Appreciating My Infertility

Sounds crazy doesn't it? I have to appreciate some of the things that have come into my life because of my infertility though.

When we first started trying I joined the What.To.Expect website where I got to chat with all sorts of women who were trying to get pregnant just like me. I didn't really have a chance to get to know too many people since I was only there for 2 cycles, but there was one forum that I joined that I stayed and chatted with the girls. When I had my miscarriage these girls were there for me and helped me through the tough time. After a year there were still 8 of us in this forum and now almost 4 years later we still all talk pretty much on a daily basis.

These girls have helped me through so much and they understand what I'm going through. These girls are the ones that I cried tears of joy for when they told me they were pregnant and again when they had their little ones. The ones I run to when my mom tells me "don't worry, you're stressing too much."

And these girls are there with their kind words and positive thoughts every month when announce the arrival of the unwanted guest after I excitedly told them for a week how sure I was I was pregnant. They don't judge or think I'm crazy for having symptoms every month.

And now that we all have little ones they are a great support for those tough parenting situations. We also love to share stories, pictures and all the stress that comes with parenting.

I hope that if you are suffering from infertility you can find something good in it.

Just Relax

Reading the comment on yesterday's blog made me realize that many women have no idea there is two different kinds of "relaxing" when it comes to TTC. And in those two different kinds there are varying degrees for each individual.

For most couples when you first start trying it is completely relaxed, and most couples don't even realize that in all reality you really only have about 9 days where becoming pregnant is possible as long as the couple has healthy sperm and eggs. I don't know what school teaches now, but they never taught me that. Sperm can live for approximately 7 day in the most fertile conditions and an egg will be viable anywhere from 12 to 48 hours. This is the most optimal time for conception.

Most women also don't realize that their body is constantly giving them signs as to what part of your cycle you are in. When I was in school I was taught that if you have your period you are most likely not going to get pregnant, the rest of your cycle you can easily get pregnant. I understand the scare tactic, I really do, but it's definitely not truthful. The truth is, approximately 48 hours after you ovulate until you start menstruating, you have less chance of getting pregnant than any other time in your cycle.

I would say somewhere around the 6th month of trying most couples start to wonder why they aren't pregnant yet. In reality this is only 6 tries at getting pregnant, but 6 months feels like forever. This is where the women start doing research on "how to get pregnant". This is also when they learn about all the myths of infertility, like relaxing, or this sex position increases your chances, or put your hips in the air... the list can go on and on.

Eventually you either read about you Basal Body Temperature (BBT) or you go see your doctor and they tell you about it your BBT is the simplest at home way to tell if you are ovulating. I won't go into details, but basically you chart your temperature every morning, and you keep track of any discharge and cramps you may have. Most doctors, before proceeding with testing will require you to do this for 6 months. You get to know your body very intimately.

And here is where type one of relaxing ends. After 6 months of seeing that you are ovulating and paying close attention to what your body is telling you, it's kind of hard to stop. At this point doing a "relaxed" cycle pretty much just means that you aren't going to take your temperature every day, you aren't going to use ovulation predictor kits (OPKs) and you are going to try like hell to not take a test until after the day you expect your period.

But it is about impossible to stop paying attention to what you feel in your body. Especially if you have experienced pregnancy before. Every cycle you just know "this is it", when I got pregnant before I had cramps this many days after ovulation, or my breasts are tender this month, I have to be pregnant, or such and such only happens when I'm pregnant. But guess what, these things are never true. Many pregnancy symptoms are the same as your menstruation symptoms and no two pregnancies are the same. So every month you say "we're just going to relax" you do just fine until you notice your discharge is becoming fertile, and then you are ok for about a week until you realize "it's about time for implantation". And then your head spins and you don't know if what you are feeling is real or not.

If there is any infertile out there with advise on how to "relax" more please give the advice.

Even on a cycle where we have said "we're just going to have sex for fun this month, no timing, noting" I can't help but know that it's my fertile time. After months of keeping track of when you are fertile, you just know. And when you want a baby, you can't help but make sure you don't miss a chance.

I appreciate your comment Olive Oyl, and in all honestly what you suggested is exactly what we have been doing for the last 6 months. I charted my BBT long enough to confirm I was ovulating and that was it.

If anyone wants to learn more about their body and their cycle I suggest the book Taking Charge of Your Fertility. This book has taught me so much and I plan to have my daughter read it when she starts learning about reproduction in school. It teaches you how to know when you are fertile and when you are not and how to use your cycle signals as a natural family planning method.

