A New Sitter.... AKA a long rant

I have been becoming more and more frustrated with Laney’s sitter over the last few weeks.  She is a really nice lady, kids love her, she takes good care of them, but she just doesn’t seem listen to me.  I don’t think she blatantly ignores what I tell her, but I think she just doesn’t get it.

My biggest problem is with her feeding Laney.  She has been watching Laney for 14 weeks now and I have had to tell her to only feed on demand 4 times already.  Really I should have only had to tell her once.  But no, I’m having to tell her like every 3 weeks.

Friday she infuriated me when I learned that she purposely fed Laney at a certain time “so she’d be ready for me”.  Well really no, she wasn’t because she eats so much at your house that she doesn’t want to nurse for 4 hours or more after I pick her up!

After the first time she started constantly drinking 4 bottles at the sitter I looked at the book and realized most times she was finishing a bottle just before I got there at 4.  So I asked for her not to feed her after 3 unless it had been over 2 hours since her last feeding (this was when she was still eating every 2 hours).  The next day she woke Laney up from a nap just to make sure she had her 4^th bottle before 4!  Umm no, feeding on demand means you feed her when she’s hungry and my theory is to never wake a sleeping baby to eat unless they have a medical need for it. *And maybe a few other circumstances that may warrant it, but not just so she has the bottle*

After finding this out I told her, “just feed her on demand, when she’s hungry.  If I am going to be here to get her in the next 20 minutes or so, try holding her off so I can feed her.” *which I have to drive some where to do because she doesn’t think her son would be comfortable with me nursing her there, insert exasperated sigh and huge eye roll*

Anyway, this was working for a while, until last week.  Last Monday I told her that 1 of the 4 bottles I sent was 5oz instead of 4 because I just had some extra so not to worry if Laney didn’t finish it.  I also told her that the whole week I was exclusively nursing she was eating maybe every 3 hours, sometimes 4.  So the rest of the week when writing down what and when Laney ate, she wrote down 5oz for EVERY feeding!  This isn’t a huge deal, but irritates me because it means she wasn’t even looking at the bottles.  On Thursday she said “she really downed those bottles today.” So I told her “well maybe tomorrow I will send all 5oz bottles and maybe they will fill her up more.”  She said to me “You mean they haven’t been?  I thought you’ve been sending 5oz bottles.”  HELLO??? LISTEN!

So Friday after all week she’d been having 4 bottles a day I said “I’m not sure what you are using for hunger cues, but I always wait until she starts to whine at least and shake her head because he thumb doesn’t give her milk.”  Laney is a good self soother and sucks her thumb a lot, plus she’s teething so sucking and chewing are NOT signs of hunger.  That day she also called me at noon saying something was off with Laney and could I come check on her during lunch.  Of course I went and it was nothing more than her normal nightly discontent with whoever holds her sitting and what I think is a belly ache.  I got her to sleep and also called the Dr and made an apt for her cough (whooping cough is going around and her cough hadn’t gotten better in a week) anyway, I told the sitter I’d be back at 3 to get her.  She called me at 2 again and asked me if I wanted her to wake her up and feed her.  Um NO, if she isn’t hungry don’t feed her!  That day was the first day in a long time she slept over a half hour 45 minutes at the sitter.  And guess what, she only ate 1.5 bottles!

And last but not least, yesterday when I picked Laney up, she asked if I sent 5 bottles.  I said no why?   She said “I know I fed her 3 times today, but there is still 2 bottles left in the fridge.”  I knew then that she had only fed her twice because I knew that I had sent 4 bottles.  One was left from the day before and the other 3 were what I had pumped the day before.  I didn’t defrost milk and I never have more than needed any more.  When I got home and looked in her book tough, she had written down that she fed her 3 times.  This irritated the crap out of me.  What is she doing, filling out the book before she even feeds her?  Feeding her on a schedule which I specifically asked her not to do?  This morning I said to her “Did you find any empty bottles last night, if not you must have only fed her twice.”  She said “No, she must have slept through the 12:30 feeding.”  I said that very possible.  On Sunday she ate at 11 and then napped 1 to almost 4 and didn’t eat til after that.  I’m fine if she only eats twice as long as she’s only eating when she’s hungry.”

