18 Months!

I really can't believe my baby girl is 18 months.  I swear she gets smarter every day!  And boy does her personality get stronger and stronger, she certainly knows what she wants.

She loves her sitter and the kids there.  When she gets up in the morning I ask her where she's going and she says Traci and then lists the kids she's going to see.  Some days asking her is the only way to get her to get dressed.  She used to be a morning person like her daddy, but more and more she wants to hang out in her PJs and watch her some Mickey.Mouse.Club.House or Bee.Movie.

We have put off potty training for a bit.  She started to cry and fight when you'd ask her if she had to go potty so I figure it was a sign that she wasn't ready.  So we made a step back to Pull.Ups. and we just let her use the potty when she asks to.

She can pretty much dress herself now.  She can put a shirt, pants, socks and shoes on now.  Every morning I let her pick out her shoes and hat.  Some times it makes for a comical outfit, but I like letting her have some independence.  Like the other day when she wore her First Birthday hat that's shaped like a cake with a candle on top.

And I can happily say that she is finally starting to grow some hair!!!  I can even put a clip in it, although there is no reason to at this point.

Here are some recent pictures of my Silly Lilly:

The Will of a 17 Month Old

My daughter has some serious will power.  Really not surprising considering her parents.

Potty training is, well it's going.  In the beginning she was doing great!  Now she has learned that if she holds it til nap time she'll get a pull-up on and can go in that rather than the potty.  Very frustrating, but I can't MAKE her go on the potty.  She will adamantly tell me no she didn't pee her pants as I'm looking at her with soaked legs.  But if she has a pull-up on she will run right over to me and ask for a new pull-up.  In the morning she refuses to even sit on the potty.  So I ask her "do you want to wear diapers again."  And the answer is always "No." and she sits down.  So I'm pretty sure she knows what I'm thinking about, but wants to make sure she does things on her own terms.

I have tossed around several thoughts about how to move forward as she didn't go in the potty at all this weekend.  My one thought is to not put a pull-up on her for naps and just make sure she sleeps on a protected surface.  The problem with this is asking the sitter the comply.  Obviously there would need to be a sheet or something that would need to be washed after nap time.

My second thought is to just go back to diapers for a week or two and try again then.

And of course not 5 minutes after discussing this with the sitter, Lillian gets up from her nap and uses the potty.  I really think she knows when she's driving me insane!

Is Anyone Reading???

I hope so, but at the same time really don't care.  I need an outlet and this is it for now.  Even though I have once again opened this up for all the internets too see!!!  I need to be honest with myself and the world so here it is for all to see.

I am still having a very hard time at work.  After 16 months of being back to work you would think that I would have adjusted by now.  But if I am completely honest I have not.  Not one bit.  I dread leaving her every day and do nothing but think about her all day and constantly try to think of ways that I could work from home, or not at all for that matter.  I have my boutique that I opened up online and I would love to make it my full time job, but it just can't happen.  I wouldn't be able to work and keep up with orders while I was building up the business enough to leave my job. 

No I don't want to be home because I think she will forget who mommy is or because I don't think the sitter takes good care of her or any of those typical initial feelings.  I want to be home with her because I feel like I am missing so much of her life.  My favorite thing is to watch her learn something knew.  And the look on her face when she figures something out for herself is priceless and I feel like I am missing those things.

I am also afraid that she may be our only little one.  We have been trying to get pregnant again since December and have had no luck.  Well I guess to be fair I have been trying to get pregnant again since Dec. just by trying to time things right.  We started aggressively started trying again in April.  In May I had a chemical pregnancy and last month I was for sure we finally did it.  I started producing colostrum again, was feeling tired and bloated, but AF showed right on time.  And guess what, I'm on CD 9 and still producing colostrum.  Not to mention AF has been gone for 4 days and I'm still cramping off and on.  I did take another test just to make sure and it was a BFN.  Today I will be calling the OBGYN to ask about having my hormone levels check.

I was going to talk about Potty training again, but I think this is enough unloading on the Internet for one day...

It's Not That Hard!

Ok I have to give my husband credit, he has been "trying", but why do men seem to think having a child in tow is a handicap. 

