8 Weeks and a Pill

8 Weeks!!! I can't believe I've made it 8 Weeks!!!

Before anyone worries, the pill I'm speaking of doesn't exist. It's a pill I wish existed, one I could give to my loving husband that thinks he understands what it's like to be 8 weeks pregnant. He tries to sympathize, but really he doesn't get it. I understand that he works a physical job on a roof all day and that it's tiring and miserable, it in no way means that he can come close to understanding what it's like to sit at a desk all day trying to make yourself not throw up. Or trying to ignore the horrible acid in your stomach that feels like it's eating away at itself, and the only thing that makes it feel better is to eat any carbs you can get, but you can't because gaining 50lbs is NOT an option! I wish he could feel how I feel, even doing what I do, for just one day. Maybe then he would understand why last night I went to bed crying because even though I told him Lillian spilled Freezie.Pop juice on our bed and I needed to change the sheets when they came out of the dryer, he went to bed anyway ignoring that I was going to have to sleep in that sticky mess. Or that he left me alone to deal with our 27 month old daughter who wouldn't even close her eyes to try and fall asleep for an hour and a half. Who I eventually just left to her own devices in her crib because I could no longer sit there with my stomach turning and my head bobbing. And maybe then he would understand why I get up at 4 and skip my much needed work out because it's the only time of day I feel well enough to get some house work done.

Oops, I wasn't going to go into that rant, but oh well, I did and it is after all the truth. Happy Birthday Babe, I really do love you!

On to the 8 week update!

Stats:
Weight: +3.8lb (damn carbs are killing me)
Next Appt: Aug 3 (dating ultrasound!)

This is what a 3D ultrasound should show at 8 weeks. I'm actually guessing at my ultrasound next week the baby will measure around 9 weeks 1 day, rather than a little under 9 weeks.

According to Baby.Center, this is what's new this week:
Webbed fingers and toes are poking out from your baby's hands and feet, his eyelids practically cover his eyes, breathing tubes extend from his throat to the branches of his developing lungs, and his "tail" is just about gone. In his brain, nerve cells are branching out to connect with one another, forming primitive neural pathways. You may be daydreaming about your baby as one sex or the other, but the external genitals still haven't developed enough to reveal whether you're having a boy or a girl. Either way, your baby — about the size of a kidney bean — is constantly moving and shifting, though you still can't feel it.

Now that I'm 8 weeks and feeling like shit, I mean confident, I'm trying to accept that I need to just embrace the pregnant look, even if people who ask can't believe I'm only 8 weeks. Really what choice do I have???

Nursemaid's Elbow

Lilli and I made our second trip to the ER in 3 weeks last night for Nursemaid's Elbow. I'm not sure if she's just prone to it or what, but we happened to see the same Doctor we say on the 16th when we were there. I'm so glad it's a quick fix, it really amazes me!

The first time she never made a peep while he did his little elbow bending trick. We then went to the bathroom and when she was done she reached right up for the door and opened it with the arm that only minutes before she refused to move.

This time, same thing. She's quite funny when she's telling you that the Doctor fixed her arm.

Last night while visiting my sister at work I got my first "how far along are you" question. The guy was about speechless when I told him "Only 8 weeks" I really can't believe I look that pregnant already. I know it's just because of the way my body is shaped, but still, I didn't plan on telling people, especially strangers, this early. Oh well.

Back to Reality

Going back to work after a weeks vacation, no matter what you did, pretty much sucks. I even had a girl tell me I looked tired today. Yes, of course I'm tired. Not that I slept any more over vacation or that my days were relaxing, but it wasn't work and work just makes me tired. Not to mention, I'm growing a baby :-)

I have decided to leave my vents about this vacation off of my blog because let's face it, when you don't normally spend 24/7 with a person and then you do for a week, things are sure to get a little rocky at some point. It mostly had to do with maintaining the same roles we have at home, even though we weren't at home. I don't think it's right and he doesn't notice. No matter though, overall it was a wonder vacation and I was sad to see it end.

We spent Tuesday through Friday in Old.Forge, NY. I just love the town. I don't think B loves it as much as I do, but he does understand the connection I have to it since growing up we went there every year for a good 10 years anyway. Most of the shops are still there, the restaurants, the arcades and of course the water park, Enchanted.Forest!