Today I’m sending out for information from a daycare center…

I hope this made sense, I don't have time to proof read at the moment

Nursing

With Lillian I loved every minute of it.  OK, that's a lie.  There was a two week period after she started bottles that I loathed it and almost gave up.  But my determination pulled through.  This time, it's different.  I don't know if it's because with 2 children there is more stress and I want to "relieve" that stress (aka consume massive amounts of alcohol).  Or if it's because I'm even more upset about being a working mom and having to pump more than I actually get to nurse.  If it's because I barely pump what Laney consumes (which I think is because the sitter over feeds her) or something else that I can't even think of right now.

Either way, something changed last week.  I don’t know what it was.  Most times I’m upset I can’t drink and B can because I have to drive, work, feed, don’t have a pump, whatever.  I went on vacation last week prepared!  I had enough frozen milk with me to feed her all week if I wanted to.  We didn’t have a microwave or hot water so I would have had to heat the bottles on the stove, but it was completely doable.  

Guess what; while I did indulge in maybe 6 drinks all week, I nursed Laney 100% on demand the whole time!  I didn’t even really have the urge to drink.  Maybe because I felt like crap the first 4 days we were there, maybe because I HATE pumping, I don’t know.  The one night I thought about indulging, the thought of having to get up to heat water on the stove for her 2am feeding was enough to make it not worth it.  I enjoyed every second of it too.

It didn’t really seem like a big deal, just like it didn’t seem like a big deal for B and Lilli to stay over at another family’s cabin by the fire while I took Laney back for bed.  I had the video monitor, but I normally just stayed, mostly because I didn’t feel well and went to sleep too.

What sucks, is this week, being back at work, only getting to nurse her maybe 3 times a day (including her midnight feeding), and having to pump.  I HATE pumping.  My breasts are tender and nipples too.  Not to mention since feeding her on demand for 9 days straight, you’d think I’d have no problem pumping what she consumes at the sitter, but no.  If I didn’t feed her on one side and pump the other in the morning, I’d never pump enough.  I don’t know if the sitter feeds her just because she starts sucking on her thumb or if she’s mistaking teething signs for hunger, or if Laney drinks the whole bottle just because it’s there, but something is off.

One of my favorite things about nursing is when
she falls asleep with her hand gently resting on me.
Obviously I covered myself up before taking the picture!

Another First...

But I'm not going to say this one was a good one, for the first time last night Lillian...

Bit my boob!!!  OMG it hurt so bad and she doesn't even have teeth yet!  I instinctively yelled no and pulled from her grasp and you know what she did, bit me again!  This time I kept my nipple away for a few minutes and she started to fuss.  When I gave it back she was nice though.

Oh and last night during bath time she was experimenting with a little dixie cup.  It was so funny cause she knew she would get water if she put it to her mouth, but she was so confused by not having to suck.  She'd put it to her mouth get water, then pull it away looking all puzzled.  It was the cutest thing!

And last but not least...

Actual Cost of Having Lillian:
Mommy's doctor................$3520
Lillian's doctor....................$820
Mommy's Hospital Bill........$5921
Lillian's Hospital Bill............$1944
Total..................................$12,205

What mommy paid (is paying).....$1,497

Being able to post these pictures...

Priceless

Where to begin???

Well Friday Lillian and I both went to the doctors. She has a cold and I have a hemorrhoid that is small enough not to be able to lance, but large enough to hurt like hell! So right now Lilly is getting saline spray up her nose and I'm getting cortisone up my butt! We are both starting to feel better! Well except now I have her cold and feel like crap from that. But as long as she is feeling better. It actually hasn't bothered her that much besides not being able to clear her throat.

Saturday was nice, we went to a birthday party at the park and B got to play with boys, yes he's nothing but a big kid! And Lilly got to hang out with the girl that will be watching her once we get back from our vacation. I also had my first real "in public" breast feeding experience and I think we did quite well. I've found that I don't need a cover as long as I wear the right type of shirt. Then we went to Red Lobster for dinner, it was great! Except for the part where I found out that apparently I've developed a reaction to beer :( It's happened twice now. When I drink a beer my face and neck get all red and blotchy and I get hot.

