Top 10 Things AF Should Have Done

So AF arrived and I'm not happy about it. I think I will leave her a list of 10 possible things she can do next month instead of visit me...

10) Visit my mom, she hasn't seen you in quite some time, I'm sure she wouldn't mind if you stayed with her for a while so I can become a mommy and her a grandma.

9) Visit my sister, she certainly doesn't need to grow a baby!

8) Go to a Soccer/Basketball/Football/Baseball, any kind of camp and learn how to play the sport. Sports are great exercise and make you feel good about yourself. I'm sure you're self esteem is pretty low with all of us women bashing you all the time.

7) Learn to crotchet or knit. Hobbies are great, gives you something to do rather than empty my uterus month after month.

6) Camping, how much fun would that be?! Maybe some hiking and fishing, you could stay busy for say 9 months on a camping trip!

5) Don't like camping? How about a nice resort in the Caribbean? I'm will to pay for an all inclusive! Food, drinks, even a massage or something.

4) Too hot down south? How about backpacking across Europe? I'm sure that would take you all of 9 months. But no visiting the women there that don't want you either.

3) What if I got you some nice looking cabana boys to go where ever you wanted?

2) Skiing in Aspen? I can arrange it. A nice lodge, fireplace with hot coca and a good book, sounds nice doesn't it?

1) Write a book. For all of us women who want to keep you away for 9 months. Tell us what we can do for you to keep you happy for 9 months so we don't have to keep buying these damn books from other women who obviously don't know what they're talking about. Cause if they did, you wouldn't be here right now! (obviously this isn't true, those women are way more intelligent than myself, they've had kids!)

What was I Thinking?

So I've got all the signs I did during my last pregnancy and then some. Like I told you yesterday.

Well I POA OPK last night (Just to feed the addiction, I'm not using them anymore as long as I stick to my plan so why not?) and it was just as dark as the one I took the day before I got a +.

So I took my temp this morning and guess what, it's up to 97.99. My temp never gets that high, so what do I do, POAS! I figured why not? Well it was a BFNNNNNN. I should have known, I'm only 10dpo, what was I thinking? This could all very well still be in my head and AF is going to arrive shortly. No more testing until at least Saturday! I promise!!!

IPS and PUPO

Well, I'm scared to get my hopes up. But this is what's going on
Cramps that feel like I did too many crunches and now I'm stretching started 2 days ago, but aren't as long and constant today.
TMI, but constipation. I kinda feel like I'm going to have the runs, but I can't go, but I sure can fart! This started yesterday morning and I finally had a BM this morning, but still feel constipated if that makes sense.
Felt sick off and on, this is the second day of this. And the taste in my mouth is desgusting and won't go away!
Tired again, but that could be a number of things. I had mono just a few weeks ago.
Slight back ache. And right now I have a headache.
DH also said I'm really irritable. He looked at me and said "maybe you've got a little one growing in you!" Yeah I almost started crying when he thought my "What?" was snappy.

In short I'm either getting sick or I do have a little one growing in me. What do you think? When do you think I should test? I'm sure I'm going to break down and test way too early!!!

Just in time?

Well I think I may have finally made it to the TWW! I'm a little worried though, it doesn't seem that my temp actually shifts that much (you can check out my chart here http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/BrandiH). I suppose without the temp on CD16, the shift is bigger than it looks, and that temp should probably be ignored as there were so many factors that effected it. I suppose it's just time to wait and see. I have to say though if AF is going to arrive she better do it before the 4th! I'm sick of not enjoying a few drinks (or too many) with everyone else because, what if I'm pregnant? to later have AF show her ugly face.

Now I just have to tell myself I will not POAS before 14dpo (this means I won't feel bad POAS at 12dpo, if I said 12dpo, I'd be sure to test on 10dpo). It's going to be a long wait!!!

Frustrated!!!

So I keep telling myself that if I'm not getting pregnant I should at least try to lose some of this extra weight so that when I do get pregnant I don't just look fat. Well that didn't go so well last week. I gained 4 freakin pounds!!! Yeah way to go on the weight loss!!!

And well I'm now on CD 18 and still haven't O'd. This is driving me nuts! DOn't get me wrong, I love to baby dance, but I'm getting tired!

The weekend was nice though. Friday night our friends brought their little girls to our camp. One is 18 months old and the other is 3 and a half months. They are the cutest little girls. The 18 month old is getting to that age where she tries to see what she can get away with before mommy and daddy get really mad. Besides a few "How many times will they tell me no before they get up?" moments she was very well behaved, even when she got tired and cranky.

All I can say is I can't wait til I have one!

The Beginning...

Brian and I were married on August 17th, 2007 after dating for 4 years. Our honeymoon wasn't until August and while we gone I took my last birthcontrol pill. Not on purpose, but I ran out because I couldn't get an appointment before we left to get more. So by the time I was able to order my pill my period was 3 days late and we figured we managed to get pregnant the first time. Cause lets face it, everything we are taught in school tells us that if you have sex without protection you are going to get pregnant. Well after AF being 5 days late we were disappointed. That was when we decided it was time to have kids. We officially started trying at the end of October, and on December 17th, on only our second cycle trying we found out we were expecting. We were so excited and waited a week to tell our family and friends. It was great, we wrapped up presents and gave them to them and it will always be the best Christmas I've ever had. Yes even after I have children it will be the best. It's not very often you can give the gift of a grandchild to your parents for Christmas. A few weeks later, on Jan. 8th I started spotting. We went and had an ultrasound and the baby was measuring a week behind and only had a hear rate of 74bpm. The doctor scheduled another ultrasound for Thursday and during that one they could no longer find a heartbeat. This didn't surprise me because I had started cramping and I just had that feeling. On Saturday the 12th I had a DnC. We are now on our 5th cycle trying since the miscarriage and I'm getting frustrated. Why did it only take 2 tries the first time and now we are on 5?

Before our wedding I managed to lose 20lbs and I was feeling great about myself. Well since the miscarriage I've gained it all back and I'm back trying to lose weight again. It hasn't been going too well though. I'm eating way more fruits and veggies, but the weight isn't come off. I need to start exercising again, but with just getting over mono (for the 3rd time) I haven't started that back up again.