We stayed in these cute little cabins that had a double bed and bunk beds. Lillian did pretty well on the bottom bunk the first night, but fell off several times the 2nd night. So on the third night she slept with me on the double bed and B slept in the bunk. She had so much fun at the park and at the cabin. I have so many pictures I could share, but I'm to manage to only pick a few.

I forgot to mention, when they say be aware of the bears and keep all food inside in the Adirondacks, they mean it! Yes that is a small black bear at a neighboring cabin.

Wednesday afternoon we did the dry rides and Storybook Lane at the park.

Eating the candy house from Hansel and Gretel.

Driving the car. She wanted to ride this over and over again.

On the Carousel. She had to ride once with Daddy and then with mommy. The whole time saying "Up and Down", my smarty pants!

Thursday we went and did the water rides! I wish I could have taken more pictures, but it's kind of hard when you are in the water with her!

Riding with mommy on the "Lazy River" We did this several times.

Mommy let her play in the dirt to her hearts content on the last night.

Friday morning we headed home, did some wash, picked some veggies from the garden, then headed off in the opposite direction to stay with B's mom at a cabin her friends rented. Well, we left before actually getting a hold of her because she's never away from her phone for long. We kept trying and trying to call her, but finally realized we were going to have to turn around and head home because she wasn't answering to give us the last bit of direction to get to the cabin. She finally called us around 9:30 feeling horrible. She and her friends went on a wine tour because she didn't think we were coming until Saturday. B had been really upset about wasting the gas and time, but I explained to him that it wasn't all her fault and we probably should have waited for her to answer her phone before we left. I was just glad she was ok as I had started to worry about her. Not to mention, I wasn't all that disappointed to get to sleep in my own bed.

Saturday we got up early and headed back to the cabin, it was beautiful and right on the lake. Lillian just loved swimming in the lake and playing with the rocks. She loved riding on the boat once she got used to it and even went for a little ride on the jetski. I think one of her favorite parts though was jumping off the back of the boat into the middle of the lake. I can't believe what a dare devil she is! We spent the night Saturday and Sunday was a cook out with lots of swimming and fun. Lilli was not happy when it was time to leave.

Swimming in the middle of lake!

First water gun fight. She has pretty good aim for only being 26 month!

Daddy let her go for one last swim. Now he knows why they make swim diapers!

Last night we got home and Lilli and I did some gardening and shucked our peas (which she loves raw) before going to bed. She was so happy when I told her she was going to the sitter's today. She missed her and the boys a lot!

I will say one good thing about coming back to work though is that I'm no longer out in that muggy heat. I felt sick probably 75% of the time we were gone just because the heat made me feel sick. Every time I walked out where the heat was I felt nauseous instantly. The only way I survived the heat at the park was thanks to the water. The after noon we walked around and did the dry stuff I was amazed I didn't get sick.

7 Weeks!

And feeling like crap! Although this is something I'm very happy about even if I am miserable. I've never had heat effect me like this before. Its been 90 to 95 this week and the second I'm not in front of a fan I feel like I'm gonna be sick. Even when I was 9 months pregnant with Lilli the haet didn't make me feel sick.

I can't really update on anything this week since we are on vacation. Believe it or not its the first family vacation we've been on! I'll tell you more about it when I'm back on a computer and not my phone.

But I will try and post a picture of the love of my life.
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

121

That's what Bean's heart rate was today! Right where is should be! And Bean was also exactly 1 week further along in growth!!!

I'm feeling very confident now and I'm so over the moon I don't know what to do with myself.

This picture shows the baby's head at the top. Due to my extensive research (and staring at pictures on the Internet) I can see the little arm and leg buds. Of course this is a picture of a picture and my actual picture isn't as good as what the screen showed. It was amazing to see the little tail and umbilical cord though!

I really can't wait to tell my little girl that she's going to be a big sister! She is going to be sooo excited!

Oh and the midwife for now has suggested tums for the excessive acid in my stomach. We'll see if they work this time. if not she does have something she can give me, but they try to any type of meds in the first trimester.

Does it help???

So here's a silly question for those who've been pregnant.

