Saturday, December 12, 2009

Wow Its Been a While

I can't believe I haven't posted since she was 6 months old, and here we are only a week away from her being 8 months old!  She's getting so big and I don't even know where to begin with all the changes she has made.   She has a tooth now and hopefully a second one coming through any day now, but who knows it took forever for the first one to pop through.  She is constantly on her hands and knees and/or toes.  She pretty much rolls to get wherever she wants to go so the doc said she may never crawl for real and just skip ahead to walking.  She has started to try and pull herself up on things, but she doesn't quite have the hang of it yet.  Unless it's your hands.  And man is she a wiggle worm when we are trying to watch a movie or something.  She now says Dada and is starting to really understand what it means.  She also started screaming out Maaaa when she cries and is upset.  We are still exclusively breastfeeding and it seems to be going well.  I freak out that my supply is going to dry up, but she seems to be happy and she's eating more and more solids.  She loves chewing on pizza crust and toast.  And she love the yogurt melts from gerber. She just learned how to get them in her mouth today.  She's been able to pick them up, just not get them into her mouth cause they are smaller.

Here are some bullets on other happenings in my life:
  • We finally bought our house and have moved!  Not all the painting and such is done, but we are in, it looks decent and we are happy.  And we even have our tree up!  I'll post pictures some day.
  • I almost lost my job a few months ago and this is why I haven't posted.  My internet usage is monitored closely.  Yeah it was my fault and I knew I was doing wrong, but I was trying to ease my anxiety of being back at work.  Since then I've been back to the doctor a few times and I'm now in addition to my antidepressants I'm also on anti-anxiety meds.  They seem to be helping though.
  • I don't get much sleep these days and it's not because of Lillian.  I have these crazy dreams that are constantly waking me up, and my anxiety of too much to do and not enough time.  Both are things I just need to get used to.  I talked to the doc this week and he said he could give me drugs to help me sleep and not dream, but the sleep wouldn't be any more restful because of the side effects of the meds.
  • I've started thinking about baby number two, but I just don't know where I'm at yet.  I'm very hurt that in a week it will be 8 months since my husband and I have had sex.  And no, it's not for a lack of trying.  I gave up back in August though when I said to him "we have the house to our selves for a few hours, lets go to the bedroom" he said "I have to call Shaun, maybe we can leave early"  And just last month I surprised him and got a sitter and we went to dinner alone and talked and I told him that it was starting to bother me emotionally that we hadn't had sex.  Yup still no sex and I'm really starting to feel down about myself.  I'm almost to the point that I don't know if I even want to have sex just because I feel like he'd be doing it cause I'm upset, not because he wants to.  I understand that he does a lot of physical labor all day, but shouldn't the thought of being intimate with your wife be enough to give you the energy for sex a leat once a month?!
Well I suppose I better get to bed now, with my luck Lillian will have me up in a few hours.  If you want to keep closer tabs on me feel free to friend me on Facebook. 
Brandi Hollenbeck