That's how I started feeling last night and it's not subsiding. . .
I was so happy yesterday when I realized I was going to be able to leave work early. J (my friend coming to visit) hadn't sent me a message yet saying that she was leaving and that meant I was going to have 2 hours before she got here. I was going to be able to figure out what we were going to do and take a nap. But then on my way home I get a message saying she was only an hour away. I wanted to cry, there went my nap. I get home and B had picked up the kitchen, but failed to clean up the bathroom that was disgusting. So I start cleaning the bathroom and crying. I was exhausted and in severe need of rest, but I couldn't sleep while J was here. So B tells me to go take a nap while I can. I go lay down but can't stop crying. I was tired, all I wanted to do was sleep, but I had a friend driving two hours to visit me and I had no idea what we were going to do because my energy was so low and I was afraid she was going to have a terrible time.
I did manage to get a short nap before she got here. And we ended up going to visit my mom and family up at her camp. It was a great deal for them because it's an hour drive from my place and they had a DD. Some how I managed to make it til 2 in the morning before I had to go to bed.
In the night our dog woke me up at 3 to be let out and then at 7:30 B's friend called because he was bored. I couldn't fall back asleep so up I got. Around 9 J and her BF N got up. At 11 we went to lunch. On the way there I started to get that overwhelming feeling of exhaustion again. By the time we got back home I had no choice but to lay down. I slept for 2 hours I think, but woke up still feeling exhausted. I'm not sure if it is lack of sleep from all week or sleeping too long during my nap, but I just want to go to bed again and it's only 5.
In other news (which may be way too much, but I need advice) is that I'm having loose bowel movements. Is this normal or do you think I should call the doctor? It's weird cause it's not a lot when I go and it's only maybe twice a day after I eat, but I don't know if it's something to call the doctor about or not. I was constipated last time. What do you think?
I am feeling quite confident in this pregnancy again though. I'm so excited and can't wait for the weeks to keep ticking by, less than 3 weeks to my first appointment!
PS - I never thought I'd talk about my bathroom habits to the entire world!!!
Saturday, August 30, 2008
Friday, August 29, 2008
5 Weeks!!!
Well there's one more week down! I started freaking out lat night cause I've had a continuous feeling down there. I don't want to say it's a cramp cause it doesn't hurt really, its more of just an annoying feeling. Of course B wasn't home with me so it made things worse for me.
Even though I was so exhausted after work yesterday I went to the mall and got some books:
Belly Laughs, cause I've heard nothing but good things about it
Your Pregnancy Week by Week, because I can't help but want all the information I can get.
Mayo Clinic Guide to a Healthy Pregnancy - mainly because I love the actual size pictures and I think it will be a great reference book for both B and I assuming I can get him to read it.
Now my next question, why are all the Dad-To-Be books written by men. I want a book that explains to my husband the things I need him to understand about my feelings and what I'm going through. Not advice like "Tell her you quit smoking and find a really good place to hide those cigarettes" Are you kidding me!!!
Ok enough of that. I also bought new sheets and a quilt for our new bed, I'm so excited! The sheets were on sale, 2 king sets of 300 count for only $60. Most of the 200 count 1 sets were at least $40. I suppose we didn't need the quilt because we already have a king comforter that my MIL got us for Christmas, but it's heavy and I'm not ready for that yet!
Now I need your opinions! I have changed the image above my posts to a fetus growth chart this week, and I also found a neat ticker that gives the important date (the pic in the corner changes with the weeks I believe, maybe months) but I'm not sure how I should set it up. So vote so I don't have to make a decision, LOL!
Even though I was so exhausted after work yesterday I went to the mall and got some books:
Belly Laughs, cause I've heard nothing but good things about it
Your Pregnancy Week by Week, because I can't help but want all the information I can get.
Mayo Clinic Guide to a Healthy Pregnancy - mainly because I love the actual size pictures and I think it will be a great reference book for both B and I assuming I can get him to read it.
Now my next question, why are all the Dad-To-Be books written by men. I want a book that explains to my husband the things I need him to understand about my feelings and what I'm going through. Not advice like "Tell her you quit smoking and find a really good place to hide those cigarettes" Are you kidding me!!!
Ok enough of that. I also bought new sheets and a quilt for our new bed, I'm so excited! The sheets were on sale, 2 king sets of 300 count for only $60. Most of the 200 count 1 sets were at least $40. I suppose we didn't need the quilt because we already have a king comforter that my MIL got us for Christmas, but it's heavy and I'm not ready for that yet!
Now I need your opinions! I have changed the image above my posts to a fetus growth chart this week, and I also found a neat ticker that gives the important date (the pic in the corner changes with the weeks I believe, maybe months) but I'm not sure how I should set it up. So vote so I don't have to make a decision, LOL!
Thursday, August 28, 2008
King Sized
The 3rd time I woke up Tuesday night between 9:30 and 11:45 I had had enough. At that moment I decided it was time to get a bigger bed. Apparently B finds it impossible to sleep on only half of the bed. And heaven forbid I wake him up because I have no room. My mission yesterday became getting the perfect bed.
During my lunch hour I stopped at Big Lots. They are currently having a sale on mattresses, but the largest size they had was Queen, and they really weren't anything special. I went back to work and searched the difference in size of a Full compared to a Queen - a whole 6 inches! Are you kidding me? I'm not spending $300 on 6 inches!!! So after work I went to Metro Mattress. There I laid on 3 beds and had my made up. The first one was amazing, but was something like $3,400. Couldn't go that high. But I did get a King with a memory foam pillow top, box spring, frame (simple metal, no headboard or anything), a mattress protector and delivery for $2,200. Still way more than what I wanted to spend, but will be worth it in the end. Oh and it has a 15 year warranty. I can't wait til it gets here in a week.
Last night I got maybe 4 hours of sleep and I'm feeling like crap today. I shouldn't even be at work I don't think. My eyes burn just from pure exhaustion. But I don't have much of a choice, there's so much going this week that I'm deeply involved in. I may go home in an hour and see if I can get some sleep for a bit though.
During my lunch hour I stopped at Big Lots. They are currently having a sale on mattresses, but the largest size they had was Queen, and they really weren't anything special. I went back to work and searched the difference in size of a Full compared to a Queen - a whole 6 inches! Are you kidding me? I'm not spending $300 on 6 inches!!! So after work I went to Metro Mattress. There I laid on 3 beds and had my made up. The first one was amazing, but was something like $3,400. Couldn't go that high. But I did get a King with a memory foam pillow top, box spring, frame (simple metal, no headboard or anything), a mattress protector and delivery for $2,200. Still way more than what I wanted to spend, but will be worth it in the end. Oh and it has a 15 year warranty. I can't wait til it gets here in a week.
Last night I got maybe 4 hours of sleep and I'm feeling like crap today. I shouldn't even be at work I don't think. My eyes burn just from pure exhaustion. But I don't have much of a choice, there's so much going this week that I'm deeply involved in. I may go home in an hour and see if I can get some sleep for a bit though.
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
Flip Flopping
That seems to be what I've been doing since last night. Between thinking things are going great to thinking something is wrong. I guess it started because last night I felt better than I had in a few weeks. I was able to eat, even though I couldn't decided on anything and just forced myself to pick, and I ate quite a bit. But I didn't have any indigestion or heartburn after, which I suppose could be from sitting up for so long after. But I guess what bothers me the most is that I am noticing no changes in my breasts. Some times I will get some pains in them, but they are never sore to the touch or anything, and they certainly aren't growing. I guess this bothers me the most because they didn't last time either. I suppose it could be too early, but the WTE book says typically a full cup size in the first month. I guess I'm just not sure what they consider the first month to be. 4 week gestation maybe? They don't really say. One other thing that is probably way too much information is that my bowels have been kinda loose the last two days, when I was kinda constipated before. Could this just be the lack of food and the increase in water?
On the other hand, my numbers are quite good I guess (based on dr.), I still feel sick when I wake up in the night, I have that nasty taste in my mouth and I have a stretching feeling in my nether regions (which I can understand cause I can believe how swollen looking it is). I also have that heavy bloated feeling in my whole stomach. Oh and did I mention emotional?
Last night the tiredness hit me around 6:30 or 7. I was texting my best friend back and forth and all of a sudden I didn't even want to pick up my phone let alone press buttons. At 8 I went and brushed the teeth and used that terrible yeast infection cream. By 9 I was asleep. Problem was I woke up for the 3rd time at 11:45. I just laid there and cried. Twice was because B elbowed me in the back and the other time I just woke up. It's terrible, all I want is a good nights sleep. Luckily for the first time in a week, I got 4 straight hours of sleep after that. Tonight after work I will be going to look at new mattresses. There is no way we are going to continue sleeping in that bed if my belly is going to get bigger!
