Monday, August 31, 2009
Every time we have to make a change with Lillian I start having anxiety attacks. I dropped her off at the new sitter this morning and leaving was so hard. Not because I don't think she will be well taken care of, or that I don't think the girl can handle it or anything like that. I drove away thinking, did I tell her everything? Did I remember to tell her about the frozen binkies? Did I tell her she likes to sleep on her belly or that she likes to have her Pooh when she sleeps? Did I remember to tell her that the NUK bottles some times take her longer to eat? Stuff like that.
And I always feel horrible because I can't bring myself to take her out of her seat in the morning to hug and kiss her goodbye. I'm affraid if I picked her up again I wouldn't let go.
So that brings me to the yearly camping trip our friends have. We call it "Adult Weekend" This is because everyone finds a sitter for the kids and camp out and drink and have a blast. This was actually the weekend that Lillian was conceived! Anyway, we normally only go for one night because of the dogs. Well I don't know if I want to go at all this year. I get anxious just thinking about leaving Lillian for the night. Like right now there is this feeling in the pit of my stomach. I mean I know that she will be fine, I mean my om is going to take care of her and well I'm here aren't I? My problem is that I get so little time with her that I hate to leave her with some one else when I don't have to. On the other hand, I know that it's ok to get away some times and I know that if I don't go I will regret it because either way B is going and I can't blame him.
Will I ever feel like I spend enough time with her?
On the plus side she is getting so smart, I'm going to try and load a video of her learning out to press the buttons on her exersaucer.
Friday, August 28, 2009
Well guess what, it is a glorious day! No girl left behind in our group! It took 2 years, but we are all now either mommies or pregnant.
Murgdan, I wish you the happiest and healthiest 9 months and more. Oh yeah and a Happy Belated Birthday to the one who shall not be blogged about.Oh yeah, PS, we have a sitter until at least Feb. I'm so happy today is Lillian's last day at Nana's!
Thursday, August 27, 2009
The first 5 people to respond to this blog will get something made especially for them, by me, *who wouldn't want that?!
So here's the "games" mumbo jumbo:
- I have one year to get you your special gift - It really shouldn't take that long**
- What I make you will be one of a kind***
- You won't know what it is until it arrives at your doorstep****
- You have to repost this on your blog and do the same for the first 5 responses to you
*there is no guarantee that you will like what I send you, ,
**with me hopefully moving in the next month or so I'm not making any promises on a quick turn around, but it won't be a year
***unless I like it so much I later make one for myself too
**** At this point I have no idea what it is either!
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Length: 25 inches (approximately 1.5 in from last month, 85%)
Weight: 14lbs 12oz (up 2lb 9oz from last month, 78%)
Lillian is learning and improving new skills every day.
- She can now roll from her belly to her back, but only when she wants to, and she's trying hard to go from her back to her belly
- She can now put her binkie in her mouth by herself (as long as its the right way in her hand), but finds it easier to just grab it with her mouth whenever possible.
- She is really improving her eye hand coordination and grabbing on to things quite well.
- She lets me know when she's ready to be put in her crib at night. We read stories and then rock and when she's ready she turns to me, whines a little and tries to stretch out, that's when it's time to be laid down.
- She now enjoys the shower head in the tub, she actually grabs for the running water.
- She went swimming for the first time this month
- And she started teething this month, but nothing has popped through yet.
I really can't believe we are a quarter of the way through her first year of life. She still has very little interest in sitting, but loves to stand and will make sure you know it. At her appointment the pediatrician said it is ok to start her on cereal once a day, but I'm not sure I'm ready for that yet. She certainly isn't starving on just the breast milk so I think we will wait a little longer for the cereals.
Here are a few shots of her beautiful smile that I caught on Sunday, which I will blog more about at a later date...
PS~ Let me know what you think of the new design and if the text is hard to read or not.