Does actually getting sick make you feel better?

While pregnant with Lillian I pretty much felt like I could be sick all day. Most times to the point that had I knelt down in front of the toilet, I would have gotten sick. Well the fun begins again. I HATE getting sick, I avoid it at all costs, to the point that I will hold off going to the bathroom because the thought of looking at a toilet makes me almost lose it, let alone actually walking in the bathroom.

It seems this time though the actual feeling of "I'm going to be sick" is lasting longer and not fading into a bearable "blah, my stomach is really upset" feeling. Like I sit at my desk and concentrate on not getting sick rather than anything else.

So my question is, does getting sick make you feel better? After you get sick does the feeling go away?

Also, any suggestions for curing the increased acid in my stomach would be greatly appreciated. I constantly have indigestion and that burning in my stomach that makes me nauseous.

Have a great weekend!!! My appt on Monday was changed to 8am so I will probably wait until after to blog the good news!

6 Weeks for the 3rd time!

That's right, this is my 3rd pregnancy that has made it to 6 weeks! Well actually according to the measurement from my ultrasound on Monday I'm 6 weeks and 2 days, but I am going to stick to my original due date (based on ovulation) until I have my dating scan on Aug. 3.

Still not much in the way of stats:
Weight: +1.8 lb
Next Appt: July 18

The weight besides being normal fluctuation for me in a matter of a week, is also most likely to do with my issues of expelling waste. In 4 short days (I'm trying to convince myself here, humor me) we will have a follow up ultrasound to make sure the heart rate is increasing.

As far as symptoms goes, I have them... Some times just the thought of something makes me want to run to the bathroom. Smells that I like I have been finding over powering and nauseating. Bloated, well just look at the photo below. And exhausted isn't even the word for how I feel when I get home at night!

Although I don't feel ready to be telling people I'm pregnant, I would rather have them thinking I'm pregnant rather than thinking, "wow, she lost that weight and gained it back." or "she's chubby/fat."


This is what's going on with the little Bean according to Baby.Center:

This week's major developments: The nose, mouth, and ears that you'll spend so much time kissing in eight months are beginning to take shape. If you could see into your uterus, you'd find an oversize head and dark spots where your baby's eyes and nostrils are starting to form. His emerging ears are marked by small depressions on the sides of the head, and his arms and legs by protruding buds. His heart is beating about 100 to 160 times a minute — almost twice as fast as yours — and blood is beginning to course through his body. His intestines are developing, and the bud of tissue that will give rise to his lungs has appeared. His pituitary gland is forming, as are the rest of his brain, muscles, and bones. Right now, your baby is a quarter of an inch long, about the size of a lentil.

The Binkies in the garbage didn't last very long. I found Lillian in the bathroom hiding with them in her mouth after digging them out. Thankfully there wasn't much in the way of garbage in the can. Just some paper stuff. I was way too tired to deal with the screaming and crying last night so B sanitized them and we decided that when we tell her about the baby we will see if she wants to give them to her little brother or sister. The first trimester when lack of energy is so high, is not the time to be fighting a strong willed toddler for her binkies! I really can't wait to tell her about the baby though, I think she will be very excited!

We'll Call it a Success!

Last night was the first night sans binkies!!! It was not something I planned or was planning to push, but for the last few months it's something that I occasionally mention to Lillian just waiting for her to be ready.

Last night we were playing bedtime on the bed in her play room. She had her binkies and she mentioned something about them. And this followed

Me: don't you think it's about time we throw them away? You're a big girl now.
Lilli: No I don't want to put my binkies away.
Me: No I said throwthem away in the garbage. I have something else for you to sleep with when you want to throw them away.
Lilli: OK, let's throw them in the garbage.
Me: That means you won't have them for bed time anymore. Once they are in the garbage they are gone.
Lilli: OK

She proceded to get off the bed, walk to her bathroom and throw them in the garbage. Then we went in her room and I gave her the little Boots.doll I had bought for her last weekend. She says "Boots!!! I want Dora too!" Yeah silly mommy didn't think I needed to get both of them.

