A Few Favorites...

So Comfortable!

My little girl is a Tom Boy
Helping Daddy shave the pig before cooking.

My model

Watching the sun set with Daddy

She wanted to be held like sissy

Nursing

With Lillian I loved every minute of it.  OK, that's a lie.  There was a two week period after she started bottles that I loathed it and almost gave up.  But my determination pulled through.  This time, it's different.  I don't know if it's because with 2 children there is more stress and I want to "relieve" that stress (aka consume massive amounts of alcohol).  Or if it's because I'm even more upset about being a working mom and having to pump more than I actually get to nurse.  If it's because I barely pump what Laney consumes (which I think is because the sitter over feeds her) or something else that I can't even think of right now.

Either way, something changed last week.  I don’t know what it was.  Most times I’m upset I can’t drink and B can because I have to drive, work, feed, don’t have a pump, whatever.  I went on vacation last week prepared!  I had enough frozen milk with me to feed her all week if I wanted to.  We didn’t have a microwave or hot water so I would have had to heat the bottles on the stove, but it was completely doable.  

Guess what; while I did indulge in maybe 6 drinks all week, I nursed Laney 100% on demand the whole time!  I didn’t even really have the urge to drink.  Maybe because I felt like crap the first 4 days we were there, maybe because I HATE pumping, I don’t know.  The one night I thought about indulging, the thought of having to get up to heat water on the stove for her 2am feeding was enough to make it not worth it.  I enjoyed every second of it too.

It didn’t really seem like a big deal, just like it didn’t seem like a big deal for B and Lilli to stay over at another family’s cabin by the fire while I took Laney back for bed.  I had the video monitor, but I normally just stayed, mostly because I didn’t feel well and went to sleep too.

What sucks, is this week, being back at work, only getting to nurse her maybe 3 times a day (including her midnight feeding), and having to pump.  I HATE pumping.  My breasts are tender and nipples too.  Not to mention since feeding her on demand for 9 days straight, you’d think I’d have no problem pumping what she consumes at the sitter, but no.  If I didn’t feed her on one side and pump the other in the morning, I’d never pump enough.  I don’t know if the sitter feeds her just because she starts sucking on her thumb or if she’s mistaking teething signs for hunger, or if Laney drinks the whole bottle just because it’s there, but something is off.

One of my favorite things about nursing is when
she falls asleep with her hand gently resting on me.
Obviously I covered myself up before taking the picture!

The Last Few Weeks... In Pictures!

The last few weeks have been quite busy so I'm basically doing a picture dump from my phone...

A quick rundown:

7/2 - Called in to work, took Lillian to urgent care, diagnosed with Hand foot mouth disease

      - Aunt Pocca's Birthday, Uncle Harry arrived, Had birthday dinner with the family.

7/3 - Worked, was supposed to go to Mom's camp, but didn't since Lillian was sick

7/4 - Decided to go to Mom's camp, even with Lillian, she had been fever and meds free for over 24 hours, sores healing and using sanitizer every 10 minutes.

7/5 - Spent day with family and came home to work the next day

7/6 - Worked til 1.  Felt like crap, went home and packed for our weeks vacation

7/7 - Felt worse, finished packing, went to Wal.mart for essentials, left for vacation

7/14 - Came home to a hot muggy house and besides work I've pretty much spent all my time in my air conditioned bedroom since we got home!

Lillian came down with Hand Foot Mouth Disease...

My Uncle Harry came to visit from Florida...

Lillian helping Uncle Harry make Lasagna, she did great!

Delaney loved Uncle Harry, he got lots of practice
for his grandson that is expected in 12 short weeks!

 My Uncle Tommy and cousin Alex came to visit...

Meeting Delaney for the first time

Lilli and her "boy"  She's been in love with Alex since Thanksgiving
according to her he even has a room at my mom's where he stayed last time.

Napping while the adults played corn hole

 We stayed in a cabin at a campground for a week with 2 other families.

Lilli and Kia get buried in the sand

Lilli and Daddy make a castle

 Lillian spent maybe 5 minutes in the water, the rest of the time was spent playing in the sand.

Laney refuses to nap at the beach

Morning cuddles, they love each other <3

Spending time with Daddy

So tired she couldn't hold her eyes open, but refused to lay down.
If I didn't know better I would have said she was drunk!

Daddy taught Lillian to fish

Lillian caught her first fish just minutes after telling daddy
"I can do it myself, I don't need your help!"

Love

Mommy and sissy watching Lilli fish...

I'm glad to now be home to relax!  My house is a disaster, but I'm in no rush to get things in order, it's been to hot and muggy in my house to even care.

4 Months

I’m  only a couple weeks late writing about this…

Delaney turned 4 months on July 3^rd.  It was a pretty busy time for us between her aunt’s birthday, her great uncles coming to visit and her sister having hand foot mouth disease.  I will post on all that stuff later though.  This post is for my little girl…

Stats:

Weight: 15lb 3oz (87%)

Height: 26 inches (95%)

Her growth seems to be slowing some and it doesn't bother me one bit.  