So here I sit, willing Peanut to grow and wishing I could sleep until September 19th.
On the other hand, my numbers are quite good I guess (based on dr.), I still feel sick when I wake up in the night, I have that nasty taste in my mouth and I have a stretching feeling in my nether regions (which I can understand cause I can believe how swollen looking it is). I also have that heavy bloated feeling in my whole stomach. Oh and did I mention emotional?
Last night the tiredness hit me around 6:30 or 7. I was texting my best friend back and forth and all of a sudden I didn't even want to pick up my phone let alone press buttons. At 8 I went and brushed the teeth and used that terrible yeast infection cream. By 9 I was asleep. Problem was I woke up for the 3rd time at 11:45. I just laid there and cried. Twice was because B elbowed me in the back and the other time I just woke up. It's terrible, all I want is a good nights sleep. Luckily for the first time in a week, I got 4 straight hours of sleep after that. Tonight after work I will be going to look at new mattresses. There is no way we are going to continue sleeping in that bed if my belly is going to get bigger!
So here I sit, willing Peanut to grow and wishing I could sleep until September 19th.
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Doctor's Office Finally Called
So I called the office yesterday afternoon and they said the doctor wasn't there to read the results, but the numbers went up. I was like ok, not sure how good that is, but it's better than them going down. She said she'd have the Doctor look this morning and then call.
I figured I'd give them til noon. Well they called. She said that my numbers are looking really good for how early I am. But to remember that it's still early and it just means things are good now. Like last time, my numbers went up in the beginning, but obviously started to fall around 7 weeks. Anyway, I'm happy and have a great feeling, especially with all that's going on with my body.
My first prenatal appointment is September 19th and then on October 1st I'll meet with Dr. W. I hope I like her! If not I should be able to switch back to my old one.
As for how I'm feeling, I don't want to eat a thing. I'm not hungry and nothing ever sounds good. I have to force myself to eat. The good thing is that I'm not regurgitating when I put down there (yet). Still have some cramping/stretching feeling, it's weird how it's different than AF cramps though. I tire easily, but have a hard time sleeping for extended periods of time. I still have indigestion/heartburn, especially at night.
Oh and the nurse said she'd talk to Dr. W and call in a prescription for my infection.
And I almost forgot, I've also done my own "beta testing"...
I figured I'd give them til noon. Well they called. She said that my numbers are looking really good for how early I am. But to remember that it's still early and it just means things are good now. Like last time, my numbers went up in the beginning, but obviously started to fall around 7 weeks. Anyway, I'm happy and have a great feeling, especially with all that's going on with my body.
My first prenatal appointment is September 19th and then on October 1st I'll meet with Dr. W. I hope I like her! If not I should be able to switch back to my old one.
As for how I'm feeling, I don't want to eat a thing. I'm not hungry and nothing ever sounds good. I have to force myself to eat. The good thing is that I'm not regurgitating when I put down there (yet). Still have some cramping/stretching feeling, it's weird how it's different than AF cramps though. I tire easily, but have a hard time sleeping for extended periods of time. I still have indigestion/heartburn, especially at night.
Oh and the nurse said she'd talk to Dr. W and call in a prescription for my infection.
And I almost forgot, I've also done my own "beta testing"...
They were all taken with FMU (First Morning Urine) on days 14, 16 and 18 dpo. That last one definitely looks a lot darker to me! I'm so glad I have like 10 more. Lets see, every two days gets me to 7 weeks anyway!
Monday, August 25, 2008
Thanks and Sorry
To all the ICLW people!!! I feel terrible cause I haven't been leaving messages. I thought my computer was going to be delivered Friday, but it wasn't. It won't be there until today, so I had no way to read or comment! I'm going to try and catch up this afternoon when I get home!
I also want to thank everyone for the well wishes, it means a lot to me. Things are going good so far, except I think I may have an infection. I'm going to make an appointment with the Dr. today when they call with my beta results. I'll be sure to keep you all updated on the results!!!
I also want to thank everyone for the well wishes, it means a lot to me. Things are going good so far, except I think I may have an infection. I'm going to make an appointment with the Dr. today when they call with my beta results. I'll be sure to keep you all updated on the results!!!
Friday, August 22, 2008
The Big Day...
Well ladies, I tested this morning like I said I would. Here's the story...
Last night when I went to bed I had some cramps, I decided I wasn't going to test this morning. Then I woke up this morning and thought, well I did tell everyone I was and I'm not in terrible pain. So I went in the bathroom and PIAC (Peed In A Cup), but I couldn't bring myself to test. I left the cup in the cabinet while I was in the shower. Then I finally said to myself just do it. So I finish my shower and use a cheapie (which I apparently have like 10 of). I think I see a faint line, but then again I've thought I've seen that line before. So I say what the hell I'll pull out the last digi I have from when I was pregnant. I dipped it in the cup but couldn't bring myself to look at it. I went and woke DH up and told him "I took a pregnancy test, but I can't look at it, when you go in will you read it for me?" Of course he said yes. So I go on about my morning and I'm watching the weather and he comes in and kisses me. I just looked at him and said "What did it say?"
I am in complete shock! This couldn't have happened at a better time. Our anniversary was last Sunday and my due date for our first baby is on Monday. I'm so happy to have something to celebrate.
And thank you everyone for sending baby dust my way, I hope this one sticks!!!
I'm just beside myself. I'll probably edit this later, but this will have to do for now!
Last night when I went to bed I had some cramps, I decided I wasn't going to test this morning. Then I woke up this morning and thought, well I did tell everyone I was and I'm not in terrible pain. So I went in the bathroom and PIAC (Peed In A Cup), but I couldn't bring myself to test. I left the cup in the cabinet while I was in the shower. Then I finally said to myself just do it. So I finish my shower and use a cheapie (which I apparently have like 10 of). I think I see a faint line, but then again I've thought I've seen that line before. So I say what the hell I'll pull out the last digi I have from when I was pregnant. I dipped it in the cup but couldn't bring myself to look at it. I went and woke DH up and told him "I took a pregnancy test, but I can't look at it, when you go in will you read it for me?" Of course he said yes. So I go on about my morning and I'm watching the weather and he comes in and kisses me. I just looked at him and said "What did it say?"
I am in complete shock! This couldn't have happened at a better time. Our anniversary was last Sunday and my due date for our first baby is on Monday. I'm so happy to have something to celebrate.
And thank you everyone for sending baby dust my way, I hope this one sticks!!!
I'm just beside myself. I'll probably edit this later, but this will have to do for now!
Thursday, August 21, 2008
Long Day
Yesterday was soo long and it's going to make today seem even longer!
My mom picked me up around 10:30 to go to her house and help packing my sister's things in the van. Surprisingly it wasn't really that bad. We stopped and had lunch before we got on the highway and it was only a 45 minute drive there. When we got there all we had to do was take her stuff out of the van and put it on the sidewalk. Then students came with those plastic dumpsters on wheels and hauled all the stuff up to the room for us. We didn't have to lug everything up the stairs one trip at a time, it was great!!! It took forever to figure out how they want the room situated, but we finally got it done. Around 6 we stopped unpacking and went and got something to eat, then walked to CVS for some stuff, but they didn't have everything, so then we stopped and got frozen yogurt on the way back (I found my new favorite place by the way, cake batter flavored shake!). Then it was decided that we had to drive to K-Mart because she couldn't live without a TV cable for the night. So that was another hour. Finally around 10 I convinced my mother that we had to go. It was 11 by the time I got to bed.
And let me say I was very unhappy when I got home! B left a pan with noodles in it on the stove. The package from the noodles on the counter, a jar of venison meat on the counter and a bunch of dishes in the sink. He was home all night, why couldn't he have cleaned up after himself. So I washed the dishes this morning. Does anyone else have an issue of waking up to a messy kitchen. I hate seeing dirty dishes and garbage on the counters in the morning. Even if I don't need to make anything, I want it clean!
I suppose some people are wondering what's going on Baby wise. Well I'm either 12 or 13 dpo today. I'm not really sure if I think AF is coming or not. I'll probably test in the morning anyway, I think I've done pretty good waiting to test. But even now, I'm only testing because we are probably going to camp this weekend. So far my symptoms haven't changed, but there's been an addition of a sore throat (happened last time cause my nose was stuffy at night) and my nipple was a little tender this morning when I was drying off. Both can be explained by a cold and PMS. So needless to say I still don't have my hopes up. I'll be sure to let you all know what happens in the morning.