She was fine until it was time for bed, which I expected. Then she didn't want Bo.ots anymore, she wanted her binkies back, but they were kaka. We tried rocking and then laying in the crib rubbing her back, listening to her seahorse and different combinations of it all for about a half hour. Then Mommy gave in. We went in my room and put a movie in. By the end of the movie she had fallen asleep and so had I. She is normally quite well at putting herself back to sleep in the night, but without the binkies I decided I would probably get more sleep if she just stayed in our bed where she could cuddle if need be. I don't know if I was right or not since she only whined out a few times without even waking, plus that mean I had maybe 2 feet of bed space. But all is well. When she first woke up this morning she was upset that she didn't have her binkies but she got over it after a few minutes and then she was upset again when we got in the car because she normally doesn't give them up until she gets to the sitter's. But after talking a little and then her telling me "I'm not a big girl." She was fine again. She even seemed proud of herself when she told the sitter what she had done because she knew she would be proud. She hasn't had a binkie at the sitter's since she was a year old.

Here's to hoping tonight goes better and she can sleep in her own bed! Mamma's tired today!

What I've Been Waiting For

Yesterday seemed to take forever!

I love my midwife! She is just so happy for me I thought she was going to cry. She just kept saying "Yay, I'm so happy and excited for you!" We talked about symptoms, which I have a ton of and how we're pretty sure I know the date of my last AF. We talked about my happy pills and the decisions I have to make regarding them. Then she asked if I had any more questions. I was shocked she never even mentioned an ectopic so I asked what my chances were. She looked at me strange and went back in my file. (I love that their office uses laptops and everyone brings one in with them for easy reference). The OB had noted that I was at a slight increased risk and my MW knew I was worried so she ordered the ultrasound, of course with the warning that being I'm only 5 weeks and 6 days (according to LMP) we probably wouldn't be able to see anything, but we'd check the tubes and if we couldn't see anything anywhere she'd order some blood work.

I got right in for the ultrasound and again was warned that we may not see anything. I her I completely understood, but I didn't want to risk any more harm to my tubes by not checking. It's funny that she even mentioned "I was supposed to see you today, then I wasn't and now I am. How's your little one doing, I remember you from you last pregnancy." The personal interaction is what I love about this place!

So anyway, you don't care. She explained she was doing all the measurements of my uterus, tubes and ovaries, but she things she sees an interuteran pregnancy. After all the measurements, she went back to my uterus and I saw it right away, a sack and an embryo. As soon as she zoomed in to take a measurement we both saw that beautiful flicker of a heartbeat! That image keeps replaying over and over in my head. I could have laid there all after noon watching that. She was even able to zoom in enough to get the heart rate, 98bpm. It's low, but I have been assured over and over again it always starts low and chances are that it just started beating in the last day or two. But without me asking my MW said she was scheduling another ultrasound for next week to make sure the rate increases. So I'm sure you are thinking "Just shut up and show me the damn picture already." OK, OK.

There are some other things that are growing well too! I'm so proud of my garden and soon I will be eating my first vegetable from it! I don't know why, but this zucchini has grown 10 times faster than the rest of them!

Tomatoes on the plant that I thought had drown from the rain.

Green beans and peas that need a little tending this weekend.

Happy Thoughts

I would really appreciate happy thoughts and/or prayers from everyone.

In 7 (what will feel very long and drawn out) hours I have my first midwife appt. This appt was originally scheduled to check to see if the fluid had drained from my tubes. I hoped and prayed that this appt would end up being to check for an ectopic pregnancy instead and thankfully it has turned out that way!

Now I could use all the happy thoughts anyone has to offer that first they do take a look (which I do plan on insisting on if they don't think it's necessary) and second that what we see in a comfy little bean nestled snugly in my uterus happily exercising it's newly formed heart muscle. I do believe that is what we are going to see, but any extra help would be greatly appreciated.

The last few weekends Lillian and I have made the hour trip up to my mom's camp ground because my uncles T (from Boston) and H (from West Palm) have made the trip there to visit family. I surprised them all yesterday by just showing up and it really was a nice relaxing time. Lillian actually took a nap with Grandma and Uncle T and Aunt D and I got to just sit and chat for over an hour. I can't remember the last time we had a chance to do that. And of this time with family lent itself to some great picture taking opportunities.

