Monday, August 29, 2011

All Jumbled Up

That how the thoughts in my head are.  So as much as I hate to do it, I'm going to give you some bullet points.
  • We survived the all mighty Irene.  Not that I thought we wouldn't, we do live upstate, not on the coast, and the weather man was only calling for rain and wind.  Yes it was all day rain, but nothing too heavy and only a few inches maybe.  Some people blew this way out of proportion and really irritated me, but alas it's over and we all survived and I was right.
  • I have a brother whom I've never met.  I've known about him since I was very little, but until about 6 months ago we had never even been in contact.  I had always wondered what it would be like to talk to him and get to know him.  Our conversations through email and later texting and even a phone call stirred up many emotions for me.  You see my father had never met him either.  I'm not going to get into the details of that now because what really bothers me right now is that my brother is sick.  I have learned over the last few years that you can care a great deal about people whom you've never met in person.  Friday night my brother went into the hospital and was put in ICU.  It is now Monday and he has been moved out of ICU, but they still don't know what's wrong with him.  In the beginning they were pretty sure it was meningitis, now one doctor says he thinks it still is and the other doesn't.  I am a good 10-12 hours away (I don't know for sure obviously cause I've never been there), but I feel helpless and I wish there was something I could do, but I'm not even on the "Inform immediately" list because of our situation.
  • Pregnancy guilt is high.  Although I'm finally starting to feel better (I love you Prilo.sec) and I'm getting spend more time with Lillian, I find that I still have a rather short fuse when it comes to her whining.  Some times I just give up the fight cause let's face it we need to pick our battles.  But then I wonder if I'm creating a monster by letting her think that some times a fit may work so she may as well try.  The binkies for example, I created a freaking monster and I'm regretting every second of it right now.  I hate the damn things and for some reason every day when she gets in the car to leave the sitter's she asks for them.  Of course while at the sitter's, even if she's offered them, she doesn't want them.  This is currently a battle that I have just quit fighting, I can't take the screaming after a long day at the office.  Am I enabling a brat though?  Honestly???  Is she going to whine forever to get what she wants or is this just a phase?
  • My Etsy shop is draining me, financially and mentally.  Didn't know I had one? Check it out, Brandi's Boutique. I'm buying patterns for new things and then buying yarn and ribbon or whatever, but I end up having to make 2 of everything before I can post them because I have to give one away to get pictures of it.  And really what good are the pictures if you don't have an item to sell anymore?  And well my creativeness went out the window when my sleep did.  I have been creative enough to make a few single items, but by the time I get around to duplicating them, I can't remember how I made them and have to start the process all over again.  Oh how I wish I could just be home working on this stuff all day!
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