A Little of This and That

The end to a miserable day:

My miserable Tuesday didn't end much better.  I was feeling ok when I got home, but I was tired and my stomach was off.  Lillian was slightly miserable too so B told us to go in the bedroom where it was cooler and watch a movie.  I certainly didn't object.  He went out to do some yard work.  In a half hours time Lilli decided she had to go to the bathroom 3 times.  While normally this would make me ecstatic because she peed, pooped and peed again on the potty, this wasn't the case.  Every time I had to get I started feeling increasingly sick.  B came in just in time.  I was laying on the bed and just couldn't move, if I did the only place I was going was to the bathroom to lose whatever may have been in my stomach.  B could tell I was miserable and helped Lilli with whatever it was she needed.  I ended up passing out around 6 or 6:30.  I remember being woke up around 7:30 for something and then again at 9.  Neither time did I have any trouble falling back asleep and didn't wake up again until my alarm went off at 4!  Apparently I really needed the sleep!

Just Another Day:
Yesterday pretty much did end up being just another day.  My appointment got canceled because my MW had to get to the hospital to deliver a baby.  While I realize at a lot of practices this wouldn't happen because there is always some one to take over their patients.  My office though only consists of my midwife and the OB she works with, and the nurses of course.  Also this rarely happens, maybe 3 times since I started going there in Sept of '08.  And they typically call to reschedule before you get to the office.  Yesterday it just so happened that she got the call just before my appt though and the girl was at 9, almost 10.  While I know some people would have thrown a fit (I've heard stories from the receptionist) I don't mind.  I remember my nurse waiting until I was at 10 to even call and then wouldn't let me do anything until the OB got there.  That was the longest most horrible pain of my life and the only time during my whole labor that I asked for something for the pain.    Not to mention the only time during my 24 hours of labor that I was even remotely rude.  I believe after the 3rd contraction I was told to not push through my words were "Where the f*ck is she, her office is only 2 F*cking blocks away!" And yes I knew she was at the office cause when I was only 8cm the hour before they told me she was there.  Alas, no appt yesterday, it was rescheduled for Monday afternoon.  I did weigh myself though and I'm still only up 5lbs, so I'm happy with that, should me based on MW scale I haven't gained anything.

Eh, I'm done for today, that's enough rambling.  Tomorrow's post is most likely going to be about biting, I bet you can't wait!

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Taking Chances

I'm not a big risk taker, I like having a good idea about how things are going to.  Saturday we have a golf tournament we have signed up and paid for.  We are playing in this with another couple.  When B signed us up he said he would get some one else to golf for me if I didn't think I was going to be able to.  Well apparently he only had 1 person in mind to ask.  During this past week, that friendship has fizzled.  Along with the friendship, so has my stomach.  I was doing great for a few days, but for the last couple I'm feeling sick again.  We both really want me to golf in this tournament, but we also don't want me (or anyone else) to be miserable all day.  B keeps telling me he needs to know, but really, how am I supposed to know how I'm going to be feeling in 3 days?  Do I just take the chance that I will feel ok again, or do I have him find someone else to golf and just give it up?  I'm gonna hate missing out if I feel fine, not to mention feel bad ditching the other wife, but is it worth risking having a horrible time because I feel like crap?

What would you do?

8 Weeks and a Pill

8 Weeks!!! I can't believe I've made it 8 Weeks!!!

Before anyone worries, the pill I'm speaking of doesn't exist. It's a pill I wish existed, one I could give to my loving husband that thinks he understands what it's like to be 8 weeks pregnant. He tries to sympathize, but really he doesn't get it. I understand that he works a physical job on a roof all day and that it's tiring and miserable, it in no way means that he can come close to understanding what it's like to sit at a desk all day trying to make yourself not throw up. Or trying to ignore the horrible acid in your stomach that feels like it's eating away at itself, and the only thing that makes it feel better is to eat any carbs you can get, but you can't because gaining 50lbs is NOT an option! I wish he could feel how I feel, even doing what I do, for just one day. Maybe then he would understand why last night I went to bed crying because even though I told him Lillian spilled Freezie.Pop juice on our bed and I needed to change the sheets when they came out of the dryer, he went to bed anyway ignoring that I was going to have to sleep in that sticky mess. Or that he left me alone to deal with our 27 month old daughter who wouldn't even close her eyes to try and fall asleep for an hour and a half. Who I eventually just left to her own devices in her crib because I could no longer sit there with my stomach turning and my head bobbing. And maybe then he would understand why I get up at 4 and skip my much needed work out because it's the only time of day I feel well enough to get some house work done.