A few examples:

Last Week:
B bowls on Tuesday, I stay home with Lillian, I bowl on Thursdays, he stays home.  Well he gets a ride and I have to drive myself.  Well on Thursday B had a rain day for most of the day at work so he was home.  I got home at 4:45 and needed to around 5:45 because I had to be there by 6.  This was our conversation:
B: "what did you pick up for dinner?" 
Me: Nothing, there is chicken, broccoli, cheese and noodles in the fridge.
B: Well what time do you have to leave I need to go get something for dinner
*Keep in mind it's at least 10 minutes to the nearest place to get ANY food*
Me: I need to leave by 5:45, there is stuff in the fridge to cook
B: I won't be able to cook
Me:  Would you like me to go cook?
B: I guess if you want to...

No I didn't want to but I did because I didn't see any point in driving back to town, back home and then back to town and back again for bowling.  We can't afford the gas.  Not to mention he was home all afternoon if he wanted me to get dinner why didn't call me?!

Last Night:
So last night we are at the store to get a few things including B's hunting license.  Well Lillian didn't want to be in the cart and only wanted to be held by daddy.  There was no one at the sporting goods counter so I said to B "I'll go over to the children's clothes while you wait."  Well Lillian didn't want to go with me so he says "Well I'll just go with you and come back."  I said "My point was to not waste time with both of us standing here waiting.  Why can't you just do it with her."  You know what he said, "Well I'm gonna have to sign something and get into my wallet."  Yup that was his excuse!  Good thing I've never asked him to take her to the doctor or he's never had go shopping alone with her cause OMG what would he do if she was there??? 

I just really don't get it, how does he think I get anything done???

Potty Training!

So here we are, 16 Months and 3 Weeks old, and we've officially started potty training!

My beginning thoughts...
I honestly did very little research on this.  I feel that going to the bathroom is an instinct that just needs to be recognized and will probably take a few steps to get there.

I decided it is time to potty train because Lillian knows where her "pee" and "poop" are.  And I believe she tells me she went to the bathroom by pointing and saying "pee" or "poop" although not always the case.

I realized (quite some time ago) that Lillian could really care less if she's wet or has a poopy diaper.  Pretty much since she was born she hasn't really cared.  She never even had a diaper rash until she was over a year old.  I was glad to have those pampers that show a line on them when they are wet cause other wise I was constantly squeezing at her crotch to make sure her diaper wasn't soaked.  It is amazing how "dry" the diapers these days keep a babies bottom.  So back to topic, I realized that she needed to learn what "wet" feels like.  A few months ago I bought her some of those Pull.Ups with the "cool alert".  Yeah well they didn't "alert" her to much except she couldn't take them off and got to stand up to put them on rather than lay down.  This is where I did some research.  Turns out Pull.Ups and Easy.Ups still keep their bottoms pretty dry.  So I went in search of leak proof undies.  And I found some great ones (I think), but there is no way I'm paying $8.95 for a pair of underwear, I don't even pay that for my underwear!!!  They also have ones that aren't "waterproof" and you can get 3 pair for $12.95, but why get them when I can just go to WallyWord and get these.  Yes her pants still get wet when she misses the potty and some times even her socks, but guess what, she tells me when she has to pee!!!

Day 1:
So we started first thing Saturday morning.  We got up and instead of putting a diaper on we put big girl undies on.  She thought it was fun.  Then I had her "help" me move her potty chair from the bathroom (where she would occasionally use it before bath time) out into the main living area where we spend most of our time.  I continually asked her if she had to go potty and she always said no.  Eventually she did have to go and ended up going in her pants.  It was actually quite comical because she looked at me, while she was going and her pants were getting wet, with total confusion.  Like she knew she was going potty, but didn't understand why her legs were wet.  I took her over to her potty chair and said "this is where we pee".  I also let her go around with nothing on for a while after a few trips to the bathroom.  When it got close to nap time we put on a Pull.up.  Throughout the day we never actually made it to the potty in time, be she would tell me "potty" and we'd go over and sit there and talk about the potty and peeing and what not.

Day 2:
Day two was pretty much the same as day 1.  We got up and put underwear on.  We had an accident after breakfast put she said "potty" to daddy (who let's face it is totally clueless) and he picked her up and looked at me horrified and said "she already peed!" We took her to the potty and changed and put a Pull.Up on because it was almost nap time.  As she was running around playing she ran over to the potty and said "poop" and sat on her potty.  By the time I got over there she had pooped in her Pull.Up but I was so proud of her for going over there.  We went to her grandma's to watch football and took a potty with us (along with 3 pairs of pants, underwear and some Pull.Ups.  We went through all the undies and pants, but in the process she made it to the potty in time TWICE!!!