**Edit - I have to add because I'm so excited... My computer should be back tomorrow!!! It was picked up Monday night around 5 and should be back tomorrow! They told me 7 to 10 business days from when the place recieved it! I guess it makes up for this hastle.
My mom picked me up around 10:30 to go to her house and help packing my sister's things in the van. Surprisingly it wasn't really that bad. We stopped and had lunch before we got on the highway and it was only a 45 minute drive there. When we got there all we had to do was take her stuff out of the van and put it on the sidewalk. Then students came with those plastic dumpsters on wheels and hauled all the stuff up to the room for us. We didn't have to lug everything up the stairs one trip at a time, it was great!!! It took forever to figure out how they want the room situated, but we finally got it done. Around 6 we stopped unpacking and went and got something to eat, then walked to CVS for some stuff, but they didn't have everything, so then we stopped and got frozen yogurt on the way back (I found my new favorite place by the way, cake batter flavored shake!). Then it was decided that we had to drive to K-Mart because she couldn't live without a TV cable for the night. So that was another hour. Finally around 10 I convinced my mother that we had to go. It was 11 by the time I got to bed.
And let me say I was very unhappy when I got home! B left a pan with noodles in it on the stove. The package from the noodles on the counter, a jar of venison meat on the counter and a bunch of dishes in the sink. He was home all night, why couldn't he have cleaned up after himself. So I washed the dishes this morning. Does anyone else have an issue of waking up to a messy kitchen. I hate seeing dirty dishes and garbage on the counters in the morning. Even if I don't need to make anything, I want it clean!
I suppose some people are wondering what's going on Baby wise. Well I'm either 12 or 13 dpo today. I'm not really sure if I think AF is coming or not. I'll probably test in the morning anyway, I think I've done pretty good waiting to test. But even now, I'm only testing because we are probably going to camp this weekend. So far my symptoms haven't changed, but there's been an addition of a sore throat (happened last time cause my nose was stuffy at night) and my nipple was a little tender this morning when I was drying off. Both can be explained by a cold and PMS. So needless to say I still don't have my hopes up. I'll be sure to let you all know what happens in the morning.
**Edit - I have to add because I'm so excited... My computer should be back tomorrow!!! It was picked up Monday night around 5 and should be back tomorrow! They told me 7 to 10 business days from when the place recieved it! I guess it makes up for this hastle.
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
Ummmm
So I had a great title all picked out on my way to work today, but I can't remember what it was now. Ok in all honesty I pretty much had my whole blog written in my head and can't remember now. Do you ever do that, write your blog in your head and then forget when it's time to get it on the screen?
My laptop at home was picked up last night to go to the doctors. I miss it already. We have a PC too, but B informed me that it doesn't work anymore. He thinks lightening hit the power strip cause that doesn't work either. I don't know though, don't really care, I want my laptop back! (Throws herself to the ground flailing her arms and legs).
Besides that not much going on. I'm becoming quite irritable and moody. Could be considered normal though. Last night I had a head ache when I got home so I didn't do much of anything until 7pm. I got up and cooked the fish for dinner and B came home from his friend's house and said he didn't want fish again. I can't say I blamed him, but it needed to be cooked before it went bad. So after cooking I once again did all the dishes. He made himself sloppy joes. All he had to do was put his left overs in a bowl and in the fridge and wash his pot, spoon and fork. But do you think he did that, no!!! I was extremely irritated by this this morning. It took me a whole 5 minutes to do it. Not to mention that I get up first (no big deal, takes me longer to get ready) well our hamper is right next to the bedroom door and he sleeps next to the door so I have to walk around the bed, past two dressers and the hamper to get out in the dark. Well he has a pile of clothes sitting in front of my dresser, I managed to miss cause it's been there a few days. But then he had his t-shirt he had been wearing right in the middle of the door way and next to the laundry basket. Come on now! Why couldn't you have made sure it was in the basket so that I didn't have to worry about tripping over it this morning. Then he walked over it about 50 times before he picked it up. Oh I wanted to yell at him, but I didn't. He hasn't done anything but sweep the floor once in the last two weeks. I'm starting to think that he thinks that because he's working, he doesn't have to do any chores. The only reason he unloaded the Jeep (From our camping trip two weeks ago) last night was because he wanted to go get a computer monitor.
Ok enough of that. In TTC new, there isn't much going on. I don't even have the urge to test, much like I haven't even though about temping until a friend left me a message this morning saying she couldn't believe how well I was doing with not temping.
Here's my list of IPS just in case:
-Headaches off and on, some sharp pains other dull aches
-Fatigue, could be from mono or just PMS
-Gassy, but some times I think I'm like this all the time now
-Nausea, comes and goes, some times worse than other, could also be mono
I think that's about it. Sorry I haven't been much fun to read lately. I have to get my silly side back!
My laptop at home was picked up last night to go to the doctors. I miss it already. We have a PC too, but B informed me that it doesn't work anymore. He thinks lightening hit the power strip cause that doesn't work either. I don't know though, don't really care, I want my laptop back! (Throws herself to the ground flailing her arms and legs).
Besides that not much going on. I'm becoming quite irritable and moody. Could be considered normal though. Last night I had a head ache when I got home so I didn't do much of anything until 7pm. I got up and cooked the fish for dinner and B came home from his friend's house and said he didn't want fish again. I can't say I blamed him, but it needed to be cooked before it went bad. So after cooking I once again did all the dishes. He made himself sloppy joes. All he had to do was put his left overs in a bowl and in the fridge and wash his pot, spoon and fork. But do you think he did that, no!!! I was extremely irritated by this this morning. It took me a whole 5 minutes to do it. Not to mention that I get up first (no big deal, takes me longer to get ready) well our hamper is right next to the bedroom door and he sleeps next to the door so I have to walk around the bed, past two dressers and the hamper to get out in the dark. Well he has a pile of clothes sitting in front of my dresser, I managed to miss cause it's been there a few days. But then he had his t-shirt he had been wearing right in the middle of the door way and next to the laundry basket. Come on now! Why couldn't you have made sure it was in the basket so that I didn't have to worry about tripping over it this morning. Then he walked over it about 50 times before he picked it up. Oh I wanted to yell at him, but I didn't. He hasn't done anything but sweep the floor once in the last two weeks. I'm starting to think that he thinks that because he's working, he doesn't have to do any chores. The only reason he unloaded the Jeep (From our camping trip two weeks ago) last night was because he wanted to go get a computer monitor.
Ok enough of that. In TTC new, there isn't much going on. I don't even have the urge to test, much like I haven't even though about temping until a friend left me a message this morning saying she couldn't believe how well I was doing with not temping.
Here's my list of IPS just in case:
-Headaches off and on, some sharp pains other dull aches
-Fatigue, could be from mono or just PMS
-Gassy, but some times I think I'm like this all the time now
-Nausea, comes and goes, some times worse than other, could also be mono
I think that's about it. Sorry I haven't been much fun to read lately. I have to get my silly side back!
Monday, August 18, 2008
I'm sorry...
If I disappointed any of my readers on Saturday. I was having a terrible day, well it was extending from Thursday night, but anyway. Saturday I spent most of the day in my "new" recliner watching movies and half crocheting because I felt like I was going to be sick and was very week. I once again thought it was mono. I'm still not sure what it is cause it keeps coming and going. Yes you may all be thinking, maybe it's pregnancy symptoms, but I'm pretty sure it's not. I don't know why I think that, but I just do. I won't say that I didn't mean it though. I have the worst timing in the world apparently. I've given up so many nights so just to get AF the next day. The worst one was when I drove 2 hours to see my friends from school. Watched them get stupid drunk, just to get back to my room and find AF waiting for me. I see these people maybe once a year and missed my chance to party with them like they wanted because of the "maybe baby". It's hard.
So what I've decided is that I'm not even telling B when AF arrives this time (that is if he can't tell by my mood). Next month I'm just taking it as it comes. No trying (of course not preventing either), no checking CM or CP or OPKs or any other acronym we use so affectionately. I will be seeing the doctor at the end of August for my annual exam and I will be talking to him about not getting pregnant, and the safest way to quit smoking while still TTC.
Oh and I just have to share what a girl said today...
...Im off my BC and am going to try for a June 2009 baby we r going to wait out this cycle due to having 2 birthdays in may as is lol....did any one else start picking out maternity clothes and pt before you even got pregnant....
