Lots to Think About

First I will start by saying Congratulations to my MBIS08 Girl Sarah, who just got her Birthday BFP!

Next, yesterday was the best I have felt in weeks. Granted I still had some stomach issues, especially when it came to eating, but I didn't feel sick most of the day and that was nice. Maybe the end is nearing? Today I'm not feeling great, but that's because I over slept and my eating schedule is off.

OK, now for the exciting news I know you have all been holding your breath for (Well I hope not, that's a long time!). B and I went and looked at a house last night. The exciting part is that it's two houses down from his dad's house where he spent many years (not) growing up. This means we would know all our neighbors. It's out in the country and in a good school district. And he wants to sell now. He also said that if we couldn't have the closing for a few months he would be willing to let us rent it until we could. He's owned the house for 3 years and in that 3 years 90% of the floors have been replaced, all the insulation, new siding, new water lines, pump and hot water heater. New furnace, bathrooms were re-done, it has 3 bedrooms and 2 baths (one off master bedroom). There are only a few things I'm not sure of, there is no basement or attic, but there is a storage shed on the back and it's not the style house I pictured myself living in. I've always wanted a two story house. And the kicker is I don't know how we're going to get a down payment. I've spent so much time and money on getting things paid off that we don't have much in the bank that isn't already accounted for. We have to let the guy know by next week or he is going to go to a realtor. I'm just not sure what to do!

The Lost Title...

Wow, Friday seems so long ago! I actually had a pretty nice weekend even though B wasn't around. I rented and watched 7 movies between Friday and Saturday! It was wonderful to jut lay in bed and not worry about anything. The only thing I had to do was let the dogs out, feed them and feed myself. I didn't feel great on Saturday so I decided that when my tummy was feeling ok, it was time to go rent more movies so I didn't have to suffer through the crap on TV. I think it's ridiculous how much we spend on cable and/or dish, but there still doesn't ever seem to be anything on. I think infomercials should be outlawed. By a spot on QVC for crying out loud.

OK, enough ranting about that. Yesterday was a pretty good day. I didn't feel that great in the morning, but once I got to football and got some of mom's yummy chili in my tummy, I was fine. Oh and of course Dobby's fresh from the oven brownies were to die for! I shouldn't eat for a week based on how much I ate yesterday, but here I sit eating a chocolate chip muffin. In other great news, the Buffalo Bills increased their record to 4-0 yesterday!!!

I think that's about it for now. Hopefully I will have some great news to post tomorrow, but I'm going to leave you in suspense wondering what it could be until then...

***UPDATE***
So I totally forgot to put a title on this post!

And as asked, the 7 movies I watched were:

1. Baby Mama - Probably would have enjoyed more watching it with some one, but it was good.
2. Mr. Magorium's Magic Emporium ( I think that's how it goes) - Great kids movie!
3. Maid of Honor - It was pretty good, your typical love story
4. Sex in the City - Great, but a little long
5. No Reservations - This was my favorite, way better than what the previews made it out to be.
6. Sleep Walking - Pretty good, but a rather boring story.
7. Mad Money - It was ok.

He's Aiming for Sainthood - 9 Weeks

Either that or he feels really bad about leaving me all weekend. I left work at 2 yesterday not feeling well. I came home and had some chicken noodle soup and grilled cheese, it made me feel a lot better. But I was exhausted so I laid in bed and watched TV.

B should have been home around 4 so at 4:30 when he wasn't home I sent him a text asking where he was. He was headed to K-Mart with his buddy. This really upset me. It upsets me cause he's constantly just going off and doing things after work without saying anything to me, I think it's just rude. But he got home around 5:30 I think. I was feeling terrible but I wanted to be with him because he leaves for the weekend today. So when he got home he did the dishes, cleaned the kitchen counter, swept the floor and vacuumed. Oh and he made dinner. Which I was grateful for because I felt very weak, and when I would stand up I'd feel sick.

He can be so wonderful, I don't know what I'm going to do all weekend without him!

Once again I'm home from work. I wish I could just get through a shower in the morning without having to bed over and catch my breath. On the plus side I'm 9 weeks today and that means that within the next 3 weeks this should all be subsiding. Of course the key word there is should. I'm so glad my boss seems to be understanding. Most of the time all I have to do is walk in his office and he can tell that I need to go home. I did stop in this morning after taking B to work and grab some stuff to work on from home in the rare moments when I feel good.