Yesterday we went to another birthday party. B had a lot of fun playing with the water balloons with the kids. It didn't end so great though. It started to rain as we were getting ready to leave so he pulled the Jeep around to the back of the house (where their main door is) and as we are leaving he was watching for the dog and ended up hitting a tree! We now need a new windshield, a mirror and possibly a whole door! Not good. Especially being that on top of that my throat was starting to hurt really bad and my head. When we got home Lilly didn't want to go to bed, come to find out she was having tummy troubles and finally pooped after going almost 2 days without.

One good thing about the weekend is that Lilly only had 2 bottles the whole time and fed of the breast the rest of the time! Friday night and Saturday morning were a little rough, but we managed. I hope the 4 bottles she has today doesn't set us back.

And one more plus, only 3 days of work this week!!! And I'm of all next week!!!

Keeping it close just in case...

What a rough night!

Thanks Everyone!

I want to thank everyone for the advice and well wishes on my last few posts. I'm so happy it's Friday and I can spend the weekend with my little girl! Although I did tell B last night that I think I may just take off for a few hours this weekend so they can have some bonding time. I just want to make sure she doesn't sleep the whole time. I mean that certainly won't show him how time consuming taking care of her can be.

I'm exhausted today and woke up to a very wet sleeping bra. I was so tired last night that when Lilly was hunger at 9 we fed laying down. She did come off after not long, but I knew if I put her in the bassinet she was going to get fussy, so she stayed where she was until I woke up just after 10 because I dozed off. At that point I was way too tired to pump so I pumped what came out quickly and that was it. Its been a long time since I pumped 9oz at once. Today to keep my supply up, I'm trying to drink 20oz of water between each pumping. We'll see how that goes and if it works.

The Break Down

Well last night I finally broke down and cried. I just couldn't take it. When I picked Lilly up from Nana's (that's what we call her sitter, she's been Nana for 18 years now to me) they were sitting on the porch watching the cars go by and talking. Lilly was smiling and talking, it was so cute.

Well I got her home and she started to get fussy so I got the Moby Wrap out and she fell asleep within minutes of being put in it. And thankfully she slept long enough to let me get 2 loads of laundry folded. Then she woke up and was fussy. She cried terribly off and on. Then when I fed her she was on there for over an hour! Every time she'd come off if I didn't get her right back on her lip would quiver and she'd cry out. (How long should she be on there?)

I started crying because I want those happy times where she's smiling and cooing! I want her to be happy to come home, not cry all night. Am I doing something wrong? I feel like even at her young age she likes Nana better than me. Is that possible?

On a better note, thanks to some great advice I got yesterday BFing went great last night! My boobs are sore and feeling a little bruised today, but no nipple pain like before! I hope tonight is just as good!

Toys?

So being a new mommy, I'm not sure what to do. Lilly is becoming bored with the things she has, which isn't really much I guess. She isn't all that into her play mat because that requires her laying on her back. I'm not really sure what a 7 week old should be "playing" with.

I think I'm going to try more and more with the play mat cause she likes the toys and sounds, she just doesn't like to be on it for long periods of time. Besides that, what kind of toys should she have?

Things are going well with the baby sitter and I'm really wishing she would do it full time, but I know that isn't an option. Leaving her today was pretty hard, I think harder than the first day only cause I'm starting to miss her more the longer I'm away. I love that when I get home B lets me cuddle with her. We've started this pattern that I take care of her at night and he takes care of her in the morning. He really enjoys giving her bottle first thing in the morning, she's very cuddly then.

Also, I'm trying really hard to feed her off the breast for her two feedings at night now. It was really painful last night though. I'm not sure what to do about it. She basically causes blisters on the end of my nipple. It won't hurt when she is constantly sucking because she gets the nipple far enough back, but then she sucks in spurts and that's when it starts to hurt because the latch changes. Any suggestions on how to get her to keep sucking to make sure her latch doesn't change? Once she gets lazy she won't open her mouth wide either so taking her off and putting her back on gets frustrating cause I have to do it so many times.

Happy hump day everyone!