but considering that both my OB and GP (general practitioner) say that its ok, I'm going to believe them.

Please, feel free to leave me comments on anything you want to suggest may be the issue, or any experiences with exhaustion like I'm experiencing. I try to refrain from googling since all that does is make me anxious that I have some weird disease.

On to more important things like the title of this blog. It's Race Day!!! I'm running in the Cha.seCorpo.rateCha.llenge tonight and I'm totally excited! This is my first race and it's a 3.5 mile run rather than just a 5K (3 miles). I signed up because my boss here at work is heading up the team. Of course work paid for it and they are supplying a delicious meal afterwards. I also like the cause. This event "will benefit [local] not-for-profit organizations that support affordable, quality early care and education." The race I'm in will specifically benefit Child Care Solutions.

So please wish me luck that my energy will last until this evening and that it isn't too hot and humid, or storming...

Infertility Awareness Week

This week is National Infertility Awareness Week, so I want to share some of my experiences with you.

There are many myths out there about infertility. I think the biggest one is that it is not common. Did you know that 1 in 8 couples have fertility issues? With statistics like that chances are you know someone who suffers from infertility.

Here are a few other myths:
~ Infertility means you can't get pregnant: this is true, but infertility also covers the repeated loss of pregnancy.

~ Infertility is a female condition: This is not true, of the couples suffering from infertility, approximately 17% are male factor cases.

~ If you get pregnant easily the first time you will not suffer from infertility: Secondary infertility is when you are able to get pregnant and have a baby and then can't get pregnant again.

I never knew what infertility even was until we decided we were ready to have a baby. As I was taught in school I figured all I needed to do was have unprotected sex and I would be pregnant. This in itself to me is a myth, but it is true for many couples. I thought it was true for us when we got pregnant only the 2nd month we tried. We were so excited, and kept the secret for about a week and announced it to all the family at Christmas. It was the best Christmas ever, until two weeks later when I started spotting. I hadn't even had my first OB appointment yet so they sent me for an Ultrasound to check on the pregnancy. There was a baby and it had a heartbeat of 94 bpm. To me this was a good sign, until 2 days later when I started cramping and they sent me for another ultrasound. This time the tech wouldn't show me the screen and I knew there was no heartbeat. I had prepared myself for the news already, but it was still devastating.

Doctors recommendations were to wait for my next cycle before we started crying again. This was fine with me, I needed time to mourn my loss. Again we made an incorrect assumption though. We thought that because we got pregnant so quickly the first time that within a cycle or two we would be pregnant again. Month after month we timed sex, I took my temperature, I used Ovulation Predictor Kits (OPKs), the cheap and the expensive and month after month a new cycle would begin. As we neared my due date for the first pregnancy I decided it was time to take a break. We were going to have sex for fun and if nothing happened I would schedule an appointment to start fertility testing. Not paying attention to my cycle turned out to be much harder than I anticipated so I made sure we were having timed sex. I wasn't even going to test because I was sure it was going to be negative. A few days after my original due date and a few days before our anniversary I decided to test anyway, after all it was becoming a habit. This time though, I didn't even look at the test. I made B go in the bathroom and look for me. I couldn't stand seeing another negative test. To my surprise he came back to the bedroom speechless and just shook his head yes. All of a sudden I was flooded with emotions. Joy, fear, excitement... I didn't know how I really felt.

For more information on infertility please visit http://www.resolve.org/infertility101 and http://www.resolve.org/takecharge. for more information on National Infertility Awareness Week® (NIAW)

Stress...

That seems to describe my life lately. The problem is, figuring out where the stress is coming from.

I really think that everyday life is stressful to some extent and that it has just been a little extra stressful in most areas this past week. I won't bore you with Husband irritations or Daughter attitudes, because really it's just the same old, same old.

I did have a small sense of accomplishment on Friday when I got Lillian's Birthday Party invitations sent out. I also did my Easter shopping. This year for Lillian's Easter basket I decided to get something useful. She is getting a Little People Bus Wagon with blocks in it and a few plastic Easter Eggs filled with some M&Ms. Much more practical than your everyday basket.

And Being that her Birthday is the day before Easter this year I didn't think she really needs much. I also got a few things for her Birthday party. It's going to be a Dora themed Barbecue. If anyone has some suggestions on BBQ food to fit the Dora theme I'd love to hear them!

This weekend was a shower for my friends Heather and Ali that just welcomed their little girl Shaelan.

And yes, I was the fool that almost gave them an outfit that said "Daddy's Star". Thankfully I noticed it while I was wrapping it and didn't. Then yesterday I don't know if I came down with the flu or if it's just a bad sinus cold, but I feel horrible! Achy and my heads all stuffed up, no energy and I don't really even want to move. My husband was nice enough to go do my grocery shopping for me and then take Lillian to my MILs so I could get some rest. Of course I'm at work today even though I probably shouldn't be. I only have 5 vacation days left until August and I'll be damned if I'm going to spend them sick in bed!

The diet is going ok. I'm proud of myself for the strength I've shown over the last week. Several times I wanted to break down and didn't. Although on Saturday because of the shower I did eat off plan. But it was the only thing I ate all day and I didn't even gain half a lb back. And then with feeling so sick yesterday all I ate all day was an Orange Dream Slushy, which is on plan, so this morning I woke up to a nice # that is my pre-pregnancy weight!