Oops, I wasn't going to go into that rant, but oh well, I did and it is after all the truth. Happy Birthday Babe, I really do love you!

On to the 8 week update!

Stats:
Weight: +3.8lb (damn carbs are killing me)
Next Appt: Aug 3 (dating ultrasound!)

This is what a 3D ultrasound should show at 8 weeks. I'm actually guessing at my ultrasound next week the baby will measure around 9 weeks 1 day, rather than a little under 9 weeks.

According to Baby.Center, this is what's new this week:
Webbed fingers and toes are poking out from your baby's hands and feet, his eyelids practically cover his eyes, breathing tubes extend from his throat to the branches of his developing lungs, and his "tail" is just about gone. In his brain, nerve cells are branching out to connect with one another, forming primitive neural pathways. You may be daydreaming about your baby as one sex or the other, but the external genitals still haven't developed enough to reveal whether you're having a boy or a girl. Either way, your baby — about the size of a kidney bean — is constantly moving and shifting, though you still can't feel it.

Now that I'm 8 weeks and feeling like shit, I mean confident, I'm trying to accept that I need to just embrace the pregnant look, even if people who ask can't believe I'm only 8 weeks. Really what choice do I have???

Back to Reality

Going back to work after a weeks vacation, no matter what you did, pretty much sucks. I even had a girl tell me I looked tired today. Yes, of course I'm tired. Not that I slept any more over vacation or that my days were relaxing, but it wasn't work and work just makes me tired. Not to mention, I'm growing a baby :-)

I have decided to leave my vents about this vacation off of my blog because let's face it, when you don't normally spend 24/7 with a person and then you do for a week, things are sure to get a little rocky at some point. It mostly had to do with maintaining the same roles we have at home, even though we weren't at home. I don't think it's right and he doesn't notice. No matter though, overall it was a wonder vacation and I was sad to see it end.

We spent Tuesday through Friday in Old.Forge, NY. I just love the town. I don't think B loves it as much as I do, but he does understand the connection I have to it since growing up we went there every year for a good 10 years anyway. Most of the shops are still there, the restaurants, the arcades and of course the water park, Enchanted.Forest!

We stayed in these cute little cabins that had a double bed and bunk beds. Lillian did pretty well on the bottom bunk the first night, but fell off several times the 2nd night. So on the third night she slept with me on the double bed and B slept in the bunk. She had so much fun at the park and at the cabin. I have so many pictures I could share, but I'm to manage to only pick a few.

I forgot to mention, when they say be aware of the bears and keep all food inside in the Adirondacks, they mean it! Yes that is a small black bear at a neighboring cabin.

Wednesday afternoon we did the dry rides and Storybook Lane at the park.

Eating the candy house from Hansel and Gretel.

Driving the car. She wanted to ride this over and over again.

On the Carousel. She had to ride once with Daddy and then with mommy. The whole time saying "Up and Down", my smarty pants!

Thursday we went and did the water rides! I wish I could have taken more pictures, but it's kind of hard when you are in the water with her!

Riding with mommy on the "Lazy River" We did this several times.

Mommy let her play in the dirt to her hearts content on the last night.

Friday morning we headed home, did some wash, picked some veggies from the garden, then headed off in the opposite direction to stay with B's mom at a cabin her friends rented. Well, we left before actually getting a hold of her because she's never away from her phone for long. We kept trying and trying to call her, but finally realized we were going to have to turn around and head home because she wasn't answering to give us the last bit of direction to get to the cabin. She finally called us around 9:30 feeling horrible. She and her friends went on a wine tour because she didn't think we were coming until Saturday. B had been really upset about wasting the gas and time, but I explained to him that it wasn't all her fault and we probably should have waited for her to answer her phone before we left. I was just glad she was ok as I had started to worry about her. Not to mention, I wasn't all that disappointed to get to sleep in my own bed.

Saturday we got up early and headed back to the cabin, it was beautiful and right on the lake. Lillian just loved swimming in the lake and playing with the rocks. She loved riding on the boat once she got used to it and even went for a little ride on the jetski. I think one of her favorite parts though was jumping off the back of the boat into the middle of the lake. I can't believe what a dare devil she is! We spent the night Saturday and Sunday was a cook out with lots of swimming and fun. Lilli was not happy when it was time to leave.

Swimming in the middle of lake!

First water gun fight. She has pretty good aim for only being 26 month!

Daddy let her go for one last swim. Now he knows why they make swim diapers!

Last night we got home and Lilli and I did some gardening and shucked our peas (which she loves raw) before going to bed. She was so happy when I told her she was going to the sitter's today. She missed her and the boys a lot!

