Thursday, April 26, 2012

How Things Should Be

How I think things should be in my home and how they are right now are totally opposite and it's really starting to wear on me.  This is part of the reason for yesterdays post.  If things were the way I think they should be, we would have time to discuss things while Lillian isn't around.
** Edit** I wrote this yesterday based on how the morning went and the night before.  Now last night B was extremely helpful, we worked together to get dishes and dinner done and he helped with bath time.  This morning he got up when I woke him, made our coffee, got Lillian ready, took stuff to the car, and helped get the girls to the car**

How Things Should Be - Mornings:
Brandi - run/workout, shower, get Delaney's and my work stuff together, dress myself and Delaney, feed/pump,
Brian - let the dogs out, make coffee, dress, get Lillian up and ready, help me take kids to the car.

How Things Are - Mornings:
Brandi - Run/work out, wake Brian, make coffee for myself (for while I get ready), shower, feed/pump (I do this at the same time), dress myself and Delaney, get my stuff and Delaney's ready to go, let the dogs out, make 2nd pot of coffee for go mugs and his thermos, wake Lillian, get her ready, take both kids to the car
Brian - watch the news, get dressed, make coffee go mugs and thermos, take bags to the car, start vehicles.

How Things Should Be - Work Hours:
Brandi - Do work for my work, maybe pay some bills
Brian - Do work for work, if he gets done early do any shopping or chores that need to be done.  Maybe start dinner, or at least have a suggestion if we need something.

How Things Are - Work Hours:
Brandi - Do work for work, pay some bills, grocery shopping/errands during some lunch hours, make any phone calls needed.
Brian - Works, if he gets done early he goes home, some times mows lawn, some times does dishes, mostly watches TV, naps, or goes somewhere with friends

How Things Should Be - Evenings:
Brandi - Pick up Delaney, Pick up Lillian, take care of pumped milk, get next days bottles ready, feed Delaney twice between 5 and 8, eat dinner, clear table, do a load of wash (just switch and fold what's in dryer), Put Delaney to bed.
Brian - Make dinner, do dishes, give Lillian a bath, put Lillian to bed (in her bed).

How Things Are - Evenings:
Brandi - Pick up the girls (takes an hour), take care of pumped milk, get bottles ready, feed Delaney twice, eat dinner clear table, watch Lillian in bath from my bedroom where I'm feeding Delaney, lay with girls while they go to sleep. Some times I have to make dinner too.
Brian - Some times he cooks, some times he cleans up the table, watches TV, has a snack, gets Lillian out of tub and put pull up on, watches more TV, goes to bed.  He will come discipline Lillian if I am unable to when she's laying down for bed.

Other Stuff:
Lillian should be sleeping in her bed and him in our bed, but she sleeps with me and he sleeps in her room.

I should not get blamed for him not having coffee to take to work because he laid in bed a half hour after I woke up him up.

He should not be upset because he's going to be leaving late, he leaves 45 minutes before he has to be to work and it only takes 10 minutes to get there!  I leave 45 minutes before I have to be there and my drive time is almost 40 minutes, plus taking the girls into their different sitters.

I should talk to him more about what he can do rather than just doing it myself to avoid an argument.

I need to remember that my run/work out in the morning is my "me time" even if it is only a half hour and not always what I want to do.

Now I need to start working on ways to change the things that are wrong.

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Wednesday, April 25, 2012


Better known as arguments.  I think it's about time B and I have one because we've been increasingly short with one another and it normally happens because something irritates us, but we don't get a chance to talk about it, so then we get short and that irritates the other, then they get short and it just keeps building until we pretty much don't even remember what the first thing was.

Our problem is that Lillian thinks she needs to be part of every conversation.  Even if she's off playing by herself she's listening, and most times what we need to talk about involves her.  We follow the "don't argue or discuss punishment in front of the kids" policy, as much as possible.