Oh the confidence to think you were going to be able to pick the month your baby is born. And it's a good think I didn't pick out maternity clothes before I got pregnant or there would be a great chance they would be for the wrong season! Although, I'm coming up on my year and they would be back to the right season.
So what I've decided is that I'm not even telling B when AF arrives this time (that is if he can't tell by my mood). Next month I'm just taking it as it comes. No trying (of course not preventing either), no checking CM or CP or OPKs or any other acronym we use so affectionately. I will be seeing the doctor at the end of August for my annual exam and I will be talking to him about not getting pregnant, and the safest way to quit smoking while still TTC.
Oh and I just have to share what a girl said today...
...Im off my BC and am going to try for a June 2009 baby we r going to wait out this cycle due to having 2 birthdays in may as is lol....did any one else start picking out maternity clothes and pt before you even got pregnant....
Oh the confidence to think you were going to be able to pick the month your baby is born. And it's a good think I didn't pick out maternity clothes before I got pregnant or there would be a great chance they would be for the wrong season! Although, I'm coming up on my year and they would be back to the right season.
Sunday, August 17, 2008
Show and Tell Anniversary Edition
Ok so here we have me finishing up getting my make up done. I loved having it done. My MIL was nice enough to pay for it for me.
My grandfather walked me down the isle. He's been the only man in my life that was there for me through everything. I love him so much!
This is the box my grandfather made for us. During the ceremony the JP talked about how we each wrote a letter to the other and did not show them to each other. And we locked the box and it is only to be opened if we find our marriage in trouble or on our 20th anniversary if we choose. If you want to read more about it you can here. I cried the first time I read about it cause I thought it was so sweet. Even B loved it.
This was our wedding party. The one in all blue is my younger sister, she was my maid of honor. And all the other girls are my sorority sisters and best friends.
There's my short B. On either side are his step brothers, the one with the silver vest was hi best man. The one all the way on the left is his best friend (whom is gorgeous, but not so much in a tux) and all the way on the right is his cousin.
I love this picture of our rings in my flowers.
This is our cake I designed. Didn't turn out exactly as I wanted, but everyone said it was great. I wanted the white dots to look like pearls, and the bow should be down on the ribbon band so it matched the girls' dresses, but oh well.
And this was the topper on the cake at our rehearsal dinner. B love to fish, he love it.
And this is B licking the cake off my face after shoving it up my nose. You can see his dad and step-mom in the back ground smiling from ear to ear.
On of my favorite pics of us, right after my sister and his brother gave the toasts.
On of my favorite pics of us, right after my sister and his brother gave the toasts.
And last but not least, this is a picture of us in a game that the DJ surprised us with. We both had one of our own shoes and one of the other's shoes. And the DJ would ask us questions like who takes care of money, and who would say I love you more and other really funny stuff that I can't remember now. It was a lot of fun and the guests loved it. I paid $1500 for my DJ in the end, and he would have played as long as we wanted for no extra charge. It was worth every penny! Check out these Demos, he's amazing. We did the love story, first dance and songs to our moms.
Well now that I'm sure I bored you with my wedding, let me say it took me forever to narrow down the photos, check out what other people brought to Show and Tell today.
Saturday, August 16, 2008
Dreams
Normally I don't mind dreaming. My dreams are pretty interesting with the things they have in them. Once in a while I have scary ones where people are chasing me and trying to kill to and I don't want to go back to sleep (cause they start all over again), but most of the time they are entertaining.
Well last night I was only sleeping maybe an hour at a time so I must have been going in and out of the dream. I only remember a bit of the beginning. We were camping and having a birthday party for my dad or grandpa or someone. Well every one was there for a few days before the party. Well I was exhausted the day before the party so the day of I decided to take and HPT. There were two lines plain as day. I was so scared and excited. I wasn't sure if I wanted to tell anyone because of last time, but decided I had to because my grandparents were here and I wanted to tell them in person. So I told my mom and she acted like it was no big deal, she said "well look what happened last time." B wasn't around for me to tell and it was party time. So I didnt want to tell my grandparents until I could be alone with them. So the party goes on and whoever it was for got some really weird gifts. Anyway, after the party my grandparents were packing to leave and my dad was with them. But for some reason I didn't want to tell my dad. So we are all leaving in our campers and I decided I'll just call them while I can atleast see them through the window. I dial and it starts ringing, but so does my purse. I had grandma's phone! So my dad calls from his cell (he's in their camper) and asks what's up and I say "I just wanted to tell them that I'm pregnant again." He says "we already know hunny." And I was like how, he says "we can just tell" and that's when I woke up.
I was so sad when I woke though. I want it to be so true, but I just don't think it is.
And please people don't judge me for what I am about to say. I want a baby more than anything, but I'm so sick of living half my life like I'm pregnant because "I might be with baby". I just can't take it any more. If I'm going to truly relax like everyone says, I'm going to keep smoking and drinking and all that like I normally do. Now don't get me wrong, that doesn't mean I'm getting wasted and being stupid. But last night, over a period of 4 or 5 hours I had 4 or 5 beers, right along with everyone else like I normally would have. And just the thought of trying to force myself not to smoke along with not to think about being pregnant stresses me out, let alone actually doing it. Please tell me there are other women out there that do the same thing, I can't be the only one to feel this way!
Well last night I was only sleeping maybe an hour at a time so I must have been going in and out of the dream. I only remember a bit of the beginning. We were camping and having a birthday party for my dad or grandpa or someone. Well every one was there for a few days before the party. Well I was exhausted the day before the party so the day of I decided to take and HPT. There were two lines plain as day. I was so scared and excited. I wasn't sure if I wanted to tell anyone because of last time, but decided I had to because my grandparents were here and I wanted to tell them in person. So I told my mom and she acted like it was no big deal, she said "well look what happened last time." B wasn't around for me to tell and it was party time. So I didnt want to tell my grandparents until I could be alone with them. So the party goes on and whoever it was for got some really weird gifts. Anyway, after the party my grandparents were packing to leave and my dad was with them. But for some reason I didn't want to tell my dad. So we are all leaving in our campers and I decided I'll just call them while I can atleast see them through the window. I dial and it starts ringing, but so does my purse. I had grandma's phone! So my dad calls from his cell (he's in their camper) and asks what's up and I say "I just wanted to tell them that I'm pregnant again." He says "we already know hunny." And I was like how, he says "we can just tell" and that's when I woke up.
I was so sad when I woke though. I want it to be so true, but I just don't think it is.
And please people don't judge me for what I am about to say. I want a baby more than anything, but I'm so sick of living half my life like I'm pregnant because "I might be with baby". I just can't take it any more. If I'm going to truly relax like everyone says, I'm going to keep smoking and drinking and all that like I normally do. Now don't get me wrong, that doesn't mean I'm getting wasted and being stupid. But last night, over a period of 4 or 5 hours I had 4 or 5 beers, right along with everyone else like I normally would have. And just the thought of trying to force myself not to smoke along with not to think about being pregnant stresses me out, let alone actually doing it. Please tell me there are other women out there that do the same thing, I can't be the only one to feel this way!
Friday, August 15, 2008
Need Some Advice
I'm not so rapidly approaching my year mark, but I guess that's good cause I need to find out some information first I think.
When AF arrives in September (about 5 weeks from now) it will mark 1 year since I stopped using BCP. This is also when I will be do for my yearly exam. At this appointment (providing I can't turn it into a prenatal visit) I will bring up the subject of not being able to get PG again.
What I need advice on is finding out what my insurance covers. Is this something that my doctor will handle for me? Do I need to call my insurance company to find out for myself? As of right now I have my insurance through work. The book they give me is very vague.
We don't have the money to pay for a lot of testing on our own and I'm so worried that I'm going to be crushed and not be able to go on because we can't afford it. Right now we are trying to pay off our credit cards so we can buy a home.
So my question is, do I start looking into the insurance now, or wait to have the appointment first?
When AF arrives in September (about 5 weeks from now) it will mark 1 year since I stopped using BCP. This is also when I will be do for my yearly exam. At this appointment (providing I can't turn it into a prenatal visit) I will bring up the subject of not being able to get PG again.
What I need advice on is finding out what my insurance covers. Is this something that my doctor will handle for me? Do I need to call my insurance company to find out for myself? As of right now I have my insurance through work. The book they give me is very vague.
We don't have the money to pay for a lot of testing on our own and I'm so worried that I'm going to be crushed and not be able to go on because we can't afford it. Right now we are trying to pay off our credit cards so we can buy a home.
So my question is, do I start looking into the insurance now, or wait to have the appointment first?
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
S.H.I.T.