Friday, August 21, 2009
Thursday, August 20, 2009
We watch the Bee movie last night and though I can't stand the sound of Jerry Seinfeld's voice it was a pretty cute movie, and Lillian loved all the yellow and black. I'm a little worried we are getting back into the habit of fall asleep on mommy's boob again so we're going to have to work on that tonight.
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Swimming at Grandma's
Trying to stay cool with daddy
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Check out the bow mommy made for me!
My little tomboyAnd a few more of my favorite portraits...
Monday, August 17, 2009
Friday, August 14, 2009
Can you believe it was her nap time?
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Me: You that's something we need to discuss
B: discuss what? how's your day going
Me: bowling, I feel antsy
B: well bowling starts in a month and we already have to find 1 guy so its kinda screwed up, y antsy?
Me: because we need to talk about stuff like bowling and money and other recreations
B:well I don't know
Me: don't know what?
B: about the bowling thing. the $ I save from not smoking should be enough to cover that
Me: Its not about $ completely and I haven't been giving you $ for smokes (I get all the $ then just give him what he needs and pay the bills)
Gee and he wonders why I'm antsy.
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
Monday, August 10, 2009
As for me, it's going to be a busy day, lots of things to get done. First and most importantly is to call the pediatrician. My poor little girl hasn't had a bowel movement in a week now. I wasn't really paying attention since her normal had become every two days, but when she got fussy last night and started eating less more often I thought about it and her last messy diaper was last Sunday. No wonder the poor girl is uncomfortable. I feel so bad for her, but she's such a wonderful baby that she's all smiles unless she gets in a position that makes her uncomfortable.
Talked to the pediatrician's nurse and he said to give her 4 Tbls prune juice in 4oz breast milk 4 times today. And to coninue tomorrow if she still hasn't gone. If she has gone back down to 3 Tbl in 3 bottles and then one less bottle every day until she doesn't get it any more. He also said that if she hasn't gone by tomorrow afternoon that they want to see her. So here's hoping it works!
**UPDATE ON UPDATE**
It worked!!! She didn't like it and Nana had to trick her by switching between bottles, but she's already had a bowel movement and is much happier!
**UPDATE ON UPDATE**
I got our portraits back from Penny's but I'm really upset because they didn't put the CD I paid for in the envelope. So now I have to call and complain about that! Also have to do other little things like call around looking for a sitter and paying the hospital bills from having my little angel!
Hope everyone has a wonderful Monday!
Not the greatest quality has I had to brighten it, but I just love her expression...
Friday, August 7, 2009
When it counts.... or
The Ponytail... or
A Working Moms Hygiene... or
Are You Serious?
First off thanks for all the wonderful comments over the last few days. I've been very irritated and it's been great to know that it's not just me being a spoiled bitch. And I am feeling a little better today.
Which brings me to title number 2... When It Counts...
I went home from work at 11 yesterday, but because I'm me I first stopped to get a Creamsicle Smoothie for my sore throat (and being a nice daughter I got one for my mom too) and I stopped to see my mom and signed my bank papers. I was feeling a little worse so I decided not to take them to the bank and stop at the Library like I originally planned though. I went home, pumped, ate and went to bed where I slept until 4 when B got home. He woke me up asked if I wanted him to get Lilly and then went and got her. I fed her laying down when they got home and then Daddy took her to the new house to walk around the woods and see if they could see signs of deer. I ordered a calzone and ice cream (2 pints cause I couldn't decided between Cookie dough and Peanut Butter Cup). Is it bad I ordered that Calzone just cause they deliver Ben and Jerry's? So I ate and pumped and went back to the bed. I was just dozing off again when they got home. My little girl was hungry so I fed her again and B told me they only walked around the yard because he was afraid there might be bugs in the woods and he didn't want her to get bit up. (Made mommy very happy!) So she ate and fell asleep. That's when I realized it was 8 and her bed time. I got her ready for bed, read to her and put her down, she was asleep by 8:15. I had some ice cream and NyQuil (no not together) and was passed out by 8:45 I'm feeling better this morning and I'm really happy that B stepped up some when it counted. I would have like him to wash the bottles and do the dishes, but I'm not gonna complain, we'll take baby steps. But me going to bed so early brings me to the next two titles...