She seems to be such a content little girl most of the time.  Happy to just sit there and watch as the world happens around her.  Only one week after she turned 3 months she started rolling over, but even now, a month later she only rolls over when she feels she has the need.

This month we got out the exersaucer.  I wasn't sure her back was ready for it, but honestly my arms were starting to get tired holding her in the standing position.

She loves it!  I'm happy to have something to put her in that doesn't put her to sleep like the swing does while I make dinner or we eat dinner.


We also tried cereal this month at the suggestion of her pediatrician because she is still spitting up and having some reflux pain.  

She didn't seem to mind the oatmeal and did quite well eating it, but her poor little belly just isn't ready for it yet.  For the two night she ate it, she had horrible, horrible gas pains and left both of us with little sleep.  We'll try again in another month or so and see what happens.


I love having my own little model for some of the stuff I've been crocheting, but when I can't find my camera it makes it hard to get some really good shots.  My phone doesn't do too bad capturing her cuteness though!

She also started laughing just a few days after turning 4 months, its just the cutest sound, of course I said the same thing about her sister's laugh too!  Her face was adorable when she realized the noise was coming from her.

She of course loves to blow bubbles and babble to herself all the time, but I don't have a good video of that yet!

One of my favorites

Rolling With It

I've just been going along with whatever comes at me the last few days.  It's been hot and miserable and I just haven't felt like "dealing" with anything.  I've been tired.

Tuesday night was the Chase Corporate Challenge.  The same race I blogged about a year ago.  Oddly enough it was just one week later that I found out I was pregnant.  I was pretty excited to compare my times from being barely pregnant to being 15 weeks postpartum.

Again this year I was disappointed with having to walk before I ever made the one mile marker, but this year the heat and humidity was unbearable.  When I reached the one mile marker I realized that it was also the turn around point.  They decided to make the race a "Run For Fun" and shorten it to only 2 miles.  This also meant that they didn't time it.  Thankfully I was still wearing my heart monitor and Nike Sports band.  According to the sports band, which I forgot to turn off right away, it took me 28:09 to finish the 2 miles.  So knowing that I actually grabbed some water and walked back to my mother who was waiting, it probably took me somewhere between 26 and 27 minutes to finish 2 miles.  While this is not stellar and something I certainly want to improve, I am proud.  I normally run at 4am, before any other physical activity to speak of and it's a good 30 degrees cooler than it was during the run, without the (according to the weather man) oppressive humidity.

And now for the real topic of Rolling with it.  My baby girl Delaney Rose started rolling over last week!  I've been meaning to post about it, but put it off cause I wanted to include the video I got, but it appears I may never post about it if I wait until I get a moment to do that!  So at only 14 weeks and 2 days old she rolled from her BACK to FRONT.  By Tuesday she had figured out how to get that second arm out from under her and by Saturday at only 15 weeks old she rolled across our King Size bed!  Now thankfully at this point she is only using rolling as a mechanism to get comfortable, I'm hoping it's a while before she realizes it can get her to things she wants to reach and grab for.  Which she is doing.  And I'm pretty sure she has good depth perception cause she only reaches for the things she knows she can reach, otherwise she just sits and watches.  My baby girl is getting too big too quick!

Waiting for Mommy to cool down after the run.

Loss

I can't imagine losing one of my girls.  I can't imagine the physical pain my heart would feel, my lungs and just my body overall.  When Lilian was born I had a separation anxiety that literally caused me to have chest pains even if B held her for 5 minutes on the couch next to me.  Thankfully with Delaney this has not been so bad.  While I think about them both all day at work and can't wait for that moment I can pick her up and hug her and the look on Lillian's face when I pull in the driveway, I'm doing ok.

While these days we have IRL (In Real Life) friends and "cyber" friends, I think there is a point in which your "cyber" friends can cross over and become your IRL friends.  I consider the girls I met on the What to Expect boards back in 2007 to be my IRL friends.  We talk at least a few times a week and while it might be on the computer and not over the phone, the conversation is the same, and honestly, probably more "real" than what I would have most of my IRL friends because what we talk about is family, kids, relationships, parenting and more.  These are things I don't really talk to my IRL friends about because they are all at different points when it comes to their families.  I have some that their youngest is a tween and some that aren't even beginning to think about having a family.

The point of this post... My friend Heather lost her 5 month old little boy on Friday.  I posted about Landon's arrival here.  He had a shunt put in his pulmonary artery during his first week of life.  After this surgery he developed NEC, and intestinal infection that is very common in heart babies.  Unfortunately Landon's was not caught before it made a perforation in his intestine.  He had to undergo another surgery to remove this part of his intestine.  During the surgery his heart wasn't doing very well so they gave him a "poop bag" and finished the surgery.  Landon did well with the bag and he was eating and gaining weight and was even home for quite some time.  On Friday he went in to have the "poop bag" removed and his intestine repaired.  After several screenings the doctors had determined he was strong enough for this.  But the doctors were wrong.  Little Landon left this world when his shunt became clogged and he lost oxygen to his body during this surgery.