I can't believe it's already Thursday. It seems like this week has gone by pretty fast. Which is great! Now lets hope that next week goes by even faster. I hate the 1ww. The first week normally goes by pretty fast and I don't even think about testing because we all know it's just way to early. Most the time I don't even make up symptoms in the first week. But last night getting out of the shower I found myself thinking, "I'm not testing at all this month. If AF hasn't arrived by the 26th, then maybe I'll think about it. She should be here any time from the 21st to the 24th. Yes, my LP has ranged from 11 to 15 days since my m/c. So anyway, the fact that I'm already thinking about not testing means I will probably test around 10 dpo. I won't test sooner than that cause I think it's pointless. Strange thing, my gums bled a little bit this morning when I was brushing, but I'm not thinking anything of it cause I very well could have just been brushing too hard. They bleed half the time when I floss anyway. I also have a lower back ache, but with me that could be nothing too. Don't even know why I brought that stuff up, I'm sure it's nothing!
In other news, I'm once again trying to quit smoking. Seems to be a monthly goal. By the time AF arrives, I'm so depressed and stressed out that I lose all self control. Plus I start drinking again then. If I haven't kicked the habit yet again by the time I see the Dr. next month I will ask him for help, again.
Also health related, I'm starting to eat healthier again. Yesterday wasn't my best example, but I'm doing good so far today (yeah I know it's early). For breakfast, instead of having my coffee, which was fat and caffeine free, I'm having a Smoothie made from the weight watchers smoothies with added banana and raspberries. I also have watermelon. For a snack I have some of those Ritz toasted Chips and for lunch I have about 6oz of pork tenderloin with veggies. YUM! I've also been good about working out. It's only been for about a half hour, but that's a half hour more than what I was doing.
Well I think I've rambled on enough...
Customer Service?
OK, this post is going to be void of my TTC efforts, I think. There pretty much isn't anything going on. My BBS have had pains, like some one is poking them, when there isn't and some nipple itching, but all that started before I O'd so it's not a sign or anything. And well, that's all there is right now.
On to my title. For a little background if you didn't read my previous post about my computer then you need to know that I came home from work last week to 2/3 of the screen was nothing but vertical colored lines. It's a laptop and when you squeeze where the lock part is, the screen goes back to normal. To me (who isn't all that computer savvy) this mean I need a new monitor, right? So I call the number in the pamphlet they stapled the receipt in at Walmart.
Nice guy : Hi, can I help you?
Me: Yeah my computer screen isn't working
(take my information)
Nice guy: It seems that your warranty with us is an extended warranty, but your machine is still covered under the manufactures warranty. You need to call them, here's the number.
Me thinking, even better. You know how some places give you a 2 year extended warranty, but it starts the day you buy it. So I call Dell using the number they gave me
Stupid staticy machine voice: I'm sorry this call can not be dialed from your area.
Me: What the fuck do you mean 'from my area'?
(think maybe I dialed wrong, dial again)
Stupid staticy machine voice: I'm sorry this call can not be dialed from your area.
So I get on my computer (which we are able to use because we've hooked our dog leash to the top to keep the pressure on it so you can use the screen, at least the leashes are getting used) and I go to Dell.com to find a Customer Service number.
After going through 3 prompts nice woman voice says : I will now direct your call to an operator who can direct your call.
Me: What?
Guy I can't understand: What problems are you having, are they technical (after 4 tries I understood)
Me: Well I guess their technical
(takes my information, cause you can't do anything without giving them the number on the bottom of the computer 5 times)
Guy: Well it looks like the computer is no longer under warranty. It was up on July 18th, 2008. (not exactly what he said, but I want you to be able to understand)
Me: What do you mean? I have the receipt right here saying I bought it on Sept. 20th, 2007. Warranty should last til Sept 20, 2008.
Guy: Well I'm sorry this must be when Walmart purchased it and the warranty started.
Me (completely irate): So you are telling me that I have a period where I have no warranty because the computer sat on the shelf for a few months! I just called Walmart and they said their warranty doesn't start til Sept. 20. But yours is already over!?!?!?!?
Guy: Please hold and I'll see what I can do.
Me: You're damn right you'll see what you can do you piece of shit! (ok didn't really say it but I was certainly thinking it)
Guy comes back after 5 minutes: If you would hold again I can connect you to another department. Ask them to update your warranty status.
Me: OK thanks for the help, grumble grumble.
Nice woman voice: Please hold
(minute passes)
Nice woman voice: Please hold
(minute passes)
Nice woman voice: Your call has been lost. Please dial the 1 800 number again.
Me: Are you Fucking kidding me! I just spent a half hour on the phone and now I have to start over! (Wants to through phone).
Call back, new guy I can't understand. See conversation above about when warranty starts and ends. Add at the beginning:
Me: Some moron just tried to transfer me to update my warranty status and you l0st my call.
New guy: Sorry about that. (Takes my information AGAIN) Let me see if you are still under warranty.
After same conversation above new guy is smart enough to update the warranty status him self. Then says: If you would please hold I'll transfer you to our technical department.
3rd guy: Hi, what is your problem today?
Me: Are you kidding me? I've told 4 different people my problem, but I'm starting to think it's you. (ok so I told him my problem again)
(Long pause)
3rd guy: Well I can't help you, I have to transfer you to the Laptop department.
Me: How many fucking departments do you have?!?!
This time he gives me a case number
Laptop guy: Hi how can I help you today
Me (irritated and sick of giving information): I have a case number, the last guy said you can get all the information there, give number.
Laptop guy: Can I have your name, and address and verify your email.
Me: Are you kidding?
So I tell the guy the problem and he has me run all these tests that I know are doing no good cause I just need a new monitor. After 45minutes he tells me, well I'm going to send you a box and you are going to put your computer in there without the power cord, battery or hard drive. Count 2 or 3 business days for shipping there and then count another 7 to 10 business days and you should get it back. Oh and it will take a day or 2 for your box to arrive.
So yeah I'm going to be without a computer at home for like 2 weeks!!!
If you made it all the way through that I'm impressed. I would have gave up a long time ago, but thanks for listening to my rant!
On to my title. For a little background if you didn't read my previous post about my computer then you need to know that I came home from work last week to 2/3 of the screen was nothing but vertical colored lines. It's a laptop and when you squeeze where the lock part is, the screen goes back to normal. To me (who isn't all that computer savvy) this mean I need a new monitor, right? So I call the number in the pamphlet they stapled the receipt in at Walmart.
Nice guy : Hi, can I help you?
Me: Yeah my computer screen isn't working
(take my information)
Nice guy: It seems that your warranty with us is an extended warranty, but your machine is still covered under the manufactures warranty. You need to call them, here's the number.
Me thinking, even better. You know how some places give you a 2 year extended warranty, but it starts the day you buy it. So I call Dell using the number they gave me
Stupid staticy machine voice: I'm sorry this call can not be dialed from your area.
Me: What the fuck do you mean 'from my area'?
(think maybe I dialed wrong, dial again)
Stupid staticy machine voice: I'm sorry this call can not be dialed from your area.
So I get on my computer (which we are able to use because we've hooked our dog leash to the top to keep the pressure on it so you can use the screen, at least the leashes are getting used) and I go to Dell.com to find a Customer Service number.
After going through 3 prompts nice woman voice says : I will now direct your call to an operator who can direct your call.
Me: What?
Guy I can't understand: What problems are you having, are they technical (after 4 tries I understood)
Me: Well I guess their technical
(takes my information, cause you can't do anything without giving them the number on the bottom of the computer 5 times)
Guy: Well it looks like the computer is no longer under warranty. It was up on July 18th, 2008. (not exactly what he said, but I want you to be able to understand)
Me: What do you mean? I have the receipt right here saying I bought it on Sept. 20th, 2007. Warranty should last til Sept 20, 2008.
Guy: Well I'm sorry this must be when Walmart purchased it and the warranty started.
Me (completely irate): So you are telling me that I have a period where I have no warranty because the computer sat on the shelf for a few months! I just called Walmart and they said their warranty doesn't start til Sept. 20. But yours is already over!?!?!?!?
Guy: Please hold and I'll see what I can do.
Me: You're damn right you'll see what you can do you piece of shit! (ok didn't really say it but I was certainly thinking it)
Guy comes back after 5 minutes: If you would hold again I can connect you to another department. Ask them to update your warranty status.
Me: OK thanks for the help, grumble grumble.
Nice woman voice: Please hold
(minute passes)
Nice woman voice: Please hold
(minute passes)
Nice woman voice: Your call has been lost. Please dial the 1 800 number again.