I will say one good thing about coming back to work though is that I'm no longer out in that muggy heat. I felt sick probably 75% of the time we were gone just because the heat made me feel sick. Every time I walked out where the heat was I felt nauseous instantly. The only way I survived the heat at the park was thanks to the water. The after noon we walked around and did the dry stuff I was amazed I didn't get sick.

Does it help???

So here's a silly question for those who've been pregnant.

Does actually getting sick make you feel better?

While pregnant with Lillian I pretty much felt like I could be sick all day. Most times to the point that had I knelt down in front of the toilet, I would have gotten sick. Well the fun begins again. I HATE getting sick, I avoid it at all costs, to the point that I will hold off going to the bathroom because the thought of looking at a toilet makes me almost lose it, let alone actually walking in the bathroom.

It seems this time though the actual feeling of "I'm going to be sick" is lasting longer and not fading into a bearable "blah, my stomach is really upset" feeling. Like I sit at my desk and concentrate on not getting sick rather than anything else.

So my question is, does getting sick make you feel better? After you get sick does the feeling go away?

Also, any suggestions for curing the increased acid in my stomach would be greatly appreciated. I constantly have indigestion and that burning in my stomach that makes me nauseous.

Have a great weekend!!! My appt on Monday was changed to 8am so I will probably wait until after to blog the good news!

6 Weeks for the 3rd time!

That's right, this is my 3rd pregnancy that has made it to 6 weeks! Well actually according to the measurement from my ultrasound on Monday I'm 6 weeks and 2 days, but I am going to stick to my original due date (based on ovulation) until I have my dating scan on Aug. 3.

Still not much in the way of stats:
Weight: +1.8 lb
Next Appt: July 18

The weight besides being normal fluctuation for me in a matter of a week, is also most likely to do with my issues of expelling waste. In 4 short days (I'm trying to convince myself here, humor me) we will have a follow up ultrasound to make sure the heart rate is increasing.

As far as symptoms goes, I have them... Some times just the thought of something makes me want to run to the bathroom. Smells that I like I have been finding over powering and nauseating. Bloated, well just look at the photo below. And exhausted isn't even the word for how I feel when I get home at night!

Although I don't feel ready to be telling people I'm pregnant, I would rather have them thinking I'm pregnant rather than thinking, "wow, she lost that weight and gained it back." or "she's chubby/fat."


This is what's going on with the little Bean according to Baby.Center:

This week's major developments: The nose, mouth, and ears that you'll spend so much time kissing in eight months are beginning to take shape. If you could see into your uterus, you'd find an oversize head and dark spots where your baby's eyes and nostrils are starting to form. His emerging ears are marked by small depressions on the sides of the head, and his arms and legs by protruding buds. His heart is beating about 100 to 160 times a minute — almost twice as fast as yours — and blood is beginning to course through his body. His intestines are developing, and the bud of tissue that will give rise to his lungs has appeared. His pituitary gland is forming, as are the rest of his brain, muscles, and bones. Right now, your baby is a quarter of an inch long, about the size of a lentil.

The Binkies in the garbage didn't last very long. I found Lillian in the bathroom hiding with them in her mouth after digging them out. Thankfully there wasn't much in the way of garbage in the can. Just some paper stuff. I was way too tired to deal with the screaming and crying last night so B sanitized them and we decided that when we tell her about the baby we will see if she wants to give them to her little brother or sister. The first trimester when lack of energy is so high, is not the time to be fighting a strong willed toddler for her binkies! I really can't wait to tell her about the baby though, I think she will be very excited!

5 Weeks!

1 week down, 35 more to go!!!

Not much in the way of stats right now...

Weight: -.4lb

Next Dr appt: July 11 (only 4 more days!)

Last night I was feeling a bit worried because I never felt sick at all yesterday. Although I did feel bloated every time I ate something (which isn't much before I feel stuffed), it isn't quite as reassuring as the nausea. My little bean must have heard my thoughts though because I was up 4 times to go to the bathroom last night and several times this morning I'm pretty sure if I had been in front of a toilet I would have been sick.

I'm really not sure how long I will be able to keep this pregnancy a secret. Even though I'm just extremely bloated, I look like I have a belly already...