There is just so much I need to talk about with him and I'm pretty sure I'm gonna cry (I'm still very emotional) and that bothers Lillian.  Last time it happened she yelled at him and that's not good.

So when and how do you solve problems with you significant other???

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Friday, April 20, 2012

Where to Start?

There has been so much I want to blog about lately and I'm sure most of it will never get up here.  I was going to do a week by week of Delaney's first 7 weeks, but it's looking like that might be done in pictures instead.  The highlights are:
  • At 2.5 weeks she was diagnosed with reflux.  I tried taking dairy out of my diet for a week and it didn't help.  The poor girl was screaming, spitting up and obviously in pain after every feeding.
  • At the reflux apt, 2 weeks after her first apt, she had gained a pound and a half!
  • She was put on Zantac
  • We had to start feeding her every 2-3 hours so that she didn't over eat, had to change her BEFORE every feeding and pretty much keep her sitting up at all times.  Oh and let her sleep on her belly whenever possible.
Just over the last few weeks has her reflux been getting better.  At her 1 month appointment she had gained 3lbs and grown an inch!  Although she still spits up frequently, due to her weight gain the doctor isn't all that worried about it, I have a big girl!

She started at the sitter this week as I returned to work and it's been a rough week for me.  She is doing well though.  She started the week by extending her sleeping time to 5 hours before waking to eat and didn't have too much trouble with gas.  Last night she surprised the heck out of me by sleeping all night!!! 8pm to after 5am!!! Boy were my girls sore this morning!

Pumping is going rather well.  At the beginning of last week I started pumping off one side while she ate off the other and right now I'm averaging about 4-6oz more than what she is eating in a day.  That's a whole extra bottle and at least one feeding!  At the sitters she's drinking 4 - 4oz bottles but its over 6-8 feedings.

Lillian meets Baby Sister

Ready to go home

How we started every morning for 6 weeks!

She loves Baby Sister

1.5 weeks old

She wants to "play" with her all the time!

Delaney meets Mimi (my grandma)

Delaney meets PopPop (my grandpa)

Grandma and Delaney on Easter

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Monday, April 16, 2012

L&D: Act II Scene 2 (The Final Act?)

After writing my last post my back ached all day and continued to have bloody show.  When I got home B begged me to sit down and relax, but there was no way I could do that knowing that being on my feet might help things get started.  I did some laundry and cooked dinner.  Around 7 I started having contractions about 15 minutes apart.  Nothing overly painful, so I waited a bit and kept timing them.  After a while they hadn't gotten stronger or closer together and my water hadn't broken so I decided I should get some sleep if I could.  It took quite a while to fall asleep with my hopes so high and labor possibly starting, but I managed.

Around 1am my first contraction woke me up.  Then I was woken up every 12 minutes until I just stayed away at 2am.  At 3am I finally decided to get out of bed and walk around and get things going.  Well it blew up in my face!  My contractions spread out, got random and eventually were more than a half hour apart.  I went back to bed around 5.  I think I may have even cried at this point.  The next morning I got up with Lillian and B, but I was depressed.  After a while I went back to my bed and cried some.  I really wanted to take a nap, but Lillian wanted my attention so we watched some TV, read some books and just cuddled.  Then her grandma called an offered to take her for the night.  I agreed because the plan was that if I went into labor she was going there anyway.  Of course the second I agreed I wished I hadn't, I knew it was only going to be a few days before baby was here and I wanted to spend as much time with her as I could.  But after thinking it over, it was more fair for Lillian to go have fun than be home worried about me and my crying.  So around 11 I think it was Lillian left happily with her grandparents and I promptly drew myself a nice warm bath and got in.  I stayed in the tub for quite some time.  B came in and talked me a few times and I was having some random but really strong contractions, like the ones that you can't move through.