Me: Are you Fucking kidding me! I just spent a half hour on the phone and now I have to start over! (Wants to through phone).
Call back, new guy I can't understand. See conversation above about when warranty starts and ends. Add at the beginning:
Me: Some moron just tried to transfer me to update my warranty status and you l0st my call.
New guy: Sorry about that. (Takes my information AGAIN) Let me see if you are still under warranty.
After same conversation above new guy is smart enough to update the warranty status him self. Then says: If you would please hold I'll transfer you to our technical department.
3rd guy: Hi, what is your problem today?
Me: Are you kidding me? I've told 4 different people my problem, but I'm starting to think it's you. (ok so I told him my problem again)
(Long pause)
3rd guy: Well I can't help you, I have to transfer you to the Laptop department.
Me: How many fucking departments do you have?!?!
This time he gives me a case number
Laptop guy: Hi how can I help you today
Me (irritated and sick of giving information): I have a case number, the last guy said you can get all the information there, give number.
Laptop guy: Can I have your name, and address and verify your email.
Me: Are you kidding?
So I tell the guy the problem and he has me run all these tests that I know are doing no good cause I just need a new monitor. After 45minutes he tells me, well I'm going to send you a box and you are going to put your computer in there without the power cord, battery or hard drive. Count 2 or 3 business days for shipping there and then count another 7 to 10 business days and you should get it back. Oh and it will take a day or 2 for your box to arrive.
So yeah I'm going to be without a computer at home for like 2 weeks!!!
If you made it all the way through that I'm impressed. I would have gave up a long time ago, but thanks for listening to my rant!
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
Sleepless nights...
Well for those of you who don't know. I temped for about 9 months. I stopped temping this month for a few reasons. One being that time when I would start to get crazy in the 1ww and start staring at my chart waiting for it to change or scream "You're Pregnant" which we all know won't happen.
The second reasons I quit temping was because I was having a hard time getting a full nights sleep. Well this morning I think I have finally figured out my sleeping problem. I don't know how many times I woke up last night, but every time I felt pain. Most of the time it was in my back, be it lower or middle, it hurt. I couldn't get comfortable and started tossing and turning. You know those commercials on TV for the mattress where they show how a normal mattress mis-aligns your back, but their mattress doesn't. I honestly think my back isn't straight enough when I sleep. This also came to me because of my hip problem from sleeping on an air mattress this weekend. My hip was sore because of the way it was bent inward while I was sleeping in my side. I think it's the same thing with my back. Now I just need to figure out how to fix it considering I can't afford to go out and buy a new mattress right now. Maybe if I switch pillows it will work.
I hope this takes care of some of my sleepiness too. I'm constantly tired, but I think that's from a lack of good sleep at night.
Oh and one other sleep related thing, what do you think dreaming about people from your past means? The last 3 or 4 nights I've had dreams about people I used to be friends that I haven't talked to in years and even and ex boyfriend that I haven't seen in 7 years probably. Any ideas, it's kinda weird.
The second reasons I quit temping was because I was having a hard time getting a full nights sleep. Well this morning I think I have finally figured out my sleeping problem. I don't know how many times I woke up last night, but every time I felt pain. Most of the time it was in my back, be it lower or middle, it hurt. I couldn't get comfortable and started tossing and turning. You know those commercials on TV for the mattress where they show how a normal mattress mis-aligns your back, but their mattress doesn't. I honestly think my back isn't straight enough when I sleep. This also came to me because of my hip problem from sleeping on an air mattress this weekend. My hip was sore because of the way it was bent inward while I was sleeping in my side. I think it's the same thing with my back. Now I just need to figure out how to fix it considering I can't afford to go out and buy a new mattress right now. Maybe if I switch pillows it will work.
I hope this takes care of some of my sleepiness too. I'm constantly tired, but I think that's from a lack of good sleep at night.
Oh and one other sleep related thing, what do you think dreaming about people from your past means? The last 3 or 4 nights I've had dreams about people I used to be friends that I haven't talked to in years and even and ex boyfriend that I haven't seen in 7 years probably. Any ideas, it's kinda weird.
Monday, August 11, 2008
Tag You're It!
Murgdan was nice enough to tag me for this Meme...
Rules: Answer each question with one word and tag four others to play.
1. Where is your cell phone? Desk
2. Your significant other? Working
3. Your hair? blah
4. Your mother? Friend
5. Your father? Hairy
6. Your favorite thing? Crocheting
7. Your dream last night? Weird
8. Your favorite drink? White Russian
9. Your dream/goal? Mommy
10. The room you're in? Cubicals
11. Your hobby? Crocheting
12. Your fear? Infertility
13. Where do you want to be in 6 years? Home
14. What you're not? Snob
15. Muffins? ChocolateChip
16. One of your wish list items? House
17. Where you grew up? New York
18. The last thing you did? WTE
19. What are you wearing? Jeans
20. Favorite Gadget? Phone
21. Your pet? Pug
22. Your computer? Sucks
23. Your mood? Tired
24. Missing someone? Always
25. Your car? Jeep
26. Something you are not wearing? Earings
27. Favorite Store? Target
28. Like someone? Duh
29. Your favorite color? Pink
30. When is the last time you laughed? Yesterday
31. Last time you cried? Friday
Now I get to Tag 4 people.... Sarah, Just Me, fiddle1, and anyone else who wants to give it a shot.
Now I have to catch up on blogs cause I'm way behind!
Rules: Answer each question with one word and tag four others to play.
1. Where is your cell phone? Desk
2. Your significant other? Working
3. Your hair? blah
4. Your mother? Friend
5. Your father? Hairy
6. Your favorite thing? Crocheting
7. Your dream last night? Weird
8. Your favorite drink? White Russian
9. Your dream/goal? Mommy
10. The room you're in? Cubicals
11. Your hobby? Crocheting
12. Your fear? Infertility
13. Where do you want to be in 6 years? Home
14. What you're not? Snob
15. Muffins? ChocolateChip
16. One of your wish list items? House
17. Where you grew up? New York
18. The last thing you did? WTE
19. What are you wearing? Jeans
20. Favorite Gadget? Phone
21. Your pet? Pug
22. Your computer? Sucks
23. Your mood? Tired
24. Missing someone? Always
25. Your car? Jeep
26. Something you are not wearing? Earings
27. Favorite Store? Target
28. Like someone? Duh
29. Your favorite color? Pink
30. When is the last time you laughed? Yesterday
31. Last time you cried? Friday
Now I get to Tag 4 people.... Sarah, Just Me, fiddle1, and anyone else who wants to give it a shot.
Now I have to catch up on blogs cause I'm way behind!
Sunday, August 10, 2008
Show and Tell and other news...
Holy crap, I totally remembered this week! Can you believe it?!?! So this week I'm showing off my brand new Elliptical Machine. I just got it last week.
Please don't mind the mess in the background, we just got done setting it up. I can't wait until we get the room turned into an actual workout room. Right in front of it there is a TV wish Dish connected.
I used it 1 night last week and can't believe how out of shape I am. I used to use one at the gym for 45 and think nothing of it, but the night I used it, I was on there for about 10 minutes thinking OMG what have I gotten myself into?
In other news, I'm happy to say that we have been able to keep up the EOD BD schedule so far. And excitingly enough I think I O'd yesterday. I'm not 100% sure if it was Friday or yesterday, but today my cervix is feeling closed and firm and my cm isn't watery anymore. Best part if I O'd yesterday is that yesterday was a BD day, and we BD in the morning, which is supposed to be the better time of day.
Our anniversary is a week from today so it looks like I won't be celebrating with a drink, but that's ok. We're going to have a nice romantic dinner out I think. I wish I could know by then, it would be a great gift, but there is no way I'd get a BFP by then. Now I just have to decide if and when I'll test. If I figure a 14 day LP I should be able to test on the 23rd, but I don't know if I could handle a BFN 2 days before the EDD of my angel. Not that AF will be any easier, but I suppose if I can wait until the 25th or after to test I should know just by the absence of AF, that would be 16dpo.
I guess we'll see what happens...
Friday, August 8, 2008
T.G.I.F.
I'm so glad it's Friday! (and for those that don't know, I love pugs).
It has been one heck of a long week. At work at 6:30 every day. Not to say that I've gotten much done cause I've spent way too much time on the boards and reading blogs, but it's still made for a long week. Before I got to work this morning my shoulder muscles were hurting. That's never a good sign. We are going camping tomorrow night, but B said that tonight we are just going to hang out and maybe rent a movie or something.