What's going on with Bean this week according to Baby.Center:

Deep in your uterus your embryo is growing at a furious pace. At this point, he's about the size of a sesame seed, and he looks more like a tiny tadpole than a human. He's now made up of three layers — the ectoderm, the mesoderm, and the endoderm — which will later form all of his organs and tissues.
The neural tube — from which your baby's brain, spinal cord, nerves, and backbone will sprout — is starting to develop in the top layer, called the ectoderm. This layer will also give rise to his skin, hair, nails, mammary and sweat glands, and tooth enamel.
His heart and circulatory system begin to form in the middle layer, or mesoderm. (This week, in fact, his tiny heart begins to divide into chambers and beat and pump blood.) The mesoderm will also form your baby's muscles, cartilage, bone, and subcutaneous (under skin) tissue.
The third layer, or endoderm, will house his lungs, intestines, and rudimentary urinary system, as well as his thyroid, liver, and pancreas. In the meantime, the primitive placenta and umbilical cord, which deliver nourishment and oxygen to your baby, are already on the job.

Passing Time

That's what I'm trying to do, pass the time. I was very happy to have a long holiday weekend this week and wish it could have been longer.

Saturday was my sister's 21st birthday and party. She rented out part of a local bar that gives drink specials and a DJ for 3 hours. Obviously my original plan was to celebrate my little sister's 21st birthday to the fullest with her. But when I found out I was pregnant I figured the next best thing I could do was be the DD for everyone. The problem with this plan became very apparent quickly. No one would believe I was just being a nice sister and driving for her. Then when my family realized I was sick it was very obvious to them I must be pregnant. So pretty much all of our family knows now. It was a long night, but I managed to make it to 4am after several trips to the bar and then back to my mom's where my wonderful uncle made pizza and wings for everyone to enjoy.

Sunday I spent the day with the family up at my mom's camp. Lillian had fun bonding with her uncle's that she doesn't get to see often and I had fun catching up with everyone. My sister road home with me and we were watching fireworks as I drove, well that was a mistake because I missed my exit off the thruway and it took us on a 20 minute detour, resulting in me not getting to bed until about midnight.

On Monday it was another Family picnic with B's family. We decided to tell the family there as well since it really isn't much of a secret anymore. I felt horrible when I fell asleep for 2 hours with Lillian during the cookout, but I couldn't help it. The last two late nights had finally caught up with me.

I was so glad to have yesterday off too. I had so many things I wanted to do around the house, but instead decided to take Lillian on a shopping trip since I don't have time for that stuff during the week. It was great, I found clothes for both of us and shoes for B. Then I took Lillian to her first movie. She was in awe at the screen and how big it was and that I was letting her eat popcorn while she watched the movie and she didn't have to be at her table.

Now today I am back to work and wishing time would go by faster. I can't wait for the week to be over and then for Monday to be here so I can have my appt. I really want to know that there is a heart beating in my belly. I'm extremely bloated every time I eat, have indigestion a lot and feel sick in the night, but I need confirmation for my brain.

The Ups and Downs

Yes, I think that roller coaster is shaped about like the emotional one I'm riding is. After my post yesterday I started to feel guilty, or something. I started to feel like, maybe I should be more worried, maybe I'm kidding myself. While I still feel rather confident that this pregnancy is going to go to 37 weeks, I'm paying way too much attention to what I am or am not feeling.

After my post yesterday I cramped most of the morning. This had me scared. It was like the bake breaking, just kill me now cramps I get with AF, but it was there and it was constant. Now did I maybe manifest these cramps because all of a sudden I was doubting my positive feeling? Possibly. I mean come on now, I've had no problem manifesting pregnancy symptoms in the past.

During the day I had decided I was going to tell my grandparents that I was pregnant. They live in NC (14 hours from me) and we only see them a few times a year. This was something I was very excited to tell them in person rather than a card and a phone call like last time. But by the time the after noon arrived I was thinking, but if something goes wrong I will have to tell them and I don't want to have to tell them something like that like I did before. But I sucked it up and told them anyway. It made me realize besides you Internets how few people really know what B and I have been going through for the last year and a half.

My grandmother said to me "Someone was just asking me the other day when I thought you would have another one. I told them I didn't know. Maybe you liked the age difference between you and your sister (7 years) and you were waiting." I told her "No, we've actually been trying for a year and a half." And she just kind of looked at me like "Oh". She did understand though why we aren't really telling people, or Lillian.

I'm so excited to tell Lillian because she has been around enough pregnancies and is old enough now to understand that when a girl has a baby in her belly, eventually there is a new baby to play with. And she LOVES new babies.

As for this very moment, I'm confident. It may have something to do with nausea/indigestion I've had for 3 hours now. I'm not complaining though, I'll take whatever symptoms I can get for the next 8 weeks and more.

And I want to leave you with this. Child Bearing Hips posted this link on her blog and I think it is worth sharing. When some one goes through a rough time in life, the most important thing is to be there for them. You may not know what to say or do, but the wrong thing is better than nothing.

I Resisted!