After Thoughts:
I think celebrating the small accomplishments is important.  The first day we really celebrated her just telling us she peed and just sitting on the potty.  The second day we just told her good girl for trying, but really celebrated when she made it in time.  And I think this is how we will continue for a while.

I also think it really helps that we put the potty in a main area where it doesn't seem like a "burden" to go.  I also think her seeing it frequently while playing helps her keep her mind on it.

And she also likes to put her own underwear on!

Confession

I have not posted in a long time for very childish reasons! 

The biggest reason being that I wrote up an extremely long post on my blackberry and saved it as a draft and well it didn't save.  I'm still very sore about this!

Anyway, Lillian is going to be 17 months old in 2 short weeks and I can't believe it!  She is a very smart little girl.  When I took her in for her 15 month check up the doctor was very impressed with her speach.  Apparently she is advanced in that area.  I can't even keep track of all the words she knows now:

"uckle" - Buckle - from her carseat
"shooos" -Shoes - because she LOVES shoes, hers and everyone elses.
"ocks" - Socks - yup loves those too
"Gook" - Duke - our dog
"ickle" - Tickle
"juice" - refers to any drink
"acker" - Cracker
"ookie" - Cookie
"pleace" - Please
"eareal" - Cereal
"bankie" - Blankie and Binkie
"nye nye"  - night night, she's ready to sleep
"eat" - she's hungry
"up" and "down" also knows they are opposites
"hat" - She LOVES these too and also refers to her headbands as hats
"hot" - she knows when this are hot and blows on them.
There's more, but I can't think of them

Parts of the body she knows:
hair - can't say it but will "wash it"
eyes - she now tells me when her eyes hurt, normally from poking them.
nose - "noose", likes to pick it cause mommy doesn't want her to
mouth - does the brrrr and "plucking" her lips when you ask where it is
fingers - "ingers" - she also says "ET" and sticks out her pointer finger for you to touch
arm - she can say it and know where it is.
armpit - "armpi" so cute to see her point and say it
feet - she can say it and mostly knows it only for putting pants on
toes - toose - she loves pointing to them
pee - she says it and points to her vagina
poop - she says it and points to her butt
belly and button - only says "bewy" though.  Love looking for the button

Besides that she is running all over and loves to open and close doors.  She tries dressing herself although it mostly consists of trying to put her shirts on her legs.  She loves laying her babies down and covering them up and telling you "ssh".  She can put her hats on herself.  She now eats with her fork and spoon and can use adult ones if needed.  I don't think it will be long before we need to transition to a toddler bed as she is learning how to climb.  And being that she doesn't have a stroller for her dolls she has learned to put her dolls in the handle of this toy and push them around.  My little engineer.

I think that's it for now, I'll leave you with some pictures:

My Silly Lilly!

I Survived

That's right, Lillian is now 1 Year 5 days old and I am still alive! 

Yesterday was her 1 year well child visit and all I can say is that her daddy will be taking her to her 2 year appointment.  Watching her get shots is bad enough, but watching her get her blood drawn was terrible for me.  I don't even like to see adults get needles.  Anyway..

Stats:
21 lb 4 oz
29.75 inches

Both are average and right on track.  Doctor said she's perfect and well taken care of.

Now for the fun stuff... her birthday party.  It was supposed to be 70 that day, but between the clouds and the wind it certainly didn't feel it.  She only took a half hour nap that morning so I was afraid she was going to be very cranky, but she did well.  We ended up with 50 people attending and everyone said they had fun.  Pictures are below!

 This is my favorite picture

And I love this one of her playing with her Tutu

The only photo us that I like

She wanted to use this sippy immediately!

She was really into opening her presents...

 Lillian's cake!

Big Girl

The Ticker on the Right

You see that ticker on the right?  The one that as of right now says "Its 3 days until Lillian's first Birthday"

Well it has me all sorts of anxious.  I love seeing her grow up and learn new things and I can't even express how proud of her I am, but I'm also sad that she will no longer be a baby.  She is going to be my toddler.  Its funny that I love each stage as she grows, but I miss the ones before more and more.

