Monday, January 12, 2009

What a Weekend

Well this was an up and down weekend for me. I had a hard time with my emotions, ranging from being jealous of B to not knowing why I was crying! It's very frustrating. I also had my moments of frustration and feeling good about myself. This rollercoaster is probaby only going to get worse, but I'm ready to get off.

Saturday morning I got mad at B (without him even being there or me having proof) because of the possibility that he did something that would really hurt my feelings, yup, made me cry while he was sleeping!

Then he made me cry again (for something that isn't his fault) when he got up. He wanted to sledding with his buddy and the kids, but I was upset 1) because I love sledding, but can't go because of my current state (it's dangerous) and 2) can't go even if it wasn't dangerous because I have to clean out the basement so we can get working on Lillian's room. He was talking about going and I just started crying becaue I didn't want to be stuck home by myself cleaning while he was out having fun. He said I didn't have to clean, we could do whatever I wanted cause I work all week and deserve to have fun too, but the problem is that I have no other time to get the cleaning crap out of the way. I'm way too tired when I get home at night.

So after getting all the Christmas stuff taken care of I proceeded to the basement where I went through 4 bug totes of crap and emptied 2 of them! Things were much better in the evening when we went to my mom's for dinner and to watch the Syracuse game. I was happy go lucky and we had a lot of laughs!

But then again Sunday morning I was all tears again. And I really don't know why. I did manage to get myself to work on cleaning out more totes and I am now down to just one tote and some old boxes left! I'm so excited to get this crap out of my house!!!

But frustration set in when B and I got in a little tiff about the heat setting in the apartment. He's sitting there in sweats and a Tshirt and wants to turn the heat up cause he's cold so I told him to put on a sweatshirt. Especially being I was wearing the same thing and was hot. He got mad. So I took a nice warm bath to try and relax, and figured why I'm in here why not shave, well that way a bad idea. Apparently I can no longer do this on my own! But the rest of my shower was ok. As always after I shower I went into the bedroom to put on my coco butter. Not only are my lower legs swollen, but it has become very tiring to put lotion on them. Again this made me cry out of pure frustration!

We then went to my MIL's and things were fine. We had fun and we joked and laughed and the rest of the night was fine. But I find myself trying to fight the exhaustion at night and I don't think it's good, but I hate going to bed alone. It's not really fair of me to ask B to go to bed early though just because I'm tired. UGH.

I hope this week is better!

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