Monday, November 28, 2011

Double Digits!

That's right, the tickers are down to double digits now!  99 Days!  14 Weeks!!  3 Months!!!

So many feelings about those numbers: excited, nervous, anxious, and there's another one that I just don't know what to call it.

I'm so excited to have a little baby girl to hold and care for again.

I'm extremely nervous about how Lillian is going to react to me having to give so much time and attention to some one else.

I'm anxious to get the house, particularly her bedroom done.

And this other feeling comes at night when it's time for Lillian to go to bed.  It's that overwhelming feeling of love I get in my heart that almost hurts and makes me cry.  It's not a sad cry, but it's certainly not a happy cry either.  I used to get it when she was first born too.  Like a separation anxiety or something.  I've been trying so hard to let B do bed time cause he will have to when the baby arrives and to let him be the one to go to her when she wakes up.  But it's hard.  I want to be there for her, but I know that I won't always be able to be there once the baby gets here and I don't want her to resent her sister for that so I'm trying to back off now.  But it hurts :(

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  1. So close! :D YAY!

    I think everything will fall into place once your little baby is born!

  2. You are right, things will come together, I just hope it's better than I anticipate. I got a taste of what she will act like around another little one and I can't have her throwing a fit to feed her like a baby every time I have to feed the baby :/


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