Yup that's right, I didn't test this morning. Although I did think about it, I was just too tired and had to go too bad to look for an HPT. I won't lie, part of me wishes I had tested because I hate the feeling that anything I feel all day could be real or all in my head. According to Fertility Friend, tomorrow is the last day of my average LP. I actually think it is today because I'm pretty sure I O'd the night before my temp rise. Either way, I'd really like to wait it out until Thursday, I just don't know if that is going to happen.

I'm definitely having IPS (Imaginary Pregnancy Symptoms). Passing nausea, slight cramping, and my bbs are itchy. Yeah I know sounds weird, but they are. On the other hand, signs of AF, break out on face, slight cramping. I'm really trying not to get my hopes up.

If you would like to vote for Lillian in the Parent's Magazine Cover contest please click here. There's no signing up and it only takes a second. You can vote once a day from every computer/phone! Right now she's in 98, but I'm hoping with repeat voters we can get her up to the top.

25 Weeks...

Time is flying now!!! There is just so much to do and so little time. Last night when I got home I made my grocery list and after throwing a fit because B was still out ice fishing (even though it was after dark) instead of home with me to go grocery shopping and to dinner. I decided that I wasn't going any where because it was going to be too late by the time I got home. So I started cleaning out my dressers and getting rid of clothes. I have one small 4 drawer dresser that basically has my summer clothes in it and I have one huge dresser with 5 drawers (hand made by grandpa!) plus the closet in Lillian's room full of clothes. And of course right now I only wear the clothes in one drawer and hanging on the curtain rod on the outside of the closet. Well, I completely emptied the smaller dresser and put a HUGE dent in the crap that was in the large dresser. I even got half way through the closet before my back insisted it was time to stop. I have to say it wasn't as hard as I thought it would be given that I can't wear most of it right now. I basically made 4 piles, stuff that I would still buy at the store so it's going in a bin to look at again after Lillian's born, stuff I wouldn't buy so it's going to the Salvation Army, stuff that's too stained or has holes to be thrown away and stuff that I wear (I guess you didn't need to know all that, but there you have it).

I have to say I'm very worried about my weight gain. I gain another 4lbs this week and I find it disgusting. I just don't know what I'm doing differently than I was the weeks where I didn't gain anything. I don't think a few hours of walking one a week makes a 4lb difference. I don't know if I should call the doc or not cause my books say if you gain more than 4lbs in a week you should call. So I'm giving it one more week. I sent B to the grocery store this morning with a bunch of healthy things on it to see if that works. But based on the last few months I don't really think it's going to. I just know I have to do something.

My lower legs are still swelling and I'm slowly losing my ankles. This is to be expected, but I thought it would come later, oh well. I also have a perspiration problem at night. I wake 3 or 5 times to go to the bathroom and I've soaked with sweat. I mean SOAKED, like my clothes and everything. But I go to bed at a normal temp and when I wake up in the morning I'm a normal temp. I just don't get it. I even tried sleeping with just my undies on the other night and it didn't work. Freezing when I went to bed and freezing when I woke up in the morning, but sweat all night. Anyone else experience this?

All in all I actually can't complain, well I can complain, but don't really want to. I wanted this so bad and it's all totally worth it!!! I hope the above doesn't sound like complaining, cause I'm not, just giving the facts of what's going on.

I wish all my infertile friends the best of luck! Especially Dawn, who goes for her 3rd retrieval today!

And Here's what you've been waiting for (or not)...

Not much change from last week except my uterus may be a little higher, or is that the 4lbs I gained? Don't mind the miserable face, I just came in from the 0 degree weather!

Less than 200

Check out my ticker, less than 200 days now! Still seems like forever though. I'm still praying for the day when I feel better. I think it's slowly getting better when I look back on the days, but during the day it doesn't seem it so much. Not to mention the headaches that are starting.

I went to the mall last night I broke down and bought my first pair of maternity pants and a couple sweaters. Now first let me say that the jeans I tried on were horrible. They made my ass look huge. Every pair I tried on were boot cut, and well with my body shape boot cut just doesn't cut it. Not to mention they were all too short. Apparently in order to get them in longs I have to be 2 sizes smaller! On the plus size, I did find a pair of black pants and they are sooo comfy! I'm wondering why I waited this long to get them. I think the beginning of next week I'm going to go to a thrift store and see what I can find. I hate to spend this much $ on new clothes I won't be wearing long.