I hope this all makes sense to everyone. It kind of just came pouring out.

Deciding to Get Tested

I am having trouble with this topic. I am the type of person that tries to put on a happy face to make sure everyone around me is happy, comfortable and worry free, while inside things may be eating me up. This being my personality it also means that I don't like going to someone and admitting something is wrong. Even though chances are good that I won't need IUI or IVF, the feeling that my body can't work on it's own really bothers me.

I know this will be a process, mentally, like finally getting on my happy pills. It took me a long time to accept the fact that depression was most likely going to be a part of my life forever. Now that I have admitted it and treat it, I feel better. And honestly no one would ever have to know if I didn't tell them. And the same will go for infertility.

I keep putting it off though. Back in Dec. 2010 my OB told me to call whenever I wanted to start testing. B and I decided we would wait until after the holidays. Then I decided that I will try and lose some weight first, I mean really, the first time I got pregnant I was a good 30lbs lighter than I was then. Now that I have lost weight I keep telling myself that I need to give it a few months to see if it works. What's it going to take for me to just go start the testing???

Some times I think "why haven't you started yet? The longer you wait the longer it will take, the older you will be, the older Lillian will be..."

I am to begin testing for pregnancy in a few days and if I have no good news to share I hope that I can be in the same mind set that I am right now that it's time.

Feel free to ask me any questions about my experiences or infertility in general. Is there a specific topic you are wondering about, just let me know.

How to Deal with an Infertile...

Here's the biggest problem dealing with an infertile... most of the time you don't know when you are. That's right, we don't carry a card in out pocket (unless you count the ones with the OB and RE's numbers on them) and we don't have signs around our necks. My point is, you never know if you are talking to someone who is having trouble conceiving. Questions such as:


~ When are you gonna start having kids?
~ Don't you think you should start a family?
~ So when's the next one coming?


Are really not appropriate questions to ask anyone if you don't know their situation. And yes they are all questions that I have been asked.


I remember being asked "when are you going to start having kids?" after my miscarriage. I already felt broken for not being able to keep my pregnancy and then again for not being able to get pregnant again. I didn't even know how to answer this question and finally just answered every inquiry with "When it happens, it happens" because really I don't want to tell you how broken I am.


I think the worst comment so far in my venture for my second bundle of joy came when I had been trying for 10 or 11 months. I ran into a girl I work with in the bathroom. She asked how the baby was and we chatted. Then she said "you know it's much easier to have your kids close in age, you should have another one now." All I said was "yeah that's what I've heard." What I really wanted to say was..."bitch, if my body worked like yours I would probably be out on maternity leave right now, but it doesn't so shut your pie hole!"


Just recently at a baby shower I was asked "When are you going to start trying for another one?" I honestly said "We've been trying for over a year." The girl actually talking to me said "Oh I'm so sorry." The girl sitting next to me said "Oh just relax and it will happen. You're thinking about it too much." Well guess what, we were very relaxed for the first 6 months and it didn't happen, what makes you think relaxing now will be any different.

Don't get me wrong, I think you should enquire with you close friends and family about their family plans, just do it in an appropriate way that won't make them want to gouge your eyes out. Questions such as:

~ Do you plan on having a family?
~ How many kids do you think you want to try for?
~ Do you plan on having more kids?

are much less invasive than the first set of questions. They also leave room for as much or as little information as the person wants to share. And if you do talk to an infertile couple, please don't recommend different things to try if you yourself have not had personal experience with it. There are many myths out there.

If you have a myth you would like to bust, please join in the challenge or if you would like to learn more about infertility visit Resolve

Infertility Awareness Week

This week is National Infertility Awareness Week, so I want to share some of my experiences with you.

There are many myths out there about infertility. I think the biggest one is that it is not common. Did you know that 1 in 8 couples have fertility issues? With statistics like that chances are you know someone who suffers from infertility.

Here are a few other myths:
~ Infertility means you can't get pregnant: this is true, but infertility also covers the repeated loss of pregnancy.

~ Infertility is a female condition: This is not true, of the couples suffering from infertility, approximately 17% are male factor cases.

~ If you get pregnant easily the first time you will not suffer from infertility: Secondary infertility is when you are able to get pregnant and have a baby and then can't get pregnant again.