Lillian painted her own fingernails for the first time!

I just love this picture! Lillian and Uncle T hanging out!

"No mom I'm not tired! No nap!" And after 5 minutes of a movie. . .

Reading a book and showing the pictures to her second cousin.

Pretty good form for a 2 year old don't you think? Never mind if she actually hits the ball.

She loves the older boys. And don't let him fool you, he loves playing with her too!

What a tiring day! Wish I could have fallen asleep on the way home!

I may be a little bias, but isn't she just the cutest thing?

I had this written

In my head last night, about 2am.

When I got up to go to the bathroom for the 3rd time last night I had a hard time falling back asleep. So I lay there thinking about all the things I wanted to blog about, I even had it titled and a rough draft in my head. Do you think I can remember any of it now?

Remember when I mentioned in this post how I've always thought there may be an issue with my thyroid, but both my GP and OB said my levels were normal. Well yesterday my new NP (nurse practitioner) called and wanted me to get more blood work done. Turns out that calcium and the function of your thyroid are connected. She ordered the PTH Intact test. There is some good information here. I have had symptoms of both hyper- and hypo- calcemia. They are also checking my Vitamin D and calcium levels again. I'm so glad I finally have a doctor that is taking this a step further than just "oh everything is relatively fine."

Do you remember me talking about the MIL that irritates me? You know, the one who took sleeping Lillian out of her seat while I was in the bathroom the day that I brought her home from the hospital. Well I've just recently "gotten over" how inconsiderate she is (not really the word I want, but it's all I can think of at the moment. Anyway, she calls me yesterday and says "where did you get that mat for under Lillian's car seat?" Then she she tells me that she bought Lillian a car seat. Now I appreciate the fact that she doesn't want me to have to keep switching the car seat from our car to hers when she has Lillian, but don't you think maybe she should have discussed this with me before buying it. Here are my problems 1- it's used. Not to say it isn't in good condition, but I would really like to have checked it out before she spent $50 on it. 2 - it's a brand I've never hear of. That doesn't mean it isn't a good brand, but I need to know ratings and such. She justified this by saying "I looked it up online and it's normally $190." Umm hello, expensive doesn't mean safe.

If she had talked to me I would have told her to go to Walmart and get one like the one I have that was only $60 and has high ratings for safety and use. Then I was sitting there thinking "there is no way Lillian is sitting in it unless I install it". Which thankfully she asked me to do. I honestly don't even trust B to put her car seat in a car. He never seems to tighten it enough, I think he gets frustrated.

So I'm thinking of saying something to her like "wish you would have said something, you could have gotten a new one like mine for $60."

Well that's all I can remember now... Hope everyone has a great weekend!

5 Weeks!

1 week down, 35 more to go!!!

Not much in the way of stats right now...

Weight: -.4lb

Next Dr appt: July 11 (only 4 more days!)

Last night I was feeling a bit worried because I never felt sick at all yesterday. Although I did feel bloated every time I ate something (which isn't much before I feel stuffed), it isn't quite as reassuring as the nausea. My little bean must have heard my thoughts though because I was up 4 times to go to the bathroom last night and several times this morning I'm pretty sure if I had been in front of a toilet I would have been sick.

I'm really not sure how long I will be able to keep this pregnancy a secret. Even though I'm just extremely bloated, I look like I have a belly already...

What's going on with Bean this week according to Baby.Center:

Deep in your uterus your embryo is growing at a furious pace. At this point, he's about the size of a sesame seed, and he looks more like a tiny tadpole than a human. He's now made up of three layers — the ectoderm, the mesoderm, and the endoderm — which will later form all of his organs and tissues.
The neural tube — from which your baby's brain, spinal cord, nerves, and backbone will sprout — is starting to develop in the top layer, called the ectoderm. This layer will also give rise to his skin, hair, nails, mammary and sweat glands, and tooth enamel.
His heart and circulatory system begin to form in the middle layer, or mesoderm. (This week, in fact, his tiny heart begins to divide into chambers and beat and pump blood.) The mesoderm will also form your baby's muscles, cartilage, bone, and subcutaneous (under skin) tissue.
The third layer, or endoderm, will house his lungs, intestines, and rudimentary urinary system, as well as his thyroid, liver, and pancreas. In the meantime, the primitive placenta and umbilical cord, which deliver nourishment and oxygen to your baby, are already on the job.

