Tuesday, June 9, 2009

The Beginning of a few rants... Consideration

I'm a little annoyed with my husband. OK, make that a lot annoyed.

Back when we were trying to get pregnant we both decided that we were going to quit smoking when it happened. Well when it finally happened I of course quit the second the test was positive, well technically it was the night before when I had my last cigarette. Anyway, he didn't quit and continued to smoke in front of me until I finally blew up at him. Then he basically just quit smoking in front of me. At one point he said he was trying to quit, but hanging out with the boys made it impossible. This is when he started trying to tell me that he wasn't smoking, but I knew he was. I didn't really say much about it because I appreciated the fact that at least he wasn't smoking in front of me.

Well then he said that once she got here he was definitely going to quit completely. Well he didn't, but again had the consideration not to do it in front of me. But the part I hate is that he's lying to me about it. He's telling me he isn't smoking when I know he is. And the part that really kills me is that he's started smoking pot again. I think this bothers me the most because it is something I'm strongly against and I told him before he even proposed to me that I'm not ok with it and if he didn't plan on quiting then not to bother marrying me. Now before you say "well why'd you marry him if he didn't quit?" He did quit, but now he's working with a guy (who also happens to live below us) that smokes on a daily basis and apparently he can't tell his friends no. This really upsets me. I don't mind so much if its a once in a great while thing, but for a week he came home high every night and then tried to tell me that he wasn't and I didn't know what I was talking about.

Then that weekend we stayed at my mom's camp I found out that he had some on him and offered it to her DF. So they got high while they were out fishing. That night when we were all drinking (after I found out that he was smoking both that day) he couldn't resist the urge to have a cigarette. I was so mad at him for even thinking about smoking in front of me. I find it harder now not to smoke than I did in the beginning because I don't have her growing inside me anymore. I just thought this was something that we were going to do together and support each other and well, he's not. So when we got home from camping and I was getting the laundry ready and checking the pockets I found rolling papers in his pants pocket. I held them up and just looked at him (he didn't know at the time that I knew he was smoking). He said to me "I wonder how long they've been there?" Oh if Lilly hadn't been in the room...

So the other night when he was drunk he says to me "I'm not gonna lie, I bought a pack of cigarettes tonight and I smoked while I was downstairs." I just said "Oh really? I couldn't tell." The next evening when he was sober I told him that I'm not an idiot like he seems to think I am. I know when he smokes at work and any other time. He now once again says he wants to quit smoking. Can't wait to see how long it lasts this time...


  1. Given my current marital situation, I probably shouldn't even comment on this; but in my head there are cuss words and clenched fists and many other unpleasant things. You should be able to expect more from the person that made a vow to love and respect you all the days of your life. Deception and selfishness do not fall under love or respect

  2. Brandi:

    I understand your frustration completely. My hubby is also a smoker, and I have asked him to please quit, on several occassions. We welcomed our little guy back in April, and it bothers me that he will hold the baby after just coming in from having a cigerette. With him being deployed right now, I know that he isn't ligtening up on the habit, most likely he is smoking more. So when he returns home, I will have him smoking more often. (Thank God, he doesn't smoke in the house!) It's super frustrating when your spouse has difficulty being honest. I have experienced the same with my hubby, but not for the same reason. I wish I had some good words of advice for you, especially about the pot!

    BTW, love your graphics on the side about BF.. I may have to "borrw" a couple for my blog. I'm a nursing mommy too. :)

  3. Hi Brandi,

    I know how you feel! I quit smoking about 4 months into my pregnancy with Aaron. I wanted to quit sooner but hey at least I quit right? Well, my hubby continued to smoke. I really wish he wouldn't. He would smoke in front of me as well until I made him go outside to smoke. He is STILL smoking even though he told me 5 months ago that he wanted to quit as well...I guess you can't push it too much or force it, or they never will. They have to want to do it. I don't know what to say however about the pot...I guess maybe bring it up to him again how much it bothers you? I hope everything works out ok for you two.

  4. !@#$%&*^!!! You would think after everything ya'll have been through, the least he could do is keep his promises! Not to mention the health benefits for Lilly!! MEN!

  5. Brandi, coming from an ex smoker I know how hard it is and I know weve talked about it on TLT. Hang in there and know you CAN stay smoke free. B needs a serious arse kicking to straighten him out. He really should be more respectful and supportive for you AND Lilly! *hugs*


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