I hope everyone has a good weekend!

Low On Fuel

That's the way I'm feeling. Yesterday I was on my way to work and drove right past. That was when I decided I needed to go home. I had woken up and opted out of the shower for a little extra sleep. I wore my black stretch pants (pajamas) with a nice top. All I wanted was to be comfy. When I got back home I crawled directly into bed and slept for 3 hours straight. When I woke up at 10 I decided it wasn't time to get up yet and slept for another hour. At 11 I made myself get out of bed and go to work as much as I didn't want to.

My boss was actually impressed that I made it in and I ended up having a rather productive afternoon. Which never would have happened if I hadn't gone home to sleep. After work I went to the grocery store because we were out of everything. This apparently was a terrible idea. As I was in the checkout line I became extremely ill feeling. Weak and sweaty feeling, shortness of breathe, you know everything you feel right before you run to the bathroom praying it isn't in use. I managed to make it outside and the fresh air helped. I was really glad to have gotten some cheese curds, I ate some on the way home. This also helped, but when I got home I went inside and told B he needed to bring the groceries in (he normally does anyway) and this time he put them away without me even having to ask. I spent most of the rest of the night laying in bed wondering why I was dumb enough to go grocery shopping. I took a zofran, but it didn't seem to do much good. Although the lemonade B got me seemed to help some until I started burping.

This morning I woke up at 3:30 with a terrible headache and feeling sick. And of course I didn't fall back asleep until my alarm started going off. I LOVE Snooze!!! I'm thinking I may only work a half day today, but we'll see.

Thanks so much for all the comments on my 1st ultrasound. It was so great. And for the compliments on my new header. Now all I need to do if figure out how to make it 3 columns and I'll be happy.

1st Ultrasound!

So I left a perfect example of my brain not functioning in my last post titled Bad BlOOger, instead of Bad BloGGer. Just had to point out my idiocy.

Today seemed like the longest day ever. Of course I knew it would being that my appointment was until 3:00 this afternoon. I swear it seemed like the longest time of my life ever. 1st B got stuck in traffic and was late picking me up. I wanted to be mad at him, but I managed to keep my temper and not say anything, he was stressing as it was.

We got there about 10 minutes late for my appointment, this bothered me, but only because I hate it when other people are late and it makes me have to wait longer. So the girl takes me back after only maybe 10 minutes of waiting. She takes me into a room with a few desks and a bed, I think it was an office actually with a portable machine. She does the abdominal and doesn't say much of anything, after a few minutes she looks at me and says "I guess we'll have to do the trans vaginal." So after not saying anything, I'm wondering if this is normal for 8 weeks? Is everything ok? Did she not see anything? So she says I'm going to take you to a different room for that, like I said the room was more like an office so I was happy to wait for another room to open up.

I ask for a bathroom while I was waiting. After I went we waited another 5-10 minutes. We get to the new room and I undress and she sticks in the dildo and says "wow your bladder filled up fast" I thought I was crazy for thinking I had to go again, but my bladder was so full she couldn't see the top of my uterus so I had to go pee again. Once we finally got started it seemed like forever before she said anything, lots of button pushing though. Finally she turned the screen and there was peanut. Bobbing it's little head and wriggling around. I don't think I've ever felt so much relief in my life. Even B could tell exactly what it was. You could see it's little head and when she got it just right you could even see the arm and leg buds. Peanut is measuring 8w3d, right on schedule. And get this a heartbeat of 177bpm! The only thing that sucked was that I didn't get a picture. I was going to ask, but she logged out before I got the words out. I hope I get another u/s at 12 weeks, but I doubt it for some reason. Either way I'm happy now!

Bad Blooger

Yes I've been bad. My brain doesn't seem to function enough to put together a whole blog. I'm not even really sure what I'm going to write about in this post, but I have to come up with something!

The weekend seemed to go by way to fast. Saturday B made me cinnamon rolls for breakfast and I ate 4 of them! They were so yummy. In the afternoon we made the 2 hour drive to my cousin's wedding reception. The wedding was over a year and a half ago though. I felt bad for leaving early, but I was exhausted and not feeling great. All the meat they had was covered in BBQ sauce and I just couldn't stomach it. It was nice to see some family I hadn't in a while though.