On to my 4 hour pizza drive, I know you've all been holding your breathe just waiting to hear it. So after B leaving me home alone Saturday he promised me we would go to the Iron Kettle Farm on Sunday. So after doing some running around to get some extra $ to go, we take off. It was a beautiful sunny day and warm. He tells me the place is just out side of Ithaca. OK, not too far of a drive. So we drive and we turn onto 96 and we drive some more. Well finally we'd been driving for like an hour and I said "I thought this place was just outside of Ithaca?" He says, that's what I thought too. Well about a half hour later I'm starting to get hungry (not a good thing) so I get out our map. We'd been driving in the wrong direction for an hour. But I knew there was another town with food shops in it less than a half hour away. So we continued until we got to Waterloo. Then, being that we were already halfway around Cayuga Lake, we decided to just go the rest of the way around.

So there you have it, we had a 4 hour drive and the only thing we did was stop and get pizza! We had fun though. It was nice to have him to myself for all that time. Oh and it was fun to tell his buddy who's living with us what he did.

New Leaf and House Guests

Well not much going on here. I know it's been a few days, I've been extremely tired and not feeling so hot in general. Also, after my review at work last week I decided it's time to turn over a new leaf here at work. I'm trying to spend less time on the internet which means less blogging. Hopefully soon my energy will return though and I'll be able to get on more from home. As of right now when I get home from work I spend a half hour or so chatting with B and then it's off to the bedroom. Last night I could barely function. I was asleep by 7 and slept all the way til 5:15 this morning. I'm feeling a little less tired today though, for the time being.

We also have some house guests right now. A guy that works with B, and is also his friend, we'll call him M, was kicked out of the place he was sharing with another buddy (the other guy thought he was sleeping with his girlfriend or something off the wall like that). Now I know he wasn't sleeping with the girl cause he has a girlfriend, D, who is also now staying with us, that he loves very much. Anyway, they were staying at his dad's camp, but now that it's getting down into the 30s at night, it's a little cold to be there without heat. So we have offered for them to stay on the futon in out basement until they can find a place. It actually isn't that bad, and I know D loves it cause she now gets to sleep in in the morning cause I take them both to work. The only hard part is getting laundry done. I like to respect their privacy and not walk downstairs when they are home, but to get to the washing machine I have to go through their room. Not a big deal when they aren't there, but I hate chancing they are taking a nap or something.

Anyway, that's what's going on with me, nothing too exciting. I have a Dr.'s appointment on Thursday.

Low On Fuel

That's the way I'm feeling. Yesterday I was on my way to work and drove right past. That was when I decided I needed to go home. I had woken up and opted out of the shower for a little extra sleep. I wore my black stretch pants (pajamas) with a nice top. All I wanted was to be comfy. When I got back home I crawled directly into bed and slept for 3 hours straight. When I woke up at 10 I decided it wasn't time to get up yet and slept for another hour. At 11 I made myself get out of bed and go to work as much as I didn't want to.

My boss was actually impressed that I made it in and I ended up having a rather productive afternoon. Which never would have happened if I hadn't gone home to sleep. After work I went to the grocery store because we were out of everything. This apparently was a terrible idea. As I was in the checkout line I became extremely ill feeling. Weak and sweaty feeling, shortness of breathe, you know everything you feel right before you run to the bathroom praying it isn't in use. I managed to make it outside and the fresh air helped. I was really glad to have gotten some cheese curds, I ate some on the way home. This also helped, but when I got home I went inside and told B he needed to bring the groceries in (he normally does anyway) and this time he put them away without me even having to ask. I spent most of the rest of the night laying in bed wondering why I was dumb enough to go grocery shopping. I took a zofran, but it didn't seem to do much good. Although the lemonade B got me seemed to help some until I started burping.

This morning I woke up at 3:30 with a terrible headache and feeling sick. And of course I didn't fall back asleep until my alarm started going off. I LOVE Snooze!!! I'm thinking I may only work a half day today, but we'll see.

Thanks so much for all the comments on my 1st ultrasound. It was so great. And for the compliments on my new header. Now all I need to do if figure out how to make it 3 columns and I'll be happy.

Blah

Well I'm feeling like crap. Better today than yesterday though. And it's such a good sign, when I get down about it, I just think of how well peanut must be doing. Once again I ended up not staying at work yesterday. I say not staying because this time I actually drove there. I almost pulled over on the way, but I didn't. I went to get my bags out of the back seat and started gaging. That's when I said "Nope, you're going home." The women I share the bathroom with are extremely nosey and love to gossip, I'm not ready for them to hear me yacking yet. Well, I may never be ready for that to tell you the truth. So I went home and spent the day in bed loving my misery. OK, I won't lie, there were times that I cried wishing it would just end, but in the end, I wouldn't have it any other way.