I never knew what infertility even was until we decided we were ready to have a baby. As I was taught in school I figured all I needed to do was have unprotected sex and I would be pregnant. This in itself to me is a myth, but it is true for many couples. I thought it was true for us when we got pregnant only the 2nd month we tried. We were so excited, and kept the secret for about a week and announced it to all the family at Christmas. It was the best Christmas ever, until two weeks later when I started spotting. I hadn't even had my first OB appointment yet so they sent me for an Ultrasound to check on the pregnancy. There was a baby and it had a heartbeat of 94 bpm. To me this was a good sign, until 2 days later when I started cramping and they sent me for another ultrasound. This time the tech wouldn't show me the screen and I knew there was no heartbeat. I had prepared myself for the news already, but it was still devastating.

Doctors recommendations were to wait for my next cycle before we started crying again. This was fine with me, I needed time to mourn my loss. Again we made an incorrect assumption though. We thought that because we got pregnant so quickly the first time that within a cycle or two we would be pregnant again. Month after month we timed sex, I took my temperature, I used Ovulation Predictor Kits (OPKs), the cheap and the expensive and month after month a new cycle would begin. As we neared my due date for the first pregnancy I decided it was time to take a break. We were going to have sex for fun and if nothing happened I would schedule an appointment to start fertility testing. Not paying attention to my cycle turned out to be much harder than I anticipated so I made sure we were having timed sex. I wasn't even going to test because I was sure it was going to be negative. A few days after my original due date and a few days before our anniversary I decided to test anyway, after all it was becoming a habit. This time though, I didn't even look at the test. I made B go in the bathroom and look for me. I couldn't stand seeing another negative test. To my surprise he came back to the bedroom speechless and just shook his head yes. All of a sudden I was flooded with emotions. Joy, fear, excitement... I didn't know how I really felt.

For more information on infertility please visit http://www.resolve.org/infertility101 and http://www.resolve.org/takecharge. for more information on National Infertility Awareness Week® (NIAW)

A weekend to celebrate!

Saturday was Lillian's second Birthday! So many mixed emotions for mama, as she now calls me. I'm so proud of her, she's growing up so fast, and she's soooo smart, but I miss my baby girl.

We had a birthday party for her with her grandparents, aunt, and her two best friends from the sitters. We planned to have a BBQ and be able to let the kids run around the huge back yard, but the beginning of last week they started calling for rain. The BBQ was moved inside...

and we borrowed the jump house from her sitter

When the boys got there she was so excited to show them around, but when they wanted to play with her toys it was all over! Here she is trying to "play" with all of them while she followed the boys into the other room. We ended up putting the stroller and baby away because her and R couldn't decide who was going to play with them first.

It was so sweet to see her actually blow out her own candle this year.

I wish I had some better pictures to share, but the little stinker was refusing to have her picture taken.

She loved all of her presents! The first bag she opened had the Dora buddy pillow in it. Being that she had only napped for about 10 minutes she grabbed the pillow, headed for the stairs and "I nap". It took quite a bit of convincing to get her to open more presents instead of go take a nap. And about 10 minutes after the guests left this was the scene...

After her party we decided to spend the night at my mom's being that we were just going to be back there for Easter dinner on Sunday anyway. I just loved the dress I found for her for Easter. Here she is playing with her new Camera. That I think she has taken about 100 "pictures" on so far. She's having a bit of a time getting the subject in the picture and pressing the button, but she doesn't care, she can take pictures like mommy!

Another gift she got that she barely stops playing with is her princess beauty set. It had a brush, curling iron, hair dryer, straightener, perfume and lipstick. Her she is with her Aunt Pocca getting her hair done. It was a nice break to not be bent over while she was doing my hair.

It was a very busy and tiring weekend, but it was so much fun!

Damn Computers

At work we don't have the ability to update any program without administration logging into our computer and doing it for us. So I don't worry about updates unless a program won't run without it. Well I do most of my blogging and picture editing on my work computer, my time at home is just too precious to use doing those things. Well I finally had to ask them to upgrade my internet explorer and flash player because I couldn't use sites I like or work on pictures. They say no problem and it's done.

Now the problems start, since then I can only open certain blogs. And even then I get an error saying it won't open some specific part. And at first I thought it was just blogs that use shabbyblog.com for their background. But then I couldn't open mine. Even now that I designed my own background (what do you think?) and I'm using a blogger template, I get an error. I just don't get it and it's pissing me off! And I can't ask IT to fix it or figure out what's wrong cause it isn't work related.

Oh yeah and they've again come out with a new version of flash player so I need to have that upgraded again...