On to the TTC topic, first thing first
My long time TTC Sister Angie just found out she is pregnant while preparing to come back from a break during her 22 months of TTC. I'm so happy for you and Nate!!!
OK, now on to me... I may have O'd yesterday, but I think it's going to be today. And being that we are having a "relaxing night" tonight I may insist on one more BD session. I wanted to stick to EOD, but tomorrow we will be camping with several other couples and I don't want to chance having to force the BD.
Oh and a tip. I mentioned before that I left messages on B's calendar in his phone so that it would go off in the afternoon and say something like "I can't wait to touch you" or something like that. Well it works. After we BD yesterday I said to him "Wow, that was amazing" and he says "Well I've been thinking about since I got your message." So if things are getting boring, spice it up a little. And if you put it in the calendar, you won't chicken out on sending the text message.
I hope everyone has a great weekend!
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
Good Day, Bad Day?
Well I suppose yesterday was more of a good day than a bad day.
I'm totally excited because just as I was getting ready to leave work the UPS guy called me and said that my brand new elliptical machine would be delivered in an hour! They said it would be 1 to 6 weeks, so imagine my surprise when it only took 5 days!!! DH and I set it up as soon as we got there and he promised to clean out our room in the basement and make it a workout room for me. so hopefully we can get his weight bench down there too. I can't wait to get home tonight and use it So I suppose Wednesdays will be my health update days.
I apparently have the worst luck with computers! We bought out laptop last September when we got home from out honeymoon (totally bad timing) because the one I had was 4 or 5 years old and had quit working. Well just a month after buying it the monitor started turning off for no reason. I called and they fixed it over the phone by the remote access thing. Well last night when I got home half of the screen was black and the other half was working. So I figured it had just been on too long. Well I turned it off and left it off all night. This morning I turned it on and same thing. B went to move the screen so he could see better and the whole thing worked, but when he took his hand off it went to half a screen again. I suppose I'm glad it happened now while it's still under warranty so I'm not going to complain too much, I just hope it's the least of my worries with the thing. I may buy an extended warranty considering the troubles I've had in the last year.
My Dish went out, but only on 1 of the 3 TVs. We have a basic receiver in the room in the basement cause for 4 months my girlfriend from college lived with us, while working with B. Well I've only used the TV down there a few times while I was cleaning. We went to turn it on last night while setting up the elliptical and it didn't work. So I spent a half hour on the phone with the Dish people. In the end, it works again so I'm not going to complain too much. Just irritates me cause they basically stopped sending signal even though I was paying for it (used or not I was paying for it) and I have no way to know how many month I should be able to ask for $ back for.
Best part of the day, the BDing!!! Yes you read that right, we actually BD last night. Of course not without frustration on my part. Why is the TV always involved in our foreplay? And I don't mean dirty videos. I mean he watches shows on TV until "it's time". I got so pissed last night. He was running his fingers over my body and watching TV. If he hadn't rolled over when he did I was going to tell him he may as well go rub the damn TV. I know it feels like a chore some times, but maybe if you actually paid attention to me, it wouldn't. I didn't say anything though cause I figured at that moment wasn't the right time to yell. In the end I was happy, but next time the TV will go off immediately!
So that was my night and I can't wait to get home today and figure out my new toy! I'm sure I'll be doing a Show and Tell this week!
I'm totally excited because just as I was getting ready to leave work the UPS guy called me and said that my brand new elliptical machine would be delivered in an hour! They said it would be 1 to 6 weeks, so imagine my surprise when it only took 5 days!!! DH and I set it up as soon as we got there and he promised to clean out our room in the basement and make it a workout room for me. so hopefully we can get his weight bench down there too. I can't wait to get home tonight and use it So I suppose Wednesdays will be my health update days.
I apparently have the worst luck with computers! We bought out laptop last September when we got home from out honeymoon (totally bad timing) because the one I had was 4 or 5 years old and had quit working. Well just a month after buying it the monitor started turning off for no reason. I called and they fixed it over the phone by the remote access thing. Well last night when I got home half of the screen was black and the other half was working. So I figured it had just been on too long. Well I turned it off and left it off all night. This morning I turned it on and same thing. B went to move the screen so he could see better and the whole thing worked, but when he took his hand off it went to half a screen again. I suppose I'm glad it happened now while it's still under warranty so I'm not going to complain too much, I just hope it's the least of my worries with the thing. I may buy an extended warranty considering the troubles I've had in the last year.
My Dish went out, but only on 1 of the 3 TVs. We have a basic receiver in the room in the basement cause for 4 months my girlfriend from college lived with us, while working with B. Well I've only used the TV down there a few times while I was cleaning. We went to turn it on last night while setting up the elliptical and it didn't work. So I spent a half hour on the phone with the Dish people. In the end, it works again so I'm not going to complain too much. Just irritates me cause they basically stopped sending signal even though I was paying for it (used or not I was paying for it) and I have no way to know how many month I should be able to ask for $ back for.
Best part of the day, the BDing!!! Yes you read that right, we actually BD last night. Of course not without frustration on my part. Why is the TV always involved in our foreplay? And I don't mean dirty videos. I mean he watches shows on TV until "it's time". I got so pissed last night. He was running his fingers over my body and watching TV. If he hadn't rolled over when he did I was going to tell him he may as well go rub the damn TV. I know it feels like a chore some times, but maybe if you actually paid attention to me, it wouldn't. I didn't say anything though cause I figured at that moment wasn't the right time to yell. In the end I was happy, but next time the TV will go off immediately!
So that was my night and I can't wait to get home today and figure out my new toy! I'm sure I'll be doing a Show and Tell this week!
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
Understanding?
This is just me letting out some frustration. B said things the other night and I really thought he understood what I go through every month. But if he understands what I'm going through then why isn't he trying to have sex with me? If he understands then why do I feel like this is becoming a chore again. I go to sleep upset at night thinking we should have had sex tonight, but apparently he doesn't care. I thought he said he things about it to. Well I'm pretty sure he knows that you have to have sex to get pregnant and I'm pretty sure he said to me that he understood the message I left him the other night "Our two weeks of fun begins tonight." He even understood that it was supposed to be every other day. So why do I feel like it's all up to me? I know I should tell him how I feel about this, but I don't want to upset him at this time. I'm sure we'll BD tonight considering the message I put in his phone for today says "I can't wait to touch you tonight" but that's not the point. I shouldn't have to leave messages like that for EVERY day we need to BD. Once in a while is great, makes it fun, but for every day it just becomes same old, same old again.
Last night I went to bed thinking about how I can get him to BD. My thoughts last night were: when he takes a shower after work he always grabs a new pair of boxers and takes them to the bathroom with him. I figure when he gets in the shower, I'll go in and go to the bathroom, but take his boxers when I leave. Then when he gets out and come in the bedroom I'll be wearing something sexy. But once again I think these things and feel like I shouldn't have to do something like that ALL the time. When's it my turn for a little romance, when's he going to make the initiative to start things because he knows "it's that time"? Is it my cross to bear because I'm a woman?
Sorry this is all I seem to be writing about lately, but it is "that time" and once again it's all I can think about.
Last night I went to bed thinking about how I can get him to BD. My thoughts last night were: when he takes a shower after work he always grabs a new pair of boxers and takes them to the bathroom with him. I figure when he gets in the shower, I'll go in and go to the bathroom, but take his boxers when I leave. Then when he gets out and come in the bedroom I'll be wearing something sexy. But once again I think these things and feel like I shouldn't have to do something like that ALL the time. When's it my turn for a little romance, when's he going to make the initiative to start things because he knows "it's that time"? Is it my cross to bear because I'm a woman?
Sorry this is all I seem to be writing about lately, but it is "that time" and once again it's all I can think about.
Monday, August 4, 2008
Back to Work
Well it's a Monday and I'm not feeling all that creative as you can tell by the title.
So about my weekend...
Friday when I got home I was so tired I tried to lay down with Brian (who was already napping in the bed) and take a nap. Well he kept sprawling out all over me so I couldn't fall asleep. After about a half hour he got up and went to the kitchen, I was thinking "Ahh, now I can get some rest," Well no cause minutes later he returns with a bag of Doritos, so all I can hear is the loud crinkling of the bag and the crunching of him chewing. So I got up and started cleaning for about an hour. Then I told him that I wanted to rent a video game. We rented a game and a few movies. It was so funny cause after the movie we BD and I said to him "I can't believe you made it through the movie!" (he never does) and he said "Well I knew I would be rewarded if I did. I got your message earlier, I like it."