Finding foods to eat currently is a chore. Nothing settles and nothing ever sounds good. The only thing that sounded good yesterday was Taco Soup, but B didn't get home until late so I couldn't have it. See I have a problem with raw meat, or cooking anything for that matter. Raw meat sends me gaging and preparing anything else just makes me not want to eat. I did manage to make a PB&J yesterday though.

I suppose I better get some stuff done today. Especially being that I wasn't here yesterday and I'll be out for a few hours on Friday.

7 Weeks

Well I made it through yesterday! Yesterday was the day I started spotting with my first pregnancy and the only time I've seen any spotting this time is when I brush my teeth or blow my nose. This makes me very happy! I can't believe my 8 wk appointment is only a week away. And hubby told me last night that he should be able to be there, this also makes me very happy.

I mad some purchases yesterday. First off I bought 4 Bella bands. Well they aren't the name brand, they're off eBay, but I got them all for about $50 rather than maybe two for that price. I got regular ones in black, white and brown. Then I got a lace trim one in black. This should help me get through the next couple of months. I also broke down and bought B a video take. He didn't want to read the book so I bought him this. Of course I can't wait to watch it either.

And last, but certainly not least, I rented a doppler. I can't wait for it to get here. There is a chance that it will working before the 10 week mark. I asked B what he thought about it and he asked why I hadn't ordered yet. I was so happy he was ok with spending the money on it!

Yesterday B did ask if we could go to his friend's house so he could shoot his bow, but when I told him I didn't want to he was fine with that. We watched TV together for a little while and ate dinner. But then B fell asleep, once again leaving me feeling lonely. Especially when he didn't come to the bedroom when I was ready for bed at 8. I understand that he may not have been ready for bed, but I was up for another hour and there was no reason he couldn't have watched TV and played poker in the bedroom. He did apologize for it this morning though. I guess it made me feel better.

Today has been rough. I've felt sick all morning to the point of the thought of putting something in my mouth makes me gag. I wanted to leave work after my important meeting this morning, but I was reminded that I have to go to a training session today. It's mandatory and I've forgotten about all the other sessions this week so now I have to go this afternoon.

Tonight my sister is coming home from school for the weekend so we're taking her to dinner. It should be fun, I haven't seen her since I found out I was pregnant!

Hope everyone has a good weekend!

6 Weeks!!!

I can't believe how fast this last week went by. I'm sure it's mostly because of the holiday and then having the business trip.

My trip was ok, besides trying to explain why I was constantly going to the bathroom without telling them I'm pregnant or grossing them out. Finally I just said, well I never know when I'll be able to go again so I always make sure I go when I can. Nothing too exciting though. Oh except some of you may appreciate this. I got to see Arnold Palmer tee off at his own country club. I like golf and B watches it some times so it was pretty exciting to me.

In other news, B did read a few emails that I sent him and apparently they are working cause he seems to be way more understanding today, either that or he is pampering me because he missed me. Our bed is being delivered today and he vacuumed the room and cleaned the nightstands and everything. I was sure I was going to have to go in there and clean the stands and vacuum more when he was done taking the frame down, but nope, he even moved the stands to vacuum under them. Only a few more hours to go now!!!

Well I think that's pretty much it. I've been very nauseous lately and sometimes just reading about a food can make me want to be sick. I've been lucky so far, but I've been very close. You know the getting all sweaty and then feeling like you're really weak. I put my head between my legs and do some deep breathing and I seem to over come it, but I have a feeling that is only going to work for so long.

Now I just wait for the next week and a few days to go by. I think I'll feel better (emotionally) once I get past the day when I had my mc.

Happy Pregnancy

This is my goal! I am determined to be mostly happy throughout my pregnancy. I've heard and read in different places that the happier you are during your pregnancy, the more likely your child will have a cheery disposition. Whether this is true or medically proven doesn't really matter because being happy can't hurt, right?

On other pregnancy related things, I felt the worst I have at all this morning. I had all I could do not to run to the bathroom this morning. What helped was the fact that I knew B was using the toilet. Now that I've eaten I feel better for the time being. I also had my first craving this morning. I was making my bagel at work and while it was toasting I looked in the cooler and say Chocolate milk. Let me just say it was the best Chocolate milk I've ever had!!!

So yesterday I signed B up for the weekly emails from 3D pregnancy.com. I told him this way he only has a little to read once a week and he get a better understanding of what's going on with me and it gives Daddy tips for some weeks. His response was "Great, just remind me to check my email." A little frustrating, but whatever. I was proud of him for behaving himself last night while he was out bowling with the guys. It was the first night and he got home late so I was expecting him to be stumbling all over, but he was actually fine. I think he may be having sympathy symptoms. Heartburn last night and felt sick this morning. Yeah right, it was just the beer, but it's a nice thought.