Passing Time

That's what I'm trying to do, pass the time. I was very happy to have a long holiday weekend this week and wish it could have been longer.

Saturday was my sister's 21st birthday and party. She rented out part of a local bar that gives drink specials and a DJ for 3 hours. Obviously my original plan was to celebrate my little sister's 21st birthday to the fullest with her. But when I found out I was pregnant I figured the next best thing I could do was be the DD for everyone. The problem with this plan became very apparent quickly. No one would believe I was just being a nice sister and driving for her. Then when my family realized I was sick it was very obvious to them I must be pregnant. So pretty much all of our family knows now. It was a long night, but I managed to make it to 4am after several trips to the bar and then back to my mom's where my wonderful uncle made pizza and wings for everyone to enjoy.

Sunday I spent the day with the family up at my mom's camp. Lillian had fun bonding with her uncle's that she doesn't get to see often and I had fun catching up with everyone. My sister road home with me and we were watching fireworks as I drove, well that was a mistake because I missed my exit off the thruway and it took us on a 20 minute detour, resulting in me not getting to bed until about midnight.

On Monday it was another Family picnic with B's family. We decided to tell the family there as well since it really isn't much of a secret anymore. I felt horrible when I fell asleep for 2 hours with Lillian during the cookout, but I couldn't help it. The last two late nights had finally caught up with me.

I was so glad to have yesterday off too. I had so many things I wanted to do around the house, but instead decided to take Lillian on a shopping trip since I don't have time for that stuff during the week. It was great, I found clothes for both of us and shoes for B. Then I took Lillian to her first movie. She was in awe at the screen and how big it was and that I was letting her eat popcorn while she watched the movie and she didn't have to be at her table.

Now today I am back to work and wishing time would go by faster. I can't wait for the week to be over and then for Monday to be here so I can have my appt. I really want to know that there is a heart beating in my belly. I'm extremely bloated every time I eat, have indigestion a lot and feel sick in the night, but I need confirmation for my brain.

The Ups and Downs

Yes, I think that roller coaster is shaped about like the emotional one I'm riding is. After my post yesterday I started to feel guilty, or something. I started to feel like, maybe I should be more worried, maybe I'm kidding myself. While I still feel rather confident that this pregnancy is going to go to 37 weeks, I'm paying way too much attention to what I am or am not feeling.

After my post yesterday I cramped most of the morning. This had me scared. It was like the bake breaking, just kill me now cramps I get with AF, but it was there and it was constant. Now did I maybe manifest these cramps because all of a sudden I was doubting my positive feeling? Possibly. I mean come on now, I've had no problem manifesting pregnancy symptoms in the past.

During the day I had decided I was going to tell my grandparents that I was pregnant. They live in NC (14 hours from me) and we only see them a few times a year. This was something I was very excited to tell them in person rather than a card and a phone call like last time. But by the time the after noon arrived I was thinking, but if something goes wrong I will have to tell them and I don't want to have to tell them something like that like I did before. But I sucked it up and told them anyway. It made me realize besides you Internets how few people really know what B and I have been going through for the last year and a half.

My grandmother said to me "Someone was just asking me the other day when I thought you would have another one. I told them I didn't know. Maybe you liked the age difference between you and your sister (7 years) and you were waiting." I told her "No, we've actually been trying for a year and a half." And she just kind of looked at me like "Oh". She did understand though why we aren't really telling people, or Lillian.

I'm so excited to tell Lillian because she has been around enough pregnancies and is old enough now to understand that when a girl has a baby in her belly, eventually there is a new baby to play with. And she LOVES new babies.

As for this very moment, I'm confident. It may have something to do with nausea/indigestion I've had for 3 hours now. I'm not complaining though, I'll take whatever symptoms I can get for the next 8 weeks and more.

And I want to leave you with this. Child Bearing Hips posted this link on her blog and I think it is worth sharing. When some one goes through a rough time in life, the most important thing is to be there for them. You may not know what to say or do, but the wrong thing is better than nothing.