Anyway, the diet I was on was the hcg diet. It was rough and very strict, but totally worth it! I lost 20lbs in 30 days! And so far haven't gained any back. Granted I'm "watching" what I eat, but we all need to be conscious of eating healthy anyway. It certainly taught me a few things about how unhealthy my diet was!

Maintenance

This post probably should have been written about a week ago, but I had so much other stuff going on that was way more important. Last Tuesday I started the Maintenance phase of my diet, so I want to record here my stats:

Day 1: 208.2 lb

Day 3 (load weight): 212.4 lb

Maintenance Day 1: 191.4 lb

That's a loss of 16.8 lb from day 1 and 21 lb from my load weight!

Inches Lost:

Chest: 3.5

Waist: 4.0

Stomach: 2.0

Thighs: 2.5 total

Arms: .5 total

Grand Total: 12.5"!!!

As of today I am still at my weight from the first day of maintenance. This would be a little disappointing considering Monday - Thursday I got up and either did some toning or running. But I also cheated quite heavily on Thursday night. Thursday night was my bowling banquet and it just so happened that Friday was my birthday. So I celebrated. What can I say, a girl needs to get out once in a while. Ok, it wasn't all wild and crazy but I had a blast anyway. After dinner at the banquet my MIL and a girl that bowls with us, A went back to my MIL's house. We played poker for a bit and then my MIL went to bed. Well A and I ended up staying up all night just talking. She's a lot like my little sister and it was great getting to know her better. Even if I still had to go to work. While getting ready for work, I started losing my voice. And throughout the morning it just kept getting worse. This kind of worked in my favor though because I left at 11:30 because I wasn't feeling well. I figured the voice loss was just from drinking and lack of sleep. Well I downed water and caught up on some sleep and on Saturday my voice was even worse. Sunday it seemed to be a little better, well at least my throat didn't hurt when I talked to much anymore, and this morning I thought I sounded better, but B said not really. I'm starting to think that I'm going to have to go to a doctor to get over this congestion I have. My ears are so plugged I can barely hear some times and I'm getting dizzy every time I move my head. Ugh I hate sinuses! Lillian was pretty well behaved this weekend, which was great cause I don't think I could have handled another horrible weekend. She helped me do laundry ALL day yesterday...

She especially loved when I had all of her clothes out in the living room and was sorting and packing away what doesn't fit anymore.

She's wanted to go to bed early lately though. Like last night she wanted to go to bed at 5! And based on how she was acting, she needed to go to bed. But I didn't let her. Instead we went in her room and got out her puzzle book. We've never taking the actual pieces out of the book before, but she loves the touch and feel parts. So last night I decided to take out the pieces. She amazes me how smart she is. She was able to figure out where each piece went, although she had a little trouble understanding how to get the parts that stick out, into the recess it was supposed to go in. She's used the big puzzles where you just slide it about until it goes in. Anyway, after that she wanted a story. Check out the book she brought me...

Oh yes and she had to play dress up to. She is in love with boots. All of her boots!

Maybe I was wrong...

Maybe mommies to give up??? Cause that's exactly what I did last night. I gave up trying to correct inappropiate langue and disrespectful talk. I just completley ignored her when she said bad words or wasn't talking nicely and guess what, she'd say it, not get a response and move on. And if she really needed something and I didn't respond because she didn't use manners, she'd say "excuse me mom" just like she knows she needs to do when I'm talking to someone else. (That's one of the little things she does that makes me think she's a little advanced).

We also started working on some Adult Time. The routine lately has been dinner, bath, PJs and then into mommy and daddy's bed to watch a movie while she fell asleep. Some nights she'd want mommy to lay with her and other's it was daddy, but this was seriously cutting into adult time because most times the parent laying with her would fall asleep before the other one made it into the room. I decided last night that it was time for a change again. So after bath we did our normal PJ routine where she runs around trying to put her own diaper on and then PJs. The diaper she doesn't quite have down as when she pulls the front over her she pulls too hard and pulls the bottom right out from under her, but the PJs she pretty much does all by herslef. Once in a while you get something on backwards, but for being a few weeks away from 2 I think that's pretty good. Anyway, I digress, around 7:40 I asked her if she wanted to rock and read a book with mommy. I have never seen her so enthusiasatic to get into her bedroom. She almost completely forgot about her binkies! And to B's surprise, it only took 20 minutes total for her to pass out! This means that by 8pm B and I were able to spend some adult time together without constantly be interrupted by a toddler!

Mommies Don't Quit

Warning: If you are having trouble TTC, this may not be a post you want to read at this time. Like my subtitle says, the TRUTH about Miscarriage, Motherhood and Secondary Infertility.

