Improving

Yesterday was a hard day. I was feeling defeated. I had cheated on my diet again on Tuesday night and though I didn't gain much, I still didn't lose, and rightfully I shouldn't have. I am finding that I am an emotional eater. And well when it's the diet causing me to want to emotionally eat it creates all sorts of turmoil in me. Yesterday I purposely made something for B and Lilly that I don't like because I didn't want to give in. And then I didn't even go relax with them while they ate. I worked in the kitchen, prepared more food for myself for the week and kept busy until it was time for bed. Poor B didn't like this much and could tell I wasn't doing well. He hugged me and offered to do anything to help, all I asked from him was for some understanding while I got through the day. And it paid off. I'm at my lowest yet this morning! A small victory in it's own, but hopefully motivation to stay focused.

And Lilly is making small improvements too. Last night she was insisting she could feed the dogs herself (mind you our dogs on all 4s are as tall as she is) and I told her no she needed to close the food bin. She looked at me and was about to say "don't..." I just gave her a look and she stopped before she even got all of don't out and said "sorry mom". There was one other incident after that with "don't talk to me" after she was told not to touch something and her refusing to sit in time out. I gave her the option of a spank or time out and she chose spank. But that was the end of it. And please don't think a spanking is much in my house. It's just a light tap on the butt, but to her the thought of mommy "hitting" her on purpose, no matter how light, is effective. Considering she didn't nap all day, I was pleased. And she is doing well with saying "please stop" rather than "stop it!"

She insisted her baby be buckled in too!