After talking to him and my mother I decided that while he was playing cards with my mom at the bar I would hang out at her house just so I was closer to them in case it was time.  We left for my mom's early, around 2 even though cards wasn't until 5:30, we figured we'd hang out a bit and I'd have so new areas to walk around.  While talking with my mom she suggested I just go to cards with them.  B had already suggested and my aunt who also plays cards had suggested it to my mom too.  I agreed rather than sitting at her house alone.  I walked  around her house and around 4 I started timing my contractions yet again.  I was afraid to because every time I did they would spread out again.  This time though, they didn't.  By 4:30 the only time they went more than 5 minutes was if I went from standing to sitting or sitting to standing.  And when I made that change I would have a VERY painful contraction.  Around 5 we headed to the bar where they play cards.  Contractions spread to about 10 minutes, but as soon as we got there they went back to 5 minutes.  People were joking that I was going to have the baby right there.  About 5:30 and the time cards started I was having trouble walking through the contractions.  Over the next half hour I tried changing positions a few times, but it did really effect the contractions much besides make me have one!  At 6 I called the midwife, of course I got the answering service.  Within a few minutes she called me back though.  After just a minute she could tell the contractions were strong and told me to head to L&D.

I have to say I have no idea how women in labor can stand more than a 10 minute drive to the hospital when in labor.  I was so glad I wasn't at my house!  They got me checked in and up to L&D pretty quickly.  I had to pee so bad and was thankful they didn't make me wait, not sure I could have.  As I went into the bathroom I had a really strong contraction and when I came out after putting my gown on and all I thought I still felt wet.  The nurse asked if I thought I was leaking any fluid and I happily announced "I think my water just broke!"  Sure enough it had when they tested.  It was about 6:30 now and the nurse came in and checked me.  Apparently my cervix was still pretty high because she was having a hard time determining if I was still at a 3 or if what she thought was the other side of my cervix was the sac and I was actually more like a 7.  A second nurse (with bigger hands) came in and checked me, she said I was still a three and my heart sank.  The nurses tried twice to draw my blood and get my IV in.  Finally they decided to do them separately and got both on the 3rd try.  I was asked several times over the time they were trying how far apart my contractions were when I arrived because they quickly went from 5 to 2.  My midwife then came in and decided to check me herself, I was glad because she said I was more like a 5 or 6.  Don't know if I made that progress or the nurses were wrong, but I like that number much better.  And I was even happier when she announced "You aren't leaving without a baby!"  Some time around 7:30 or 8 I was finally able to get in the tub.  I was really hoping for some sweet relief, my hips and thighs were killing me!  The tub felt great but killed my back when contractions hit.  And of course during this time the Duke vs NC game was on and B was watching that.  I will say he did very well paying attention to me though.  I have no idea how long I was in the tub, I just know I definitely went through transition there because I kept having to tell B and my mom to not stop rubbing whatever it was they were rubbing.  I must have been in for about 45 minutes cause just as I decided I needed to get out the nurse was coming in to check baby's heart rate.  I thought I had to pee when I got out so I sat on the toilet, had 3 contractions but couldn't go.  Stood up, had a contraction, got my gown on, had a contraction, walked the 5 steps to my room, had a contraction, midwife said I want to check you, I got on the bed, had a contraction and informed her I needed to push, before the next contraction hit the bed was converted for delivery and she said I could make a small push while she got her gloves on.

In the mean time mom's phone had rang and she was in the bathroom on the phone, the midwife kept telling her it was time and she basically made it just in time to hold my leg.  I pushed for a total of 3 contractions and she was out in 5 minutes!  After her head was out my midwife told me to put my hands between my legs and I was able to grab on to her and pull her up onto my chest, where she stayed for over an hour before they did any testing, cleaning or anything.

I have to say, other than the starting and stopping of contractions, my labor was perfect.  No meds, no long hours of walking the halls this time, and being able to put her on my check myself was amazing!

Delaney Rose was born at 9:35pm, 8lb 4oz (same as Lillian) 22inces long!

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