Last night was a break down for me. By the time we made the 20 minute drive home from the grocery store I had been called, stupid and a jerk, told "don't talk to me" and "leave me alone" numerous times. By the time we reached the driveway I was frustrated and crying. I called my mom and asked to go over for dinner. And of course my child was pretty much an angel while we were there.

I have read article after article saying that a 2 year old doesn't know how to back talk*. Well I don't believe it. If I tell my daughter "we don't use words like that, they aren't nice" she yells back to me "NO, Don't talk to me mom!" So I will say something like "You shouldn't talk to mommy that way." or "I'm your mommy and I will talk to you."

When she's freaking out because something isn't going her way I try to get her to calm down by sitting with me and talking about it, but that just creates an even bigger issue because she doesn't want to sit with me. I don't think she quite understands the concept of time out yet. It bothers her to have to sit there, but she doesn't relate why she's sitting there with what she did, even when I explain it to her.

She will get mad and bring her hand up like she is going to hit me and I will tell her "hitting isn't nice. Would you like it if mommy hit you?" Her new response is "Yes hit me mommy."

We have used spanking a few times and while it gets her attention, it has thinking that any time something she doesn't like happens, or when she can't get something to work, she can "spank". Her poor dolls have been abused because she can't get the size 4 diaper to fit them and because she tries putting a toddler sized blanket on her doll stroller and pushing it. I don't want her thinking that any time some one makes her mad she can hit them because "It's a spanking".

I refuse to give up though, I will NOT be a mommy on Nanny 911 and I will NOT have a child that runs my house. I don't know how I will accomplish this yet, but I will. I WILL NOT GIVE UP!

* Yes I know moat people think their kids are advanced in some way, but do not believe my daughter has the inteligence of a 2 year old. I believe she is some where near 2 1/2 or 3 when it comes to comprehension and language. And this is not my own opinion, her pediatrition can't believe the conversations she can have for such a young age and neither can most strangers we run into at the store.

Adult Time...

There doesn't seem to be enough of it around these parts lately. I find myself struggling with my feelings as a mother and wife and wondering what I can do to get that "I have everything" feeling back. I know I have everything, but something inside is telling me that there is something missing.

I know part of it is the lack of adult time. "You've lost that loving feeling..."* is running through my head because I think that's what I'm lacking. I know I am very loved by my husband and I love him very much too, but knowing it and feeling it are two different things. Well at least to most women. Everything has just become so systematic lately that there doesn't even seem to be time for those little "I love you" glances where you just look at each other and know. And it's funny because he tells me he loves me all the time. So now I want to "Bring back that loving feeling..." and I think the only way to do it is make some adult time.

I think our bowling leagues have ended at the right time and our couples spring league can't start soon enough. Two weeks seems too far away! How do you incorporate "adult time" into your life? What do you do with your love to keep your connection?

* That Loving Feeling by Righteous Brothers

You Pick

I have thought of so many titles I could use for this post. 1. Can't Type... 2. Nanny 911! 3. Adult Time? 4. Assvice 5. Terrible Twos? I could keep going, but really it doesn't matter. It was a trying weekend again. And in all reality it was most likely just a combination of several things. I have once again realized how dependant I am on my "happy pills" and as much as I hate it I am going to learn to get over it. I forgot to take them for several days due to my routine being off and it culminated yesterday in several out burst of tears, from my own eyes. Saturday Lillian and I went shopping for her birthday party supplies. Considering her independent stage and being surrounded by everything a kid wants, things went considerably well. When we went to Tar.get for some other things, we had a small melt down in the toy section because she wanted the baby doll, and if there is one thing this girl has plenty of, it's baby dolls. Lunch at Frien.dly's involved some mouthing off and whining, but taking everything away from her and telling her she wasn't getting it back until she could be polite and ask nicely seemed to solve things. Over all I would consider it a successful trip to the mall. She's acted better and worse. Sunday was a cluster of yard work, more shopping, house work and toddler fits. We started the day all excited to go out and work in the yard. We quickly realized that Lillian wanted to help with EVERYTHING! Of course her push lawn mower from last year was not satisfying her since we were raking and using the riding lawn mower. So it was off to the store to find Lillian a rake and some gardening supplies for me. This trip only resulted in one tantrum because I wouldn't let her just sit in the kids' recliners at the store while I shopped. Not quite short lived, but I picked her up and went on about my business ignoring her. When we finally made it home she had passed out so I left her sleeping in the car while B and I continued working on the yard. When she woke up she was very excited to help rake. But later when we were in the house and I was trying to do hook up my printer and then work on laundry she was continually throwing fits. Over everything. If something didn't work just right she was throwing things and screaming. I couldn't get her to calm down and it wore on me quickly. Any time I told her no she was mouthy and acting like she was going to hit me (though she doesn't because I ask her if she wants me to hit her). I feel like one of those mom's on a Nanny show that can't control her kid and the kid rules the family. I refuse to be one of those mom's, but I don't know what to do with her. She is constantly telling me "No" and yelling. And she only does this with me and B. None of the grandparents or anyone ever sees it! Is this just the terrible twos??? Any advice is welcome. Oh and on a plus side, Lillian asked to use the potty yesterday and actually peed!!! Well this post is long and boring enough, I'll get to Adult time later...