Sunday was great! I slept in til 9:30, it felt great. And of course we went to football. This week his aunt made Chicken wing dip, it was amazing!!! Oh and she made Ziti that was great too, but I ate so much dip I couldn't eat much Ziti. The game was great, Buffalo pulled it off in the end! For the first time in 16 years they are starting 3-0!

I'm trying something new this week. On my way in to work this morning I stopped at the store and grabbed some fruit to snack on all morning. I'm hoping this may help my tummy a bit. I'm so excited to my ultrasound tomorrow it's not even funny. I don't know how I'll get through the day tomorrow!

1st Appointment

I had my first appointment today. It was with the nurse only though. It really wasn't anything too exciting, but I'm happy to be here at 8 weeks and the have the appointment done.

Some of the highlights are that she got me a prescription for Zofran because of feeling so sick and missing work because of it. She also told me that I need to eat more. Who's going to be disappointed with that? And the best news is that I have my first ultrasound next Tuesday. I really wanted to have it in the morning, but being that B goes to work (actually starts working) at 7 and they don't make the first appointment until 8, I decided to wait until 3 in the afternoon so that he can be there with me. I'm so excited. I can't wait to see Peanut! She did say under normal circumstances they wouldn't do an ultrasound yet, but being that I had a miscarriage it should help me relax and be more confident. I'm so glad she suggested it, cause if she hadn't I would have had to ask for one.

In other news, on my way home last night I got rear-ended. Peanut and I are fine, but the Jeep's bumper and tail lights on the driver's side aren't. I really need to get a hold of my insurance company, I just don't have the energy.

Milestones

Today was a big milestone for us. Our Doppler arrived and we got to hear the heartbeat!!! I really wasn't expecting it to work, but it did. I'm only 7w5d! The heartbeat ranged from 90 to 126, but I've heard that's normal. Either way, it was there and way higher than the 74 of my last pregnancy.

Not much else happening, well not as exciting anyway. I only worked a half day at work today because I almost got sick there. That and my brain just isn't functioning like normal. I can't concentrate on anything, not even baby stuff. I'm sure being exhausted all the time doesn't help, but I just can't comprehend anything. I swear it was a waste of time reading my email at work today cause 5 minutes after reading it I couldn't remember what I read. I wish maternity leave was the whole pregnancy, oh well.

Blah

Well I'm feeling like crap. Better today than yesterday though. And it's such a good sign, when I get down about it, I just think of how well peanut must be doing. Once again I ended up not staying at work yesterday. I say not staying because this time I actually drove there. I almost pulled over on the way, but I didn't. I went to get my bags out of the back seat and started gaging. That's when I said "Nope, you're going home." The women I share the bathroom with are extremely nosey and love to gossip, I'm not ready for them to hear me yacking yet. Well, I may never be ready for that to tell you the truth. So I went home and spent the day in bed loving my misery. OK, I won't lie, there were times that I cried wishing it would just end, but in the end, I wouldn't have it any other way.

Finding foods to eat currently is a chore. Nothing settles and nothing ever sounds good. The only thing that sounded good yesterday was Taco Soup, but B didn't get home until late so I couldn't have it. See I have a problem with raw meat, or cooking anything for that matter. Raw meat sends me gaging and preparing anything else just makes me not want to eat. I did manage to make a PB&J yesterday though.

I suppose I better get some stuff done today. Especially being that I wasn't here yesterday and I'll be out for a few hours on Friday.

Football Sunday Show and Tell

Well by the title you'd probably think I was going to show something about football, but I'm not. I have something I've been wanting to show since I started this blog.

Last night I finally finished my first crochet project I started. Don't get me wrong, I've finished several in the last year, but they were only after putting this one on hold. Here's some pictures...

This project took so long because there are 96 of the little squares that make up the bigger squares. Then all the squares have to be sewn together. I'm so happy it's done. I had to do a few project in between just so that I didn't give up completely. Need to have a sense of accomplishment once in a while.

If you'd like to see what everyone else brought for Show and Tell head on over to Stirrup Queens blog.