My heart breaks for Heather and her family.  I can not imagine why such great people who have already been through so much would have to lose such a precious little boy.  A little boy that you would never even know had a problem besides being a little small.  I find myself asking why it happened, how could the doctors have let it happen and more.  And then I think about how I would handle life if it was me.  I honestly can't answer that question and I really don't think anyone can until they've been there.  For Heather and her husband I'm sure that their little girl who is Lillian's age will be what keeps them strong.

Her loss has made me wonder why I'm still working.  Why haven't I opened my shop and worked hard enough at it so I can stay home with my girls.  What can I do to spend more time with them and how can I make that time more enjoyable for all of us.

Please say a prayer for Landon and his family to have the strength to get through this hard time.

It Is A Big Deal

So I've been treating my current weight loss like it's no big deal.  And really I'm trying to act like it isn't a big deal because I have a long way to go.  As in I still have at least 40lbs to lose.

But what is a big deal to me is the fact that I am only 10lbs away from my pre-pregnancy weight.  And what makes that such a big deal to me is that I'm only 3 months, or 14 weeks post partum!  Now if I'd only gained 20lbs it probably wouldn't be that big of a deal to me either, but I didn't, I gained 50!

So right now I'd like to share my pride at hitting the less than 200lb mark at 199.8 this morning!   I can do this next 10lbs no problem!!!

Hhmmmm

I'm not really sure what to blog about right now.  My life seems kind of boring with nothing too post worthy.  Either that or my brain is fried cause I'm tired, not really sure which.

Delaney has become very vocal and I love it.  She wakes up cooing and goes to bed cooing.  And she's pretty much always smiling.  She acts like she's playing peek-a-boo when she's in her car seat.  Once she gets a hold of her blanket she pulls it up over her face and when she puts it back down and sees you she gets all smiley.  Of course she isn't pulling it up and down on purpose, but the reaction is the same as if she was.

Lillian has been, well, Lillian.  When she isn't being mouthy, throwing a fit or begging for something I told her she can't have, she's a great, funny, happy little girl that I love to spend time with.  I love when I randomly find her singing to her little sister.  Or when she starts playing with her "friends" in the bath tub.  The other night they were all in the van going on a trip to town.  Have you ever seen Drop Dead Fred?

For some reason I picture this being Lillian in 25 years!  I'm sure she's perfectly normal since she doesn't blame things on her "friends" and all her "friends" have the same names as kids she knows for real, but she's always playing with them.  

Oh and because most of us forget to blog about it, B has been wonderful!  He's really started to help out more with his own chores and even does some of mine if he is home during the day (which he has been because he was laid off, again).  And one time when I thanked him he said "no need to thank me, I should do it anyway."  I about fainted!

Done?

This past weekend brought to me a startling realization.  Delaney may be my last baby.  This breaks my heart.  I’ve always wanted AT LEAST 2, most likely 3, but finances allowed, 4.  My mom was one of 6 six kids and I always loved her large family.  Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday just because of the family.  My sister and I have both always said that we wished we’d had more siblings like my mom did and I’ve always wanted that for my kids.

B and I have mentioned more/no more kids vaguely, but it’s never really been discussed.  This weekend when my friends’ husband asked him if we were having more B stated “No, we’re done.”  All I could think was “what if I’m not done?”  I do know that there will have to be a compromise and that the fact that he never wanted kids to begin with and now we have 2 is amazing in itself, but I don’t know if I’m ok with saying “we are done.”  Obviously this doesn’t mean it can’t be discussed, it was just a comment, but it was a blow to me.  Yesterday when I was packing up Laney’s clothes for my two cousins that are due this fall, I realized I may not have a reason to save them for myself, but giving them away seems so final to me.  Like I’m resigning to the fact that we won’t have any more and it left me with that very big empty pit feeling in my stomach.

Delaney is 3 Months!

My baby girl is growing up so fast!  I can’t believe she is 3 months old already!!! My pregnancy sure didn’t seem to go this fast!  Delaney amazes me every day.  She gets more and more smiley and coos all the time.  She is constantly looking around and taking everything in.  She adores her big sister, who can’t seem to leave her alone either.

Delaney’s 2 Month Stats (measured by me):

Height: 25.5”

Weight: 14lb 6oz

 

She’s back on the charts for weight at 92% but still above 95% on height.  Yesterday I went to my MIL’s and sorted out the rest of the clothes we have stored in her basement because Laney was quickly running out of pants and one piece outfits.  I started to get nervous, but I finally found all the 3-6 month stuff in the last few boxes I opened.  *hint for new mom’s, save the diaper boxes and put them in the closet to just toss clothes into as your little one grows out of them.  When you start a new box write the size on it and then when it’s full, write the last size on it.  Saves from having to go through it all again later.

Hopefully we will be set for a while, although I was disappointed to find that she has already out grown 2 of the out fits when I went to get her ready for bed last night.  I also grabbed the bumbo and she seemed to enjoy it!