I call Bulls@$!

I do not believe my daughter is suffering from night terrors. I have had a horrible cold with aches, pains and come and go fever since Sunday. I believe this is what my daughter had and I don't care what the doctor said. Lillian hasn't woken in the night screaming since the night I took her to the doctor. I think today I may finally be starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel with this cold. It has gone from aches and pains and sinus headache, to can't breathe out my nose cause it's stuffed and running (yup I was the hot girl at work with a tissue stuck up her nose) to today sore throat from not being able to breathe. As you can see in my ticker, this cold has been helping me in the diet area. Only 5 days left until I can start eating half way normal again and I've lost almost 20 lbs! My goal is to lose another 3lbs in the next 5 days. And if I continue to not even want to eat anything that just may be possible. This post nasal drip has me feeling sick to my stomach most of the day so eating isn't even appealing! If you made it through that, in other news, I did accomplish a few more things this week. I designed Lillian's Birthday T-shirt:

It probably has a copyright issue, but I'm not selling it or profiting from it in any way, unlike some of the ones I found on the web for $20+. I'm guessing those people don't have a copyright to it, so I think I'm ok. And her tutu is almost finished. Light pink and purple with the bright blue of Dora's bracelet for the trim. I also got the white shirt and leggings from W.almart last night for $7. I think total her outfit is going to cost me about $10, YAY me!!! I can't wait to post pictures of her in her outfit! Oh and we've been talking with Lilly about the Binkie Bunny and how he's going to come and take Lilly's Binkie so he can give it to another little baby. I try to talk about it every time she's asking for it. I'm going to either try and replace it with a Dora doll or a Dora blanket, which ever I can fit into my budget between now and then. The weekend is almost here, hang in there folks!

Stress...

That seems to describe my life lately. The problem is, figuring out where the stress is coming from.

I really think that everyday life is stressful to some extent and that it has just been a little extra stressful in most areas this past week. I won't bore you with Husband irritations or Daughter attitudes, because really it's just the same old, same old.

I did have a small sense of accomplishment on Friday when I got Lillian's Birthday Party invitations sent out. I also did my Easter shopping. This year for Lillian's Easter basket I decided to get something useful. She is getting a Little People Bus Wagon with blocks in it and a few plastic Easter Eggs filled with some M&Ms. Much more practical than your everyday basket.

And Being that her Birthday is the day before Easter this year I didn't think she really needs much. I also got a few things for her Birthday party. It's going to be a Dora themed Barbecue. If anyone has some suggestions on BBQ food to fit the Dora theme I'd love to hear them!

This weekend was a shower for my friends Heather and Ali that just welcomed their little girl Shaelan.

And yes, I was the fool that almost gave them an outfit that said "Daddy's Star". Thankfully I noticed it while I was wrapping it and didn't. Then yesterday I don't know if I came down with the flu or if it's just a bad sinus cold, but I feel horrible! Achy and my heads all stuffed up, no energy and I don't really even want to move. My husband was nice enough to go do my grocery shopping for me and then take Lillian to my MILs so I could get some rest. Of course I'm at work today even though I probably shouldn't be. I only have 5 vacation days left until August and I'll be damned if I'm going to spend them sick in bed!

The diet is going ok. I'm proud of myself for the strength I've shown over the last week. Several times I wanted to break down and didn't. Although on Saturday because of the shower I did eat off plan. But it was the only thing I ate all day and I didn't even gain half a lb back. And then with feeling so sick yesterday all I ate all day was an Orange Dream Slushy, which is on plan, so this morning I woke up to a nice # that is my pre-pregnancy weight!