Now on to Footballs Sunday! Yes, it's one of my favorite days. This may sound weird coming from a woman, but over the last 5 years it has become a tradition. Every Sunday we get together at B's Uncle's house and watch the Buffalo Bills hopefully play a decent game. We have great food and so many memorable times. We even have a book that we write down our comical sayings in so that we can remember them for the next year. And did I mention the food? Some times it's chili, or Taco soup, crock pot pizza, lasagna for his cousins b-day, I tell you it's a pregnant woman's dream, or nightmare if you don't happen to like what they are serving that day. I'm not sure what's for dinner today, but I'm hoping for crock pot pizza or taco soup!

7 Weeks

Well I made it through yesterday! Yesterday was the day I started spotting with my first pregnancy and the only time I've seen any spotting this time is when I brush my teeth or blow my nose. This makes me very happy! I can't believe my 8 wk appointment is only a week away. And hubby told me last night that he should be able to be there, this also makes me very happy.

I mad some purchases yesterday. First off I bought 4 Bella bands. Well they aren't the name brand, they're off eBay, but I got them all for about $50 rather than maybe two for that price. I got regular ones in black, white and brown. Then I got a lace trim one in black. This should help me get through the next couple of months. I also broke down and bought B a video take. He didn't want to read the book so I bought him this. Of course I can't wait to watch it either.

And last, but certainly not least, I rented a doppler. I can't wait for it to get here. There is a chance that it will working before the 10 week mark. I asked B what he thought about it and he asked why I hadn't ordered yet. I was so happy he was ok with spending the money on it!

Yesterday B did ask if we could go to his friend's house so he could shoot his bow, but when I told him I didn't want to he was fine with that. We watched TV together for a little while and ate dinner. But then B fell asleep, once again leaving me feeling lonely. Especially when he didn't come to the bedroom when I was ready for bed at 8. I understand that he may not have been ready for bed, but I was up for another hour and there was no reason he couldn't have watched TV and played poker in the bedroom. He did apologize for it this morning though. I guess it made me feel better.

Today has been rough. I've felt sick all morning to the point of the thought of putting something in my mouth makes me gag. I wanted to leave work after my important meeting this morning, but I was reminded that I have to go to a training session today. It's mandatory and I've forgotten about all the other sessions this week so now I have to go this afternoon.

Tonight my sister is coming home from school for the weekend so we're taking her to dinner. It should be fun, I haven't seen her since I found out I was pregnant!

Hope everyone has a good weekend!

Orgasmic Fruit

Well first I'll update on the issue I had in my last post with people spreading the news. G called me first thing in the morning yesterday to tell me "I just wanted you to know that it wasn't C that told me. I wouldn't want you to be upset with her because you didn't want her to tell." I wasn't really sure what to think, of her calling, but she still didn't tell me who told her. Like I told her, it's not that big of a deal, but it would be nice to know who else they have told.

Today's lunch was much better than yesterday!!! That's where the title comes from. I had a craving for watermelon so I went to Price Chopper and got one or their pre-cut melon dishes. Then I saw the salad bar and grabbed a salad too. When I got to work I ate the salad first. It was OK, the best part was the tomatoes. Then I got to my wonderful fruit. It had cantaloupe, watermelon and honeydew. And all I could say was "MMMmmmm" literally, I was saying it out loud without even realizing it. I think it was the best fruit I'd ever had, I can't wait to have more today!

I'm starting to have some troubles with B. Don't get me wrong, he's been a lot better since I got back from my trip as far as understanding that I'm tired and don't feel good and all that. And he's quit smoking (well that's what he wants me to think, I'm sure he's still smoking at work cause he carries his lighter, but hey I haven't seen him smoke in over a week) and he isn't drinking in front of me except for at football, which I knew would happen, but he didn't get drunk or anything. My problem is that I don't feel like he wants to spend any time with me. It seems like every time it's going to be just the two of us he has something he needs to run off and do. Sunday after the football game he had to go to his buddy's to help him with something, I was in bed when he got home. Monday night he got home from work and had to go tell his friend that he needed to pick his girlfriend up early because his friend doesn't have a phone right now. This night he was home earlier, but he kept telling me I should be in bed resting if I didn't feel good so eventually I gave being with him in the living room. Then Tuesday is his bowling night. He gets picked up at 6. It irritated me that he slept when he got home from work and then when I got home he got in the shower and then on the computer. It was like he was avoiding me. So I left for my mom's. And was home around 7 and in bed way before he got home. Last night I got home and he was watching TV so I went and joined him. After about 5 minutes of chit chat he said that he needed to drive to our camp do some measuring and then stop at his buddy's. He left 45 minutes after I got home and it was after 8 when he returned.