The ER

First that you for all the positive comments on my last post. I've stopped stressing out about things cause all that matters is that she gets here safely. I'd like to have my ideal birth, but who wouldn't. As long as she's here, it'll be perfect.

It's was a long weekend. Saturday night I started having these sharp pains in my hip once in a while when I walked. Yesterday I woke up fine. I went to my cousins shower at 1 and then at 3:30 I went to WalMart and it started again while I was walking around. When I got home at 5 I sat on my bed to fold some laundry and basically couldn't move. Every little movement I made sent a stabbing pain into my butt and down the thigh. It got a little better after a while and I could move out to the couch, but certain movements (random) would take my breathe away. Well about 8 B decided we should go to bed. He helped me off the couch and I started heading into the bedroom. It hurt to walk so he tried to help me, but even that was too painful and i ended up having to crawl to the bedroom. So I called the Dr and she said to go to the ER because she wanted to make sure I didn't have a blood clot. Thankfully i don't, but the bad news is there really isn't anything I can do about it. It's my sciatic nerve. They did give me Tylenol 3, but I hate taking it, they said it's safe, but still. So I'm home today and tomorrow in hopes that maybe Lilly will change her position and it will help, if not, I pretty much have to deal with it until delivery. She's moving around a lot today though so I have hope.

Keeping me on my toes...

So I got out of work early yesterday to go get my hair done. And then I was off to get my blood drawn. That surprisingly only took about 5 minutes including parking the car. After that I headed home where B was getting ready for bowling. I decided to go to subway cause I was hungry. This was about 4. Around 5:30 I was feeling exhausted so I went to lay down in my new room (the spare room with the crappy futon). I was laying there catching up on some board reading and all of a sudden I started getting these sharp pains in my cervix area. Not really the normal stretching cramps I've been getting. So I call my OB office and to my surprise some one answered. ML (my midwife) wasn't there, but the receptionist got her on the line and called me back and patched me through. I couldn't believe it, my old Dr. I would have just had to wait til morning! So anyway, I explain the feeling and that I can't tell if my cm has a brownish tint or if it's just a really dark yellow. She says "I want you to go to the ER and have them do an u/s just to be safe." On the one hand I was relieved that she is so proactive, on the other hand hearing her say go to the ER scared the crap out of me.

So I called my mom and we headed to the ER. I was pretty impressed there with how quickly they got me in. No waiting until I was in the room. And then I didn't have to wait long before the tech came in to do the u/s. All I can say is it was amazing! My little one had a nice hb of 156 bpm. The tech said that was good even though it's lower than the previous ones because of being farther along. s/he was moving around so much it was hard for the tech to get some measurements, but that was fine with me cause it meant I got to watch longer. The tech was great, she pointed out everything, arms, legs, heart, kidneys, bladder, everything. And she even tried to find the sex, but Peanut had it's legs closed. And she said it'd be nothing but a guess anyway. The doctor on duty said that he couldn't see any signs of a problem, but that the placenta is growing very close to the cervix and the ML will want to keep an eye on that. He didn't really explain anything more on that so I'm guess it just means that if it gets too close or grows over I'll need a c-section. I hope not, but I'll have to deal if I do. With that he discharged me with a diagnosis of a threatened miscarriage after reassuring me that it's just for safety measures and he thinks everything is fine. He said most likely the pain was caused by the baby pushing on the cervix and if it's starting now I will probably get all through the pregnancy like his wife. So yeah, more scary pain to come!

So here I am today, tired and waiting to call ML to set up an appointment.

PS - Sorry I didn't even think about taking a pic of my hair. I'll do that tomorrow

S.H.I.T.

I can't believe it's already Thursday. It seems like this week has gone by pretty fast. Which is great! Now lets hope that next week goes by even faster. I hate the 1ww. The first week normally goes by pretty fast and I don't even think about testing because we all know it's just way to early. Most the time I don't even make up symptoms in the first week. But last night getting out of the shower I found myself thinking, "I'm not testing at all this month. If AF hasn't arrived by the 26th, then maybe I'll think about it. She should be here any time from the 21st to the 24th. Yes, my LP has ranged from 11 to 15 days since my m/c. So anyway, the fact that I'm already thinking about not testing means I will probably test around 10 dpo. I won't test sooner than that cause I think it's pointless. Strange thing, my gums bled a little bit this morning when I was brushing, but I'm not thinking anything of it cause I very well could have just been brushing too hard. They bleed half the time when I floss anyway. I also have a lower back ache, but with me that could be nothing too. Don't even know why I brought that stuff up, I'm sure it's nothing!

In other news, I'm once again trying to quit smoking. Seems to be a monthly goal. By the time AF arrives, I'm so depressed and stressed out that I lose all self control. Plus I start drinking again then. If I haven't kicked the habit yet again by the time I see the Dr. next month I will ask him for help, again.

Also health related, I'm starting to eat healthier again. Yesterday wasn't my best example, but I'm doing good so far today (yeah I know it's early). For breakfast, instead of having my coffee, which was fat and caffeine free, I'm having a Smoothie made from the weight watchers smoothies with added banana and raspberries. I also have watermelon. For a snack I have some of those Ritz toasted Chips and for lunch I have about 6oz of pork tenderloin with veggies. YUM! I've also been good about working out. It's only been for about a half hour, but that's a half hour more than what I was doing.

Well I think I've rambled on enough...