Saturday breakfast was great, but I was really sad to see my grandparents for the last time. The don't know when they will be visiting again and even though they are quite healthy I can't help but think what if this is the last time I see them. I miss them so much, but we just can't afford to go visit them. It's about $350 just in gas to get there an back. Any way so it was raining and B was supposed to take his buddy Pat golfing so that his girlfriend and I could set up for his surprise party, but Pat was giving him a hard time. In the end B got him to go and we got to set things up. Pat was totally surprised!!! It was fun for a while but then I started to feel like a babysitter. His GF got drunk and out of my motherly instincts drinking wasn't much fun any more and I was watching the kids and making sure they weren't cold and that they were fed and all that. B ended up getting quite drunk and when I know the girls were in bed I looked at him and said it's time to go. Surprisingly he didn't put up much of a fight. And when I told him about what had been going on he felt bad that I ended up not having as much fun as I was earlier in the day. Not his fault but he thinks it was a little.
Then he surprised me as we were laying bed, it was only 10pm, and says "Well this was good timing this month. Tonight is an off night right?" He was referring to our EOD BDing. He says "I know you don't think I do, but I do think about it too. You aren't the only one going through it." I couldn't believe it, I told him "Well if you are going through it too and you feel bad about things I wish you would tell me cause some times I feel like I'm alone."
Then yesterday was a wash out in my mind. It was nice in a way though. I didn't get anything done, except 6 loads of laundry (which I'm so glad is done). We pretty much laid in bed all day and watched movies and the race. I worked on my blanket, I'm getting so close to being done that I can't wait! And I knew we should have BD in the morning, but we didn't and then half way through the day he back all of a sudden hurt. So in the end there was no BD yesterday and that frustrates me. But there is nothing I can do about it now. I just hope that he doesn't come home all tired all week cause I will just go insane!
So that's my weekend. I'll do a show and tell at lunch time.
So about my weekend...
Friday when I got home I was so tired I tried to lay down with Brian (who was already napping in the bed) and take a nap. Well he kept sprawling out all over me so I couldn't fall asleep. After about a half hour he got up and went to the kitchen, I was thinking "Ahh, now I can get some rest," Well no cause minutes later he returns with a bag of Doritos, so all I can hear is the loud crinkling of the bag and the crunching of him chewing. So I got up and started cleaning for about an hour. Then I told him that I wanted to rent a video game. We rented a game and a few movies. It was so funny cause after the movie we BD and I said to him "I can't believe you made it through the movie!" (he never does) and he said "Well I knew I would be rewarded if I did. I got your message earlier, I like it."
Saturday breakfast was great, but I was really sad to see my grandparents for the last time. The don't know when they will be visiting again and even though they are quite healthy I can't help but think what if this is the last time I see them. I miss them so much, but we just can't afford to go visit them. It's about $350 just in gas to get there an back. Any way so it was raining and B was supposed to take his buddy Pat golfing so that his girlfriend and I could set up for his surprise party, but Pat was giving him a hard time. In the end B got him to go and we got to set things up. Pat was totally surprised!!! It was fun for a while but then I started to feel like a babysitter. His GF got drunk and out of my motherly instincts drinking wasn't much fun any more and I was watching the kids and making sure they weren't cold and that they were fed and all that. B ended up getting quite drunk and when I know the girls were in bed I looked at him and said it's time to go. Surprisingly he didn't put up much of a fight. And when I told him about what had been going on he felt bad that I ended up not having as much fun as I was earlier in the day. Not his fault but he thinks it was a little.
Then he surprised me as we were laying bed, it was only 10pm, and says "Well this was good timing this month. Tonight is an off night right?" He was referring to our EOD BDing. He says "I know you don't think I do, but I do think about it too. You aren't the only one going through it." I couldn't believe it, I told him "Well if you are going through it too and you feel bad about things I wish you would tell me cause some times I feel like I'm alone."
Then yesterday was a wash out in my mind. It was nice in a way though. I didn't get anything done, except 6 loads of laundry (which I'm so glad is done). We pretty much laid in bed all day and watched movies and the race. I worked on my blanket, I'm getting so close to being done that I can't wait! And I knew we should have BD in the morning, but we didn't and then half way through the day he back all of a sudden hurt. So in the end there was no BD yesterday and that frustrates me. But there is nothing I can do about it now. I just hope that he doesn't come home all tired all week cause I will just go insane!
So that's my weekend. I'll do a show and tell at lunch time.
Friday, August 1, 2008
Other Happenings Today...
So today is CD 8, the beginning of my FTW (Fun Two Weeks). Every other day for the next two weeks DH and I are going to BD. I told him about this probably 2 or 3 weeks ago, but I'm sure he's forgotten so last weekend while he was in the shower I took his phone and put little messages on the calendar that said things like "Our fun begins tonight" and "You're getting lucky today". This way hopefully he will know why I'm coming on to him and not try and blow me off cause he's tired. ** Also if you have any other ideas for things I can put in that little amount of space, feel free to let me know, I'm not that good with all the 'sex talk'**
So he picks up his phone before we leave for work and says "what does this little symbol mean?" I told him it was the calendar symbol. He says "Well I don't have anything on my calendar, what is it?" I told him he did and don't worry about it til later. Then he informed me "I don't like people messing with my phone, but since it's my wife I'll let it slide." Considering how tired and grumpy I was I wanted to tell him to just forget it and delete it cause it wasn't going to happen anyway (his fault I was tired). Which of course it will, it better!
Other than that, not much going on. Trying to decide how I'm going to work this weekend. We are supposed to be moving a bed tonight, tomorrow is breakfast with my grandparents and then helping pull off a surprise party. But I have lots of things I want to get done around the house. Most of it not that hard to do, but still things I need motivation for. And when you've been busy every day, but Sunday, having the motivation to get it done is tough. Especially when DH won't be around to help me. He's going to be putting a roof on a Habitat for Humanity house.
So nothing major going on, So Happy It's Friday!!!
So he picks up his phone before we leave for work and says "what does this little symbol mean?" I told him it was the calendar symbol. He says "Well I don't have anything on my calendar, what is it?" I told him he did and don't worry about it til later. Then he informed me "I don't like people messing with my phone, but since it's my wife I'll let it slide." Considering how tired and grumpy I was I wanted to tell him to just forget it and delete it cause it wasn't going to happen anyway (his fault I was tired). Which of course it will, it better!
Other than that, not much going on. Trying to decide how I'm going to work this weekend. We are supposed to be moving a bed tonight, tomorrow is breakfast with my grandparents and then helping pull off a surprise party. But I have lots of things I want to get done around the house. Most of it not that hard to do, but still things I need motivation for. And when you've been busy every day, but Sunday, having the motivation to get it done is tough. Especially when DH won't be around to help me. He's going to be putting a roof on a Habitat for Humanity house.
So nothing major going on, So Happy It's Friday!!!
I'm Honored...
First thank you so much murgdan, for awarding me the Pink Rose Award, it means a lot to me. I'm especially glad that I for some reason I decided to check my blog before coming to work today.
I would like to also give this award to murgdan, Sarah and Dawn because each of them has helped me through some of the roughest times. They were there when I got my BFP and again when I lost the baby. When I didn't think I could go on, they helped me. They are always there to make me laugh when needed and let me cry (as well as you can on the internet) when I need that too. I find it amazing how much these wonderful women whom I have never met have effected my life. I hope some day we will all be able to get together and share our joys in person.
Thank you to everyone who has been reading my blog and leaving me comments, each comment brings a little light to these gray days. I would also like to award two other women:
Antigone even though I just recently found her blog she has been an inspiration to me. I couldn't help but read her entire blog from the beginning. She has been through some rough times and I fear there are still some to come so stop by her blog and let her know what a strong woman she is and a great mother she will be! We are here for you!
Just Me who is always here with hugs when I need, great advice and good laughs! And congratulations to her on her first BFP after 2 years of trying!!! I'm so happy for you!
Here are the instructions for the Pink Rose Award:
1. on your blog, copy and paste the award, these rules, a link back to the person who selected you, and a link to this post: “Pink is my favorite color…“. There’s a story of Pink Rose Award and other graphic to choose from.
2. Select as many award recipients as you would like, link to their blogs (if they have one), and explain why you have chose them.
3. Let them know that you have selected them for an award by commenting on one of their posts.
4. If you are selected, pass it on by giving the Pink Rose Award to others.
5. If you find that someone you want to nominate has already been selected by someone else, you can still honor them by posting a comment on their award post stating your reasons for wishing to grant them the award.
6. You do not have to wait until someone nominates you to nominate someone else.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)