Now I understand I'm not a barrel of fun, but why does he keep leaving me. I feel like he doesn't want to spend time with me. And I know when I bring this up he's going to say "well what do you want to do?" and that's where the problem is. I don't have anything in particular I want to do, but if he can sit at his buddy's house, why can't he sit at our house with me?

Public Places

It took me forever to decided what to do for lunch today. There were two main reasons for this. 1) I wasn't really hungry cause I went through 3/4 or a sleeve of saltine crackers this morning, and 2) because I was still feeling sick even though I went through 3/4 of a sleeve of saltine crackers this morning. Finally I decided to run to Tops and get a slice of their chicken wing pizza (I love it!) Well they also had garlic so I grabbed a slice of each and some Sierra Mist and headed to a table. So I sat there happily enjoying my lunch and reading a book until...

Some old guy that smells like piss comes and sits at the table next to me. I swear that will be the last time I eat in public while my sense of smell is so good. I wanted to be sick right there. It was absolutely disgusting. Ugh, just thinking about it makes my stomach turn.

In other news... I knew it wouldn't be long before word got around that I'm pregnant. After my horrifying lunch experience I was walking back into work and one of the ladies I'm friends with here, G, stopped and held the door for me, while I walked across half the parking lot. She said "I just wanted to congratulate you and let you know that I guessed it on my own. Don't worry, I won't tell anyone. I know what you've been through." First thing I thought, was how did you guess, I haven't seen you in almost a month (we work in different departments) and second was how do you know what I went through before? I know exactly where she got the information about my miscarriage from and how she found out I was pregnant again. B's friend and his girlfriend. The ones who have the two little girls that I've talked about. I suppose I don't mind so much, but it was just a little shocking that she seemed to know everything.

Well I think I'm done rambling for today, I can't wait to go home!

Skipping

I totally skipped work today. I probably shouldn't have, but oh well. I got up this morning and got ready for work, but every 5 minutes was having to stop and breathe and get myself to stop feeling sick. There were a few times I wanted to run to the bathroom but B was in there getting ready for work. Luckily I was able to keep from getting sick, or should I say peanut was nice enough to not actually make me sick. So I dropped B off at work like normal and as he was getting out he looked at me and said "you should go home, you look terrible and you'll just be miserable at work" So I came home, I called my boss and said "I'm not feeling well this morning so I won't be in, but if I feel better this afternoon I'll be in." Well needless to say I didn't go in. I felt ok while I napped, even though I was having the strangest dreams and I felt ok for an hour or so this afternoon. And once again I'm not feeling good. Do you even feel better after getting sick???

Besides that, not much going on. I'm less than a week from the point where I had my miscarriage last time so I'm feeling better about things right now. I'm really hoping they schedule an ultrasound for my first appointment, that is only 11 days away. I'll feel a whole lot better when I know there's a nice strong heartbeat.

6 Weeks!!!

I can't believe how fast this last week went by. I'm sure it's mostly because of the holiday and then having the business trip.

My trip was ok, besides trying to explain why I was constantly going to the bathroom without telling them I'm pregnant or grossing them out. Finally I just said, well I never know when I'll be able to go again so I always make sure I go when I can. Nothing too exciting though. Oh except some of you may appreciate this. I got to see Arnold Palmer tee off at his own country club. I like golf and B watches it some times so it was pretty exciting to me.

In other news, B did read a few emails that I sent him and apparently they are working cause he seems to be way more understanding today, either that or he is pampering me because he missed me. Our bed is being delivered today and he vacuumed the room and cleaned the nightstands and everything. I was sure I was going to have to go in there and clean the stands and vacuum more when he was done taking the frame down, but nope, he even moved the stands to vacuum under them. Only a few more hours to go now!!!

