Lessons in Mommyhood

Saturday both B and I got some lessons in Mommyhood.

After breakfast with my grandparents and taking them up to see our new house we decided to head to the lake and go out on the boat with my mom and Johnny (her fiance). On the way there though B started getting miserable and I don't really know why. So when we got there Lillian was sleeping, but as we were walking to the boat she woke up. We got going and I took her out of her seat and put sunscreen on her and her floating bathing suit. Check out how cute she is...

Once we were anchored at the beach I took that off and put her swimsuit and hat on her. I took her in the water and even though it was chilly at first in only a few seconds she enjoyed it fully.

Brian held her while I walked to the beach to find my aunt, she had the floaties that my mom had bought for Lillian. But by the time we found her and got back (a long boring story) Lillian was hungry and tired. She refuses to take a bottle from me, so B fed her and laid her down for a nap. I had started drinking at this point and was getting a little buzz. B stayed on the boat with her and took care of her.

When we got back I changed Lillian and B and I got in a little tiff because he couldn't find his phone and he had an attitude with me, like it was my fault or something. He found his phone and went outside leaving me with Lillian. I went to go out and sit around with the family, but there were no chairs when I opened the door so I closed it and went back inside (it was cooler in there anyway). He came in and sat with me. After letting Lillian play in the mirror we decided to head outside. She played in her exersaucer and we just hung around. While I was making a drink Lillian started fussing and B picked her up. When I walked back over he handed her to me and said "I either need to eat or take a nap, I'm going to lay down." I just stared at him, I couldn't believe what he was saying. He realized I was upset and said "I'll take her with me." I said "she's not going to nap, she just woke up a half hour ago." He took her anyway and went inside. I walked off because I was upset and a few minutes later he followed me. He said he doesn't get me lately. He said a few other things that I was too upset to remember and walked off again saying he wasn't going to fight with me. I walked t0 our Jeep which was away from the camp site and opened the back and sat down. I got even more upset with myself because I was continuing to drink. I don't like using drinking as a coping mechanism. B walked up as I threw my drink to the ground. He said he was sorry but he was tired and hungry. He said he was doing this for me so I could have a good time, and I understood that, but explained to him I'd been having little anxiety attacks all day because I know what it feels like to be in the position and I didn't want him to feel that way. After that we went and hung out with the family and I started doing the things for him that I wished he'd do for me.

We left around 10 after he cooked for everyone and I got Lilly to sleep. On the way home we talked again and he apologized for his first little spat again and said that after he realized what he said about being tired and hungry he felt really bad and realized I go through that all the time. I told him I was glad that he now understands and I don't ever want him to feel like again, but I won't be the only one to feel that way. I think he really understands now what it's like to be the only one taking care of her, not to mention doing that and watching the other one "get their drink on". Of course I also got the lesson in how much it sucks for the other one to want to leave when you're having a good time. Personally, I'd take having to leave over being stressed any day!

So today is our 2 year anniversary and it's supposed to be 90 and humid with a feels like temp or around 100. This means B is going to be on a roof where its probably going to feel some where around 110-120 all day, I'm really not expecting much tonight. My mom has offered for us to come over swimming and she'd watch Lillian and make dinner for us if we want. We might take her up on it depending on how he's feeling when we get home.

Here's a few more pics of my little angel. I'll post the swimming pictures once they are sent to me...