Tomorrow I am leaving on a Business Trip. I'm not really all that thrilled about it. I think it's going to be a waste of time, but I guess that's not my decision to make. We are flying and I think it's a waste of time because we could drive there in less than 6 hours. But instead I have to drive an hour to the airport, sit there and hour cause you have to be early, fly and hour, have an hour delay before the next one hour flight and then we get there. So that's 5 hours right there. Not to mention I won't be getting home until 9:30 Friday night. Way to cut into my weekend!

On the good news, my new bed will be arriving the day after I get back!!! Only tonight in my old bed, and Friday night in our spare bed!!!

OK, I think that's enough rambling for now...

Exhaustion

That's how I started feeling last night and it's not subsiding. . .

I was so happy yesterday when I realized I was going to be able to leave work early. J (my friend coming to visit) hadn't sent me a message yet saying that she was leaving and that meant I was going to have 2 hours before she got here. I was going to be able to figure out what we were going to do and take a nap. But then on my way home I get a message saying she was only an hour away. I wanted to cry, there went my nap. I get home and B had picked up the kitchen, but failed to clean up the bathroom that was disgusting. So I start cleaning the bathroom and crying. I was exhausted and in severe need of rest, but I couldn't sleep while J was here. So B tells me to go take a nap while I can. I go lay down but can't stop crying. I was tired, all I wanted to do was sleep, but I had a friend driving two hours to visit me and I had no idea what we were going to do because my energy was so low and I was afraid she was going to have a terrible time.

I did manage to get a short nap before she got here. And we ended up going to visit my mom and family up at her camp. It was a great deal for them because it's an hour drive from my place and they had a DD. Some how I managed to make it til 2 in the morning before I had to go to bed.

In the night our dog woke me up at 3 to be let out and then at 7:30 B's friend called because he was bored. I couldn't fall back asleep so up I got. Around 9 J and her BF N got up. At 11 we went to lunch. On the way there I started to get that overwhelming feeling of exhaustion again. By the time we got back home I had no choice but to lay down. I slept for 2 hours I think, but woke up still feeling exhausted. I'm not sure if it is lack of sleep from all week or sleeping too long during my nap, but I just want to go to bed again and it's only 5.

In other news (which may be way too much, but I need advice) is that I'm having loose bowel movements. Is this normal or do you think I should call the doctor? It's weird cause it's not a lot when I go and it's only maybe twice a day after I eat, but I don't know if it's something to call the doctor about or not. I was constipated last time. What do you think?

I am feeling quite confident in this pregnancy again though. I'm so excited and can't wait for the weeks to keep ticking by, less than 3 weeks to my first appointment!

PS - I never thought I'd talk about my bathroom habits to the entire world!!!

Flip Flopping

That seems to be what I've been doing since last night. Between thinking things are going great to thinking something is wrong. I guess it started because last night I felt better than I had in a few weeks. I was able to eat, even though I couldn't decided on anything and just forced myself to pick, and I ate quite a bit. But I didn't have any indigestion or heartburn after, which I suppose could be from sitting up for so long after. But I guess what bothers me the most is that I am noticing no changes in my breasts. Some times I will get some pains in them, but they are never sore to the touch or anything, and they certainly aren't growing. I guess this bothers me the most because they didn't last time either. I suppose it could be too early, but the WTE book says typically a full cup size in the first month. I guess I'm just not sure what they consider the first month to be. 4 week gestation maybe? They don't really say. One other thing that is probably way too much information is that my bowels have been kinda loose the last two days, when I was kinda constipated before. Could this just be the lack of food and the increase in water?

On the other hand, my numbers are quite good I guess (based on dr.), I still feel sick when I wake up in the night, I have that nasty taste in my mouth and I have a stretching feeling in my nether regions (which I can understand cause I can believe how swollen looking it is). I also have that heavy bloated feeling in my whole stomach. Oh and did I mention emotional?

Last night the tiredness hit me around 6:30 or 7. I was texting my best friend back and forth and all of a sudden I didn't even want to pick up my phone let alone press buttons. At 8 I went and brushed the teeth and used that terrible yeast infection cream. By 9 I was asleep. Problem was I woke up for the 3rd time at 11:45. I just laid there and cried. Twice was because B elbowed me in the back and the other time I just woke up. It's terrible, all I want is a good nights sleep. Luckily for the first time in a week, I got 4 straight hours of sleep after that. Tonight after work I will be going to look at new mattresses. There is no way we are going to continue sleeping in that bed if my belly is going to get bigger!

So here I sit, willing Peanut to grow and wishing I could sleep until September 19th.