Way Too Long

It was brought to my attention this morning that I haven't posted on here is SEVERAL months!

Lillian is going to be 1 year old in 11 days!!!  I can't believe how big she is getting. 

Current words:
Hi
Baby
Ball

And yes these are words that she uses in and the proper context.  Every time she hears the phone ring or we are talking on it she is saying "Hi, Hi, Hi..."  Baby comes out more like "bay-bay" but she loves her baby and loves to wash it's face and give it a bottle.  And well she just loves telling us what the ball is cause she's so proud of herself.

On Saturday she took her first 2 steps.  She's very caucious though.  She's been standing on her own for probably a month now.

She has 5 teeth as of Friday the 9th.  And her two I teeth are right there getting ready to poke through.  She currently eats all adult food besides the toddler snacks she gets.  Pizza and spaghetti are her favorites.  I found if I give her whole pieces of things like pizza, rather than cutting it up she is less likely to choke herself.  She has a tendency to shove as many pieces in her mouth as she can if I cut things up, so I stopped.

She hasn't had a bottle in over a month now.  I am still breastfeeding her every morning, but besides that she gets sippy cups.  With every meal and some times in between she gets a cup with a mixture of breastmilk and whole milk and seems to be doing fine with it.

I'm so proud of her and can't believe how grown up she seems!  I know these aren't the most recent, but these are the latests pictures I have on this computer...

This is her and her best friend.  Some days she refuses to nap without him!

She fell asleep on him during a walk with the sitter.

Once again she was cuddling with her best friend

And here's my happy little munchkin!

9 Months

I can't believe my little girl turned 9 months old on Saturday.  In just 3 short months she is going to be a year old!!!  But I will say she is absolutely amazing. 

Her stats:
18 lb 5oz
27 3/4 inches

She crawls very well now, but only to get to things she wants.  It isn't one of those things where we can "chase" after her or anything.  She'd rather be standing any time, but not in her walker or jummer, or exersaucer, but at the coffee table (aka a rubbermaid tub with a bunch of her toys in it) or at the couch or holding on to you. 

Her learning to stand in her crib has made letting her cry it out even harder.  Before she would sit there and cry and eventually just lay down, now she stands there FOREVER!

For the first time ever B and I spent 48 hours without her.  Tuesday morning last week I took her to the sitter at 7am, by noon I felt horrible so I went home, called the dr and went to bed.  I called my mom at 3 and asked her to pick Lillian up and keep her for the night because I couldn't physically take care of Lillian and B had bowling and wouldn't be home til late.  Dr. said I had the flu so mom took Lillian to the sitter Wednesday and the plan was for B to pick her up that afternoon, but he came down with the flu too so once again I called mom and had her take Lillian for the night.  Finally at 4 on Thursday I went and picked up my little girl.  I cried so hard when I made the decision to leave her at my mom's for the second night, but in the end it was for the best as she seems to have escaped the flu!

*For those of you wondering, I did get the flu shot and the Dr. said that it was a different strand that I got.  Lillian did not get ther flu shot, but even if she had it wouldn't have mattered because of the strand that it was.  But thankfully she seems to have evaded it!

So does any one have any ideas for 1st birthday parties.  I figure if I start planning now I may be able to not feel so stressed about it.

Lillian's First Christmas

Obviously I haven't been able to keep up on here like I wanted, but to me it is more important to stay in touch with my friends and spend time with my family.

I once again am in search of a new sitter.  I love the sitter I have right now, but she has decided that when she takes on her neice it will just be too much to handle and she had already promised her SIL that she would babysit before she start watching Lillian.  I'm just greatful that she was honest with me and didn't try it and get too stressed and so on.

Lillian's first Christmas was awesome.  Thanks to the presents she has learned to crawl!  And I don't think it will be too long before she's walking as she loves to stand up now.  She has also learned to pull herself up onto low things.  Nothing that she has to reach above her head for yet. 

She is eating like a champ.  I can pretty much give her whatever we are eating now.  She loves boiled and baked potatoes and anything she can feed to herself.  Now that she has 2 teeth she loves to chew.

I still miss her terribly while I'm at work but I suppose I've adjusted to it.  I really have no choice.

Well I must get back to work...

Helping mommy make cookies

I really enjoyed my first Christams Cookie!

I know I'm Cute

What are you staring at?