The Ponytail and A Working Mom's Hygiene...
The ponytail has become a staple of my daily attire for so many reasons. First off it's easy to do and you don't even really need to brush your hair if you can get the outside to look flat. Two, it hides the fact that my hair is in desperate need of a cut. And lastly, but most importantly it hides my complete lack of personal hygiene. Yes it has been two days since I've had a shower and I feel gross, but guess what I ran out of time yet again this morning. Don't get me wrong I don't stink or anything, my hair just looks gross and I feel like a dirt bag. But hey I've washed my face cause I'd rather just look like a normal dirt bag than a pubescent dirt bag... I really can't wait for tonight when I can stay up later to shower because I don't have to worry about getting up in the morning. My daughter is wonderful and sleeps in on the weekends too! So yup, I'm a dirt bag today and proud of it! My daughter is clean and healthy and totally worth it!
Are You Serious???
All I can say is I've been through the frustration of having to pop the binkie back in every 5 minutes, but it would never bring me to this!!! How many things can you come up with that could go wrong???
Thursday, August 6, 2009
So yesterday afternoon I started to get a scratchy throat. I pretty much ignored it, but within a few hours it was horrible. Now I feel like crap this morning, my whole head is starting to hurt and I really just want to climb back in bed, is it Friday afternoon yet?
A few bullets to sum up the last 24 hours...
~ I feel like crap!
~ Mortgage approval is looking good so far
~ B vacuumed last night! Of course it was after I told him he couldn't go look for deer because it needed to be done.
~ Then B napped and I was left to tend to dinner and Lillian
~ I let dinner get a little over done cause Lillian wanted to eat and I wanted to teach B a lesson
~ I put Lillian in her crib before she was really ready last night and told B he had to get her to sleep. He did with minimal frustration, I took NyQuil and went to bed at 8:30!
~ NyQuil didn't work, I feel worse this morning.
~ Why do I think of all the stuff I need to do when I'm sick?
~ Lillian's pictures should be in at Penny's, but that's a half hour drive
~ My library book I requested is in and needs to be picked up
~ I have papers I need to sign and take to the bank...
My poor brain can't handle everything else, hope everyone has a great day!
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
After picking Lillian up from the sitter's we went to visit with her Nana, who thankfully agreed to watch her again until I can find permanent day care. B called while we were there to say he was home and getting in the shower. So we headed home. B was just getting in the shower, but Nana had given her a bottle so she let me take care of the pumped milk and then we played, but she decided she was still hungry so she ate some more. By the time she was finished it was 6:30 and B had fallen asleep on the couch. So I put her in her exersaucer so I could start making dinner. B woke up though when I smashed my finger in the lazy susan cupboard door. He got me ice and went back to the couch. I said to him "you can take her in there and play with her if you want" he says "well I can't lift that thing with her in it." And I told him "just slide it on the floor" so he did. He played with her for a while and then said to me "I think she's getting tired." So I gave him the option of giving her a bath or watching dinner in the oven and doing the dishes. He chose dinner. Sop I got her ready for bed and dinner was just coming out of the oven. Of course now she wanted to eat. So B looks at me and says do you mind if I eat? I said "no, but if you get my food I can eat too." So he gets my food, but brings me a knife to cut my own meat. Whatever, I eat my potatoes and when she is done eating I ask him to take her so I can finish eating. He reluctantly took her because he's never put her to bed before so he doesn't know how she likes to be held or anything, so I set him up and went back to my dinner. And believe it or not she fell asleep! I thanked him and took her to bed. Then I went out to the kitchen and started doing dishes (from dinner and the bottles cause he didn't do those). He came out and apologized for not doing them. Then he grabbed a pudding and went back to the livingroom. After a few minutes I hear Lillian screaming and I look at him and say "Is she crying?" And he looks at me and says "Oh yeah". I was pissed, she never screams like that because I don't let her wake up enough to scream like that, all she wants is her binkie back and she isn't doing that herself yet. But at any rate, he was in the livingroom with the monitor and I was in the kitchen standing in front of an air conditioner running on high and running water and I heard her but he didn't? I don't even know the words to explain how upset I was with him. She never just starts screaming like that. I didn't say anything though cause I probably would have said some things I couldn't take back and it would have been bad. I showed him how to calm her down and went back to the dishes. He got her calmed down and back to sleep and came out and said "I'm going to bed, are you coming?" I had just started washing the bottles and I said "No I have to finish this and then shower." He's like "you're showering? Why, just wait til morning." Me, "Umm I'm showering cause it's been almost 2 days and I'm gross and I don't have time in the morning." Do you think he offered to finish the bottles? Nope definitely not! He was asleep when I got out of the shower...