Well I think that's pretty much it. I've been very nauseous lately and sometimes just reading about a food can make me want to be sick. I've been lucky so far, but I've been very close. You know the getting all sweaty and then feeling like you're really weak. I put my head between my legs and do some deep breathing and I seem to over come it, but I have a feeling that is only going to work for so long.

Now I just wait for the next week and a few days to go by. I think I'll feel better (emotionally) once I get past the day when I had my mc.

Happy Pregnancy

This is my goal! I am determined to be mostly happy throughout my pregnancy. I've heard and read in different places that the happier you are during your pregnancy, the more likely your child will have a cheery disposition. Whether this is true or medically proven doesn't really matter because being happy can't hurt, right?

On other pregnancy related things, I felt the worst I have at all this morning. I had all I could do not to run to the bathroom this morning. What helped was the fact that I knew B was using the toilet. Now that I've eaten I feel better for the time being. I also had my first craving this morning. I was making my bagel at work and while it was toasting I looked in the cooler and say Chocolate milk. Let me just say it was the best Chocolate milk I've ever had!!!

So yesterday I signed B up for the weekly emails from 3D pregnancy.com. I told him this way he only has a little to read once a week and he get a better understanding of what's going on with me and it gives Daddy tips for some weeks. His response was "Great, just remind me to check my email." A little frustrating, but whatever. I was proud of him for behaving himself last night while he was out bowling with the guys. It was the first night and he got home late so I was expecting him to be stumbling all over, but he was actually fine. I think he may be having sympathy symptoms. Heartburn last night and felt sick this morning. Yeah right, it was just the beer, but it's a nice thought.

Tomorrow I am leaving on a Business Trip. I'm not really all that thrilled about it. I think it's going to be a waste of time, but I guess that's not my decision to make. We are flying and I think it's a waste of time because we could drive there in less than 6 hours. But instead I have to drive an hour to the airport, sit there and hour cause you have to be early, fly and hour, have an hour delay before the next one hour flight and then we get there. So that's 5 hours right there. Not to mention I won't be getting home until 9:30 Friday night. Way to cut into my weekend!

On the good news, my new bed will be arriving the day after I get back!!! Only tonight in my old bed, and Friday night in our spare bed!!!

OK, I think that's enough rambling for now...

Long Weekend

In every sense of the word.

B and I are having some major communication problems and I was in tears at least once every day this weekend. Granted I know that a lot of this is hormonal, but there are things he could do to make this easier. Let me explain...

B drank (to the point of at least having a good buzz) every day this weekend. Friday with my friends, Saturday at our local dirt racetrack with his friends, and all day Sunday with his buddy and my family.

Now I understand that I am the one carrying the baby, and I cut back on my drinking quite a while ago, but it was still part of my weekends up until 3 weeks ago. And I smoked up until the morning I found out I was pregnant. Now back before I knew I was Pg, B told me that he was going to quit smoking with me when I found out I was pregnant. Well he hasn't yet.

Saturday after crying to him that its so hard sitting around watching everyone smoke and drink he asked me if I wanted to go sit on the porch with him. I said yes because I was sick of being in the house. What did he do but open a beer and light a cigarette. OMG I wanted to smack him. It hadn't been 5 minutes since I told him it bothered me. Then that night on the way to the race he said he needed to stop and get cigarettes, I said "I thought you were quitting?" And his response was "It's going to be hard" Well no shit!

Sunday was the worst because he got quite drunk. He started drinking around 1 and we went to the bar for the pig roast around 2. Then around 7 we walked to another bar. Finally around 8 I was ready to go home. He and his buddy were drunk and I was sick of them acting stupid and he got mad at me. I was exhausted, I hadn't had a nap all day and he did nothing but bitch at me because I was ruining his fun!

Finally yesterday he asked what was wrong and why I wasn't talking to him. I broke down once again but told him I wasn't going to bother telling him because he wasn't going to listen just like Saturday. And I explained what he did. And I explained to him that just because I HAD to quit that stuff, didn't make it easy, and if anything he is making it harder for me. I think he may understand now, but it's easy to act that way when the weekend is over and you're recovering for the work week ahead. I guess we'll see what next weekend brings.