Sorry for the rants two days in a row, I promise I'll stop and have something happy tomorrow, I hope, I meet with the bank today.
Here's another eyefull of my cutie pie...
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
So I picked Lillian up from the sitter and I was a little upset to see that she still had her long sleeves and pants on (it was 80 yesterday!), I had put them on over her other shorts jumper cause it was only 60 when we left in the morning., but whatever. She was very tired and kinda cranky. We stopped to see my mom on the way home cause she had called. Well while I was in with my mom the bank guy called again. Then I get home (it's not even 2 minutes away from my mom) and the dogs are jumping all over and Lillian's crying cause she's tired and hungry and I've got to pee so bad. So I leave her in her seat and go to the bathroom and send B a text asking if he let the dogs out while he was home, nope! So when I'm doing going to the bathroom I'm trying to put my milk away and the bottle she didn't drink, she's crying, I start crying and I'm trying to let the dogs out and get the message the bank guy left in case I need to call before they close. I finally sent B a text saying "Gee thanks" And told him I can't take care of everything on my own and that's why he needs to be home at night. He says he knows and he's sorry. So the night goes on, I feed her and we play a little and I get her in her exersaucer long enough to do the dishes. Now she's done with that and wants mommy. We play for about 5 minutes and she starts screaming at me, it's about 7 and time to eat again. When she's done eating we start watching Finding Nemo and I realize she's about to fall asleep so I put her jammies on her a little early. But she starts dozing off and then screaming over and over. Finally a little after 8 the gas meds start to work and I get her down and she's out. So I start making dinner and B calls "do you know who won the race." I said "No?" "Didn't you get my text?" Me, "umm, no" B "well apparently you're miserable." Me, "No, I'm ok, what time do you think you'll be home?" B "well it will be late now that I know you're in a terrible mood." I lost it, I just started bawling. He got pissed said something rude and I just said bye and hung up. After 5 minutes of bawling my eyes out I sent him a text saying "I don't know what I did to deserve that but thanks for making a rough night even worse". It really irritated me too that after telling him everything that was going on earlier he even asked me to find out who won the race. Anyway I composed myself and continued cooking dinner and he called back and apologized. He said he didn't know Lillian wasn't feeling good and wanted to know if she was ok and so on. Then he said they'd be home in a little bit. He called again around 9:30 saying they were leaving. So I ended up passing out before he got there and I didn't hear a thing all night. I woke up with a pounding headache from crying so hard last night and it won't go away. Then this morning I told him he shouldn't leave the boat propped up the way it is cause if the dogs wrap the cable around the board holding it up it could fall on them and kill them (break their back or something), but I made sure to watch them last night. He said to me "well you could have put it down last night, it's not that heavy." And this just got me upset all over again this morning!
If you're still reading, sorry for the